moto OP wrote (edited )

So after (and I'm not lying when I say) a fuck-ton of relapses, I've finally hit the one month milestone. For many of you, this may not seem like that much of a milestone, but having been heavily addicted and engaging with this habit since the age of 13 years old (I'm 25 now) it's definitely taken a lot of willpower and soul searching. So without further do, let us proceed to the reason why you all clicked on this post.


  • Confidence - This is by far the most noticeable benefits I've experienced. Throughout my whole life (probably due to growing up in a broken family) I've always been the diplomat, the referee, the mediator in any form of confrontation. In some ways this has been beneficial, but there are hundreds of times that I wish I stood up for myself. Since starting this journey, and on this particular streak, I can safely say that this "Nice Guy" syndrome is well and truly on it's way down the toilet. This doesn't mean that I've turned into a massive, arrogant prick; but more so, when I know someone is trying to mess me around, whether it's a friend, associate, girl, or even a stranger, I will stand up for myself. In the gym there have been times when a particular member will be screaming out in almost orgasmic tongues as he does his lifts. Whereas before I would have ignored it and bit my tongue, the other day I approached the person in question and asked them if they could please keep it down as it's distracting me, he agreed. There have been other social interactions I've noted where I have disagreed with someones viewpoint when previously I would go along with what they said in fear of any form of confrontation. In many years of my life I have had to feign confidence to get through certain situations, but now it comes to me naturally, I don't even have to think about it.

  • Happiness- This is something I never thought I could change. After being bullied for a large portion of my teen years, mixed with a difficult upbringing, I confidently say that I am happier than I've ever been in the entirety of my existence. Things that I used to dread such as visiting my grandmother, seeing my nieces and nephews make me smile. I smile so much I can feel my jaw ache. From the beauty of nature, the food I taste, the stories I hear from friends and the company of my family. Everything has been magnified with kaleidoscope lenses. This is actually one of the main things that has stopped me from relapsing, as I have grown to hate the feeling of the colossal amounts of dopamine Pornagraphy gives me. Particularly when reaching climax during relapse and, in the end, feeling dead, robotic and lifeless. My happiness is worth too much to me these days to bother with such primal, carnal novelty and pleasure.

  • Physical- Physically I am in the best shape I've ever been in my life. With the extra energy I have conserved from semen retention I been attended boxing classes several times a week alongside deadlifting, squatting and a whole heap of other resistance exercises which have served as an excellent avenue for me to transmute my sexual energy. Sparring in the ring has also been a crazy experience as I am not as scared of getting hit (which can actually be disadvantageous in some occasions.) To anyone thinking of taking up this journey, I would highly suggest that you find a sport of your own or physical activity to transmute the ox-like energy you'll gain from withholding your seed. An idle body leads to an idle mind, and before you know it the urges will come knocking on your cortex...or rather battering the door down with a ram.

  • My voice has also deepened quite a bit, and in general, during conversation I take a lot longer to speak; focusing instead on listening to the other persons perspectives and opinion instead of coming from a place of insecurity and trying to dominate conversations (aka masturbating to the sound of my own voice.) I've found that usually the more you listen to people, the more interest they will take in your own opinions and views.

  • I should also mention that I haven't had a single cold, flu, sore-throat or illness throughout the entirety of this month. For someone who has suffered from all of these nearly every time Autumn (fall) and Winter comes about, this has been an amazing change. I live in London, UK and for the most part it's fucking freezing and miserable weather; but the strength of my immune system this past month has shown me that there are truly amazing components inside your semen. Anti-oxidants and chemicals that are much more beneficial being stored inside of you than out on a tissue... or a crusty sock...

  • Dating- In my eyes and in hindsight, one of the most damaging things Pornography can do to you is make you believe women are on some form of pedestal. Out of your league. That they are such beautiful, sexy, deviant beings that you would have to be a Brad Pitt or Bill Gates to even think of having sex or being with them. On the contrary, what I've found is that all you need to be is present. When I used to date before taking up this lifestyle, I would be so wrapped up in the looks of the girl, so nervous about when we were going to kiss, if she liked me or not and so into my own mind that I would come across as weird, distant, nervous and so far into my feminine energy that it's of no surprise that 2nd dates would be hard to come by. This has changed drastically, this weekend I'm actually going on 3 third dates, with 3 awesome girls I've met in the past month. The Nofap mentality has allowed me to be fully in the moment, and enjoy the conversation, enjoy the company of the girl (if it is good) and being in contact with my instincts enough to know whether it's time to kiss or not, to get physical or not. Testosterone really does help in these situations. The fact that I've been working, dating and living on such depleted stores of this wonderful hormone for so long is crazy. A few weeks ago I went in for the kiss and the girl in question turned her cheek and said "She didn't feel like kissing me." I smiled, told her it was fine, paid for the bill and, in the end, decided there was no point pursuing someone who clearly doesn't have that much of an attraction for me. Before Nofap I would have been completely crushed by her comment and would have probably chased after her to the point of me looking either like a stalker or a complete chode. Not anymore folks. Life is too short and there are too many other interesting women in the world to get caught up on one who isn't on the same wavelength as you.

  • It should also be mentioned that I do find women looking at me more often, but I believe this is because instead of walking around with my head hunched over, looking at the sidewalk, I make eye contact with people a lot more; thus I notice if girls are looking at me now.

  • Career- Through Nofap, I quit my day job, got qualified as a personal trainer and have put a vast amount of my energy into my love for music and music production. After getting a Masters degree in audio technology several years ago, and with some talent in music production; I gave it up in the end due to my own insecurities of entering a creative industry where success and security is difficult to come by, and instead went for a job that payed alright but made me literally want to die on my daily commute to and fro.

Now (after quitting my job and getting qualified) I am a freelance personal trainer with a good client base. I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face, knowing that I am helping people meet there own fitness/psychological goals in life. I don't make as much money as I did with my old job, but the happiness I get from personal training people is worth 10 fold the old salary I had.

My evenings are spent making music I love, and transmuting more of my sexual energy into building and creating, what I hope is a portfolio of music that I can make a career out of in the future. I actually released an EP, if you're interested in hearing it (even if the genre isn't to your taste) check it out here.

Overall I have learnt more about myself in this month than I have in my previous 25 years alive. This really is powerful stuff, I'm excited to see the challenges I will face and the rewards I will reap if I continue on to 90 days or longer. Sorry if this got a bit long, hopefully you found something interesting/inspiring from this post that will help you with your own journey in taking back control over your sexual energy and, ultimately, your existence.

Peace and love to all of you,

Moto/3rd Feast