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Reply to comment by /u/ziq in Friday Free Talk by /u/ThreadBot

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noordinaryspider wrote

Would she like a tiny house or an in-law apartment so that she can have her own space and still be part of your family?

My daughter is weird; she has experience as a caregiver for her grandparents so she always knows how to balance the needs for autonomy ans independence with the need for purpose and continuity.

You, bloodrose, are going to need to do all the work she has had 30 years to learn from scratch, but I do think that ziq is right and that it might be possible to meet both your daughter's and your own needs.

You are way too smart and too strong to wind up where I am right now. I have enough faith in you to know that you will figure this out.

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noordinaryspider wrote

I am so sorry. I loved California in the '80s and only remember the greater LA area as having that kind of poor air quality. :'''(

I never want to see SB again, since I want to remember it always as the magical place it was before the fires and before Elliot Rodger, but it does make me happy to know that the Moreton Bay fig tree is still there.

Tell Sacramento hello for me because I will never forget it even though the best I could do to protect it was ultimately not good enough.

Reply to comment by /u/bloodrose in Friday Free Talk by /u/ThreadBot

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noordinaryspider wrote

God forbid anyone should actually walk around in public wearing teeth that look like TEETH.

My preferred choice of fake teeth would work just fine without costing me my land as long as I could wire them up to some sort of a bicycle or something to generate a bit of electricity. I think they're silver right now but I could afford to just toss them and buy a yellow one or even a white one if I wanted to.

My preferred choice of fake teeth are called a "blender" and it work just fine when my gums don't do everything I would have used my REAL teeth to do if I still had them, thankyouverymuch.

Why do I always wind up feeling so empowered and making such bitchy comments on these threads, anyway?

I'm not angry at the people who actually read this shit, I'm just saying, "Yea! You're right! This IS bullshit and I DON'T have to keep sucking it up!" but none of my mentors and self-appointed protectors and imaginary pretend internet crushes are mind readers, are you?

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noordinaryspider wrote

Can you try setting up a RSS feed with the best sports sites that are frequently reposted?

I was semi-successful with that method when I ditched Facebook. I wasn't tempted to log in and stayed reasonably well informed anyway.

The commitment part is what we Raddlers are for. How can we help you? I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed value in what you add to the discussions around here. We want you for ourselves, we don't want to see you hurt and abused on Reddit.

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noordinaryspider wrote

This is bigger than I can personally conceptualize at the present time and I don't personally have enough leftover energy to feel feelings.

Thank you, Trashman, and everyone who commented. Please accept my sincere apologies if I wasn't clear enough about why I chose to start a separate rather than duplicate thread for those of us non-coder average-joe types who need a quick factual summary of this very important issue.

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noordinaryspider wrote

When my sibling died, it helped to remember the tasks that THEY asked of me.

These were not "default" choices that Everybody's Dear Departed must have said before being carried gently home to their heavenly reward in light of the fact that my sibling was a full, rich, multi-faceted human being who thought the phrase "heavenly reward" sounded like a flavour of ice cream and found that thought to be far more hilarious than it actually probably is.

Your mother was a unique human being too. Your responsibility is to her, not to the utility company or the bank. It's none of their fucking business how you choose to honour her memory and process your grief.

For that matter, when someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes important to you. You're SUPPOSED to be "a bit unreasonable" and "sensitive" when SOME RANDOM IDIOT INSULTS YOUR LATE MOTHER'S MEMORY so don't stress over being a normal human being under the abnormal stress of a life-defining moment.

I am so, so sorry that you are having to deal with statist corporatist bullshit at the same time you are wrapping your mind around the fact that your mother died.

Thank you for creating a static resource for the next person who has to walk in your shoes. We are all going to bury our mothers if we live long enough.

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noordinaryspider wrote

This seems fair and just and not something I would ever dream of risking or messing with for personal reasons.

However, I am curious how you would feel about us using coinish to share images for personal rather than political reasons.

I'm not comfortable using Photobucket, Flickr, Facebook, etc. which is not your problem.

Would a donation resolve any actual problems my family might cause with very light (significantly<30 images/month) nonpolitical personal use?

tia

Reply to comment by /u/bloodrose in Friday Free Talk by /u/ThreadBot

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noordinaryspider wrote

NO!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!

I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!! One fGerTee for me and another one for my houseplants. Or maybe three of them since my jungle babies need more heat and humidity than my seasonal patio/house plants. Or four so the grandbabies could have their own space and their half-siblings could visit half-quasi-sorta-kinda-not-really-but-this-will-have-to-do-granny too!

Bloodrose, you and I could seriously have a blast LARPing this absurd crush on a piece of undeveloped property together even if it does turn out to be just an exercise in unexpected emergency DIY mental health self-care.

:D

Time to close my laptop and call my Real Estate agent. I kind of like the sound of that, don't you?

Reply to comment by /u/bloodrose in Friday Free Talk by /u/ThreadBot

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noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

((((((((((((((((((((bloodrose))))))))))))))

Please forgive my asinine mommywebz multiple parentheses; I doesn't talk good.

I wish I had words of wisdom instead of commiseration.

My grandkids' "real" aka biological grandparents don't want them any more so I guess I need to step up to the plate at least as far as not stressing out my 30 year old daughter any worse than she's already stressed out. They also need some sort of wacky and offbeat and DIFFERENT "care package" for giftmas, birthdays, etc. that aren't trying and failing to replace what they don't have any more.

I don't get to be "Gramma" or "Granny" because it's not about me this time. I don't get genetic immortality because there aren't going to be any more kids. This is it. This is the only "next generation" there is.

I want to be part of their lives whether they call me "Grandmother", "Grandiddy", or "Grandma Bobo". They don't owe me a damned thing and neither do EITHER of their mothers.

You don't owe your mother anything either. If she has earned the right to be a weekly part of your daughter's life then only you can make the hard decisions about where and how you want to raise your own child.

That is where I drew my line in the sand.

My grandkids' mother made a decision. Their biological grandparents refused to accept it. I will fight to the death for her right to raise her children as she sees fit whether or not I fully understand the reasoning behind her choices.

Reply to comment by /u/bloodrose in Friday Free Talk by /u/ThreadBot

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noordinaryspider wrote

Probably not.

It's too close to a town and not big enough. Somebody else is probably going to snatch it up while I'm still learning about zoning regulations and yurts and digging trenches for pipe and stuff.

My first real amateur-Real-Estate-investment probably isn't even on the market yet and is undoubtedly much further out in the sticks than my pretend internet crush land is.

I'm still enjoying my crush and looking forward to talking to its Real Estate agent some more anyway. A quarter acre of undeveloped land for the same amount of money as a disgusting plastic object I'm supposed to want to ram into my own mouth to pretend that "perfect pearly whites" aren't a classist issue is kind of an interesting paradigm shifting factoid:

https://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/imperfect-teeth/

Fuck that shit. I'm not drooling and lisping and gagging my way through what's left of my life to coddle random strangers who hate me, much less paying the fashion police that kind of a "fine" for the imaginary "crime" of informing any idiot who is offended by my existence that their neck was supposed to come with a handy swivel feature and it's hardly my fault that they bought a defective body with a defective neck that won't even swivel the way it's supposed to.

If someone REALLY wanted to look at something pretty, then why can't they go buy themselves a goddamnedmotherfuckingtcocksucking petunia? If their neck doesn't swivel, why don't they tell whoever they bought their neck from and ask for their money back or a neck that works the way it was supposed to instead of whining at ME?

It's not my fault their necks don't work right. I'm just an ugly person who minds my own business.

The REAL ESTATE business, a fun and exciting investment opportunity for amateur amateurs.

:P

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noordinaryspider wrote

Then I understand your difficulty in accepting her love more than I understood the actual situation.

Please forgive me for running my mouth and accidentally insulting a very beautiful and special human being over a silly internet crush, which is all I ever have been or been able to offer to you.

I am very protective of you because you protected me when I was at my most vulnerable. There is nothing complicated about that.

She is very lucky. I'm not really jealous, but sometimes I am going to say things that come off as bitchy.

I'll work on that.

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noordinaryspider wrote

fml

bla bla bla everybody's got problems

Just reread whateverthefuck I wrote on last Friday's Free Talk thread if anyone actually reads, cares or believes anything I write; nothing's changed; what's gone's gone; what's done's done; it don't matter; let it be.

Reply to comment by /u/Anarcropolis in Friday Free Talk by /u/ThreadBot

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noordinaryspider wrote

There's nothing wrong with taking a break and coming back to your work with a fresh, new perspective.

There's nothing wrong with taking a break for 30 or 40 or 50 years. Sometimes that just makes books better.

Books are just like that. It's one of my favourite things about books. It's one of the reasons why I'm glad someone like you is going to the effort of writing a book instead of a movie or a game or some other form of not-book.

Keep up the good work and don't stress the small stuff, 'kay?

Reply to comment by /u/videl in Friday Free Talk by /u/ThreadBot

3

noordinaryspider wrote

Not as often as they should, according to my spidey sources; it is still all too frequently misdiagnosed as depression, especially among the lower socioeconomic castes, and mistreated by throwing random inexpensive antidepressants at it until....

Well, you get the point or you wouldn't be on Raddle in the first place.

Vitamin D time; a round for the house and just put the tab on this spider's bill.

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noordinaryspider wrote

Nah.

I'd look too dumb with a matching tattoo on my shrivelled old forehead if they could even fit "idiot disaster with idiotgirlgeekidiotinternetgirlgeekgirlcrush on not-idiot bi disaster" on the stupid thing.

She wasn't good enough for you is all. Neither am I, but what the fuck has THAT ever had to do with anything?

You be you.

You just haven't met her yet, but somewhere out there in the universe there does exist someone who is worthy of GaldraChevaliere.