tabby

tabby wrote

I'm trying to wean myself off. I'm down to one cup of coffee every morning down from two cups every morning and usually one in the afternoon/early evening (since I work the evening shift). Almost a week in and I'm still feeling like total dogshit. My job is pretty laid back though, so I can manage. I think I'm sleeping better.

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tabby wrote (edited )

Wolfi suggests that there's ways to "share erotic pleasure" with children that don't harm or violate them. This is bullshit. How many adults who were sexually abused as children do you know speak positively about their experiences and weren't traumatized by them?

Yes, institutions including schools, churches, the nuclear family, etc. repress children, and sexual repression (specifically the repression of age-appropriate sexual behavior, i.e. masturbation) is certainly a part of that repression, but that in no way necessitates or justifies adults sexually abusing children.

Children don't need to be sexually abused by adults to avoid becoming sexually repressed. Most children learn to masturbate by themselves; all they need is to not be shamed for doing so and to be given privacy.

As far as Wolfi's and other individualists/post-leftists/egoists' larger project of rejecting morality: unlike others, I don't think defending child sexual abuse (or rape, murder, assault, etc.) is a bug of individualist/post-leftist/egoist anarchism but a feature and has turned me off of it. I'm all for questioning society's morals and rejecting ones that I know aren't right, but I wouldn't want to live in a community with no guiding morality.

Edit: corrected grammar

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tabby wrote (edited )

This is good, especially because there's fewer or no disinfection byproducts formed, but the problem is, like other alternatives to chlorination (UV, ozone) it doesn't leave a residual. Water leaving the treatment plant is disinfected, but there's nothing in the water to prevent new growth of pathogenic organisms out in the distribution system.

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tabby wrote (edited )

I guess where you and I disagree is that I think there's sufficient evidence for behavioral addictions (sex, porn, food, gambling, video games, internet browsing, exercise, etc.) due to the way the brain's reward system works and the modern environment. These addictions can begin as ways to cope with trauma similar to how exogenous chemicals can (note that I didn't say that porn is the same as meth or heroin). Watching too much porn can change the brain, and, for people for whom those changes are unwanted or deleterious, abstaining from porn for a while, or just cutting down, can be beneficial.

I'm not a fundamentalist. I don't think that all porn is bad or unhealthy, that all porn actors and actresses are abused, coerced, or exploited, or that everyone who watches porn has a problem. Sex is good (though not unqualifiedly good). I am, however, suspect of the eroticization of sadomasochism, domination and submission in much porn (and in some of my own tastes and fantasies), and much of porn is informed by and perpetuates patriarchy and rape culture.

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tabby wrote (edited )

I was raised Christian, and even though I'm non-religious now, I still have brainworms from it that I can't, and probably never will, be able to completely kill no matter how much Stirner I read. Fuck me, right?

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tabby wrote

A Mormon who has two beers on a Friday night and then beats himself up about it for a week cause he betrayed god isn't an alcoholic, no.

When I'm talking about porn addicts, that's not what I'm talking about at all. I'm not talking about someone who watches porn for 10-15 minutes while they rub one out and then go on with their day. I doubt this kind of person is going to feel much guilt or shame about doing so.

Based on the typical r/pornfree self-report, and, again, on my own experiences, I'm talking about people who are watching porn every day, sometimes multiple times a day, for an hour or more at a time, flipping from one video to the next, watching increasingly extreme genres over time, and who can't keep an erection or orgasm during sex and can't not recall porn scenes during sex rather than being present with their partners. I'm talking about people ignoring their responsibilities, hygiene, and health to watch porn.

I'm certainly not saying "porn made me do it". In my case, porn addiction wasn't the cause of my problems at the time but a symptom of other things that were wrong in my life and my marriage, but it was real nonetheless.

I don't know why everyone here seems to have a problem with any kind of criticism of porn consumption.

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tabby wrote

Reply to comment by masque in The Porn Crisis That Isn’t by SJWarCleric

Right, just as drinking alcohol isn't morally bad but it's addictive and someone could become concerned with his or her own alcohol consumption not because it's bad but because he or she recognizes signs of addiction.

From my own past experiences and reading those of other men, porn use definitely can, and does, become problematic, and it doesn't make sense to say that it does so solely because we chose it and not at least partly because it's addicting.

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