noordinaryspider

Reply to comment by /u/db0 in Are you a lifelong anarchist? by /u/ziq

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noordinaryspider wrote

Probably 13 for me, but very similar story. I was introduced to the concept in childhood.

I would still like to learn more about Marxism, which was my big "wanna learn" about this time last year, but Anarchism is just making more sense right now with my current life circumstances, both from a perspective of actual change that is worth my extremely limited time at Hotel Life and of a way of making sense out of what I have no power to change because it already happened.

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noordinaryspider wrote

It's still reality.

He owned ten acres of land surrounded by common land and was constantly getting accused of living or growing food on the wrong side of the border.

They threatened to kill his dogs because they didn't know how prevalent ticks were in that area. It was too easy to blame the "weirdo with too many dogs" to be worth looking up basic information in the encyclopedia, I guess.

You've caught me on a particularly "I hate the world" day but this was a relatively well known back-to-the-land community that was founded in the late '70s with the best intentions and the highest ideals.

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noordinaryspider wrote

I appreciate everyone here. You may lead very different lives from me, but you never invalidate me or make me feel like my life didn't matter.

I especially appreciate /u/ziq and /u/Copenhagen_Bram for making me do a doubletake and think about what, exactly it is that I appreciate each of them FOR instead of just that I appreciate both of them in completely different ways.

I appreciate /u/ziq, /u/GrimWillow, /u/selver, most recently /u/PerfectSociety and everybody else who has had more access to literature than myself for giving me the words to describe personal reality as well as utopian idealism more accurately.

It should go without saying that I appreciate the lack of judgement and unconditional support I was somewhat skeptical about finding here.

It should also go without saying that I appreciate all "heads up"s and "things are not always what they seem"s as well.

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noordinaryspider wrote

I'm stuck in a little city but at least I got out of a big one.

I feel you.

Too bad I'm the one whose >you-aged kid hates them for moving from a big city to a little one.

Maybe families are just like that. Anyway, I'm glad to be posting on the same thread of the same internet forum with you, for whatever THAT's worth.

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noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

I'm very impressed with them. They're down to earth and not condescending at all, perhaps more on the communist side than the anarchist side, I gather, but intelligent, passionate, willing to learn and grow, and not classist in the least from what I see.

I'm in major asshole mode atm, so everybody's faults appear much larger than they actually are.

Agreeing with you 100% on this one. :)

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noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

I've had some interesting conversations with Libertarians and also learned useful information with them. I can get along with them as acquaintances and even develop real respect for them that I could never feel for Republicans or less extreme members of the right.

Could I work with them to defeat the most toxic elements of the State?

Have I done so in the past? It was kind of unavoidable not to completely "otherize" them while homeschooling children as a low income single mother in the '90s and '00s. The liberals just assumed I would want to enroll my kids in a charter school's homestudy program for the $1,200 per kid per year stipend for shiny pretty "cirricular" and herded me off to where they thought the riff raff belonged.

https://a2zhomeschooling.com/thoughts_opinions_home_school/public_home_school_programs/

So I learned to find common ground with the Libertarians. We defeated some bills together. Dug some textbooks out of the trash together. Raised our kids together. Lost our religions together. Escaped some toxic marriages together. Lived through some history together.

Ultimately we failed. Maybe you don't see it that way since "homeschooling is one of the fastest growing markets for the charter school and publishing industries" but the word doesn't mean the same thing any more.

https://coinsh.red/p/We_Stand_For_Home_Schooling.html

The Corporations won. I can't tell you how to homeschool your children. I don't have the slightest idea how to even get on the waitlist for that program or whether you even qualify for it unless you buy a house in a more upscale neighbourhood.

And you're asking me if I can imagine working with these people to save a country or a world when we couldn't even save an obscure small grassroots fringe movement for extremely minor personal social change?

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noordinaryspider wrote

I can't stand cities and will probably die of exposure before trying to make a life in one. I don't see myself as being much of an asset to an intentional community at this point (pushing 60, vision issues, require electricity to access oral nutrition) but perhaps I might be able to do some sort of menial labour such as scrubbing toilets. Perhaps it might be less expensive to throw some garbage scraps at me than to hire a professional toilet scrubber.

Who knows. It sounds better than any other likely future. I can conceptualize it if I have a radically different appearance (pale skin) that cannot be ignored and can be used to explain away cultural differences (The Gringa Beggar) and used as an excuse for avoiding language other than two or three grammatically incorrect phrases that mean:

"Because my family doesn't want me any more."

"I don't know because I was very drunk at the time."

"Me scrub you toilet fifty cent."

It sure as hell isn't telling old family stories to the toddlers and teaching the teenagers how to make old family recipes when all the kids come to visit for Thanksgiving, but it's got to be better than what is realistically most likely to be my ultimate fate.

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noordinaryspider wrote

I've seen intentional communities go South very badly. My brother described his intentional community as analagous to being married to a whole lot of people and marriages can be like prisons.

The Farm, of course, is one example of an intentional community that survived for more than one generation. I would like to believe that this is possible.

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noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

Thank you, Edmund.

Videl, I'm not very convincing either. My concern is the absolute lack of support and compassion you are likely to receive from the mainstream for this tragedy. Your grief deserves to be acknowledged.

As usual, I am the other side of the same coin as another poster and it didn't go any better for me than it did upthread: I prioritized the relationship, accepted the gifts from the family member, and I don't think I could possibly feel worse about the downward mobility, substance abuse, bulls and bears and bears and bulls, etc. of

ACAB, even the one I birthed in my own bed, nursed until he was done, and sang "All My Trials" to; that asshole wouldn't think twice about shooting me in the back for a dime.

Nobody's going to click on the hug smilie for you the way they did for Pastor's Wife when her kid ran off with Phish to grow Marry Wanny in Amsterdam.

Ain't nobody gonna listen to you cry but this imaginary spider on this Reddit for Radicals on thishere interwebz thingummy.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Like most family trauma, this one doesn't get better either, it just inexorably changes from sharp, unbearable pain to a dull ache that defines your existence.

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noordinaryspider wrote

I'm using Audacity, which worked out of the box when I was running Ubuntu and will also run on Windows and Mac, but I wound up sending someone a great big file of static now that I'm running "Boring old Vanilla Debian" so I'm not there yet either, lol.

It would be fun, though. I'm not consciously trying to get "better", I just want to enjoy playing what I want when I want and I miss the social aspect of being a not-so-great but passable rhythm guitarist and background singer.

La la la shooby dooby doo; look forward to seeing you on /f/guitar.

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noordinaryspider wrote

I really only become intolerant when it affects me, such as when I have to cancel other plans to try to figure out how to encrypt email on iOS for someone who refuses to use Thunderbird, which I already know.

It's humiliating, but sometimes the most expedient solution is to look confused and tell the cashier who harvests spammable email addresses for mallwart, "I....I just don't know. Sonny always has taken care of punk youters for me but he's not here right now because the gummit needed him to go to eye rack right away so I just don't know what my email address is."

My talking senior citizen's flip phone made me want to punch people in the face, so I just use Sopranica now and carry a pen and a memo book for everything else I would actually use a phone to do,

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noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

I absolutely do not think that you are angry at me. I greatly appreciate the time and emotional energy you invested in me and hope that you never regret it.

This has been so healing for me, even when it has been exhausting. I have also shed literal tears and found myself thinking of you at 3 AM, fondly and protectively as well as with regrets that I did not pad a few corners that would have been easy enough to pad and wishes that I had listened more and talked less.

All we can do is go on from here. I wish you well. You deserve better than you are likely to get and I can't fix that, all I can do is try to be a decent person and stand up for you and your people in the future even if all that means is:

"Well, we're just going to have to agree to disagree then. I guess I'm not a real feminist, but as I was saying...."

"Since I will never agree with the board about this particular issue, I would appreciate any recommendations for a different Feminism discussion board that is better suited to my own unique needs."