putridcod87 wrote (edited )

as someone else pointed out, many red flags. id be more concerned of the general dynamics of your relationship although im aware that is harder to analyze/question than this given example.

look after yourself. [hug]

i searched for a pdf of 'Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men' by cody bancroft but couldnt find it. heres some sort of brief summary from it.

Pay close attention if your partner….

  • is controlling
  • demonstrates a sense of entitlement
  • acts superior to you
  • is manipulative
  • strives for a good public image and often comes off as “charming” early in a relationship
  • is possessive
  • speaks disrespectfully about former partners
  • is disrespectful toward you
  • treats you differently around other people—treating you well when others are watching but treating you poorly when you no one is around to witness the abusive behaviors
  • gets serious in a relationship too quickly
  • does favors for you that you do not want
  • shows generosity that makes you feel uncomfortable
  • does not accept being at fault
  • is self-centered
  • pressures you for sex
  • intimidates you when angry
  • appears attracted to vulnerability

edit: pdf available here but u probly gotta sign up to StP https://squattheplanet.com/files/why-does-he-do-that.481/


putridcod87 wrote

20 pdfs and 3 boxes of books easily sounds intimidating. maybe set achieveable goals for yourself?

i read much more in winter than other times of the year and have picked out what i want to priortise reading this winter. i read 3 or 4 books at the same time to give relief from each other, different densities, styles, topics etc.

habbit trackers can also work quite well for some people. make the space to read each day, its easy to say you didnt have time. 2hrs phone/computer-free in the evening or whatever might work for you.

take a book with you everywhere and instead of scrolling for 10 or 15mins here and there, read your book.


putridcod87 wrote

interesting how the text also states...

...As, of course, is the most glaringly obvious point: that the problems we face go well beyond queerphobia or transphobia, but the whole fucking system of planetary enslavement, destruction, exploitation and imprisonment. We don’t want to see anyone in the prison system, whether they are black trans women, or cis white men.

but that got overlooked.

this doesn't sound like the language of a transfobe to me.