lettuceLeafer

lettuceLeafer wrote

Wtf is this bullshit. I told you twice on two separate occasions that you just had to tell me your costs and I would pay enough that you never had to pay out of pocket for server costs. But you should never tell me.

Then in your Patreon you would write about wanting money for buying trees or funding your writing. And you would refuse to tell me. All you have ever had to do is just say "hey LettuceLeafer, I'm X amount short for server fees can U pay it." I gave u the offer twice and you blew me off.

So how the hell do I get repaid. Instead of taking my offer you contrive this financial instability. Then you contrive this problem then use it to insult me. I literally fucking told you I would solve the issue.

Ugh, I got better shit to do with my life than hang out with people who don't like how I do things. I'll make it so you won't get to say I fucked you over. You better never fucking utter that shit.

I gave you 65 on 09/01/22. So that's an addition to bucks a month. So u make 33. Let's say an average of 65. That's 32 dollars a month. I'll send you 200 to cover 6 months. Then I'll leave. Now you have 6 months to go find some assholes to beg to.

Now shut the fuck up with the passive aggressive dragging me over your money. Money you have always just had to ask me for! Fucking piece of shit. Nah you would rather fucking drag me rather than be straight up and communicate with me. Jesus Christ.

I'm not sending the money cuz I want shit to do with raddle at this point. I'm only sending it so you don't get the right to play victim and act like I wronged you. You contrived this whole fucking event just to get the opportunity to be an ass to me.

I don't know why. Maybe I just fucking hate me but are too much of a coward to say it. I don't know what I did to deserve it. I tried pretty hard to get along with you.

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lettuceLeafer wrote (edited )

Reply to comment by !deleted30 in by !deleted30

Yeah cool. I'm sure asterisms will be really happy to read your apology. I can't or won't speak for them. But it seemed to me they appreciate talking to you and would wanna still be friendly. So I won't be surprised if this is all resolved.

So if you need to sleep you have done decent enough in addressing stuff. But also I don't wanna be the one who makes that decision solely.

But I'm glad you are being cool. I mean it's not that unexpected. This is expected behavior of you so your reputation still stand in my eyes. As we all mess up. When asterisms responds and is at least somewhat okay then I hope shit goes back to normal

It's always really upsetting when things like this goes badly and one person feels overly slighted. I don't want you to leave because it can't be resolved and I don't want this to feel unresolved so it come sup later. I'd rather solve the issue and it not be a problem.

P.s. sorry if my messages seem like I have 2 personalities. I'm trying to do ideal mediation tactics. Which usually has three groups, one to help the person hurt, one to try and catalyze fixing the division and one person to help console the person who accidentally caused X problem.

And I think that last one is important. In the past the person called out doesn't get any support on raddle and maybe that's a issue. So I'm trying to wear all three because I don't want this to be a messy problem or one person gets more emotionally hurt than needed

But it's kinda a pain in the ass because this method isn't designed for one person to do a three tasks. But my point is I think mediation is close to done. But. Also want to help I feel seen too because it's not easy owning up to stuff. It sounds a little silly but your emotions and feeling bad for hurting someone you like on accident are real too and you deserve to have some comfort and not just listen to criticism.

But I also couldn't really do that when I was trying to hold you accountable because it's conflicting. So sorry if I did this kinda shitty in a way that's it harder for you than it had to. Because it's not like you are some villain. You are someone who is well liked and hurt someone's feelings because of how they appreciate your existance.

So I don't want you to feel like you are getting treated like a troll because you emotions are important too. And raddle would suck if anyone who makes mistakes just gets dragged while they are feeling bad. That doesn't help anyone.

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lettuceLeafer OP wrote

I think memes do have draw backs. Though I think it would be funny to validate getting ones thoughts from memes. Being pro autonomy and doing anarchy isn't difficult or complex. You can do it well if you know very little.

Also a lot of concepts you can get a good understanding. Genuinely I think for people who aren't big readers memes are almost certainly better forms to gain understanding than books for people who are just ok at reading or have some sort of neurodivergence or disability that makes reading hard.

I think for a lot of people in an hour they will be wa better at implementing egoist practice into their life if they read good max stirner memes than if they tried to slog through the unique and it's property and even willful disobedience.

So I think from an accessibility standpoint memes portray a pretty decent grasp of knowledge in a far more accessable way. This isn true for everyone because there is no one size fits all accessibility

So I agree basically

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lettuceLeafer wrote

Reply to by !deleted30

Yeah this is fine. You did my request in intent so don't worry about non 24 hours.

All I really care about is that lurkers know your sorry and asterisms feels at least apologized to. And I regard these as the same metric. So if asterisms at least feels somewhat apologized to then I'll be good. And I don't hold grudges with people who aren't assholes all the time. So once that's done it's water under the bridge as far as I am concerned.

Let me clarify some things. I don't know if I did a great job at presenting the issue to you. Because honestly despite not being the target you wrote some of the most upsetting comments I've ever read in my entire life. What you wrote made me like 100 times more upset than the entire time clouds was harassing me.

So I think this wasn't because you were just being lazy. I was deeply invested in trying to be emotionally supportive and work through with asterism trying to work through really emotionally trying time. So I was someone attached to their well being.

So I would put a bunch of emotional labor into this in dms as well as in comments. And then you would come into these threads and then just be lazy and undoo all the work I did and make them upset and validate their exs abusive behavior. You did this multiple times at least for 3 days.

I think it took me a while to see your mistake because what you wrote in context was just so venomously pro abuse. (In context not intent). I honestly don't think you could have wrote more emotionally damaging comments than your wrote multiple times if you tried. Their literal purpose was to use a safe space that they were using to try and cope in their only support group might I ad and worm through their feels in a place where they were supported

You hijacked that space to do in result not intent massive victim blaming, validating the abusive behavior and just being hurtful to someone who is emotionally vulnerable.

Asterism thinks about trying to lie to make space so he can get some rare freee time where he doesnt have to worry about being degraded and yelled out. And you would come and write several paragraphs on why you think trying to get some free air from their person thumb is actually horrible and mysogynisric. Asterisms should be under their suvailance and demands at all times.

The basic reality of your words weren't offensive because you were being lazy. They turned anti abuse safe spaces into a way for you to be a loudmouth with mysandrisr goggles on to tight. You diverted a healing process and would try to turn it into a situation to soapbox and preach to asterism how their abuser was fucking right. And the latest comment you literally told them how their wife behavior which is unobjectably trying to control all their friends so the are in control of every friend asterisms has. You validated that beliefz put asterisms under the microscope and would demand of the to think about how the actually deserve to not have friends of their own.

And to be clear. If I the frequent arguer for fun who literally harassed on line and doesnt care say that you almost made me cry multiple times that should say something. Because I was only going to cry from watching the amount of harm you have caused.

I know you didn't mean it but I think what you did was on eo fthe most emotionally damaging things a mainstream raddle user has ever said. I literally wished you should leave and clouds would replace you because I think what you were saying would have been too far even for them.

Now that wasn't your point which is important and is why I don't expect more than a decent apology. Though I just wanted to make it clear now that I'm not super emotionally upset how upsetting your comments are.

If you were just being lazy and not paying attention I wouldn't have cared. You made it so asterisms had no space free from listening to how all the horrible behavior he experiences is valid and his fault.

Which wasn't your purpose but it doesnt make me feel better days ago when I read you comment I tried to distract myself so I don't just cry. And again this isn't about me I don't need or want an apology. I just bring it up because to try explain how much you probably hurt asterisms. And anyone watching your behavior.

Yeah that's it. And to be clear I don't think shit is about guilt or shame. Just own up to it we all make fucked up mistakes and you weren't even conious about it. I've conciously said a bunch of horrible hit over the years that I shouldn't have. You make it right with the people you hurt, you change and you get over it. I don't say this to hurt you.

I say this because I want shit back to normal and I was to be completely honest so there won't be long standing grudges and people can get over it. Though if I don't make sure to explain properly how upset people were they u still might be in the dark.

And I do care about you. I wouldn't have put all this time and energy into trying to make shit work. If I didn't like you or were mad at you I would have just swore and been rude to you to get you to leave. So all my writing had the purpose of trying to make amends between you to so everyone stays happy and people stick around.

I don't say this cuz I hate you. Even though it might feel like I said it to hurt you. I just say it so you can understand and things can go back to being chill and everyone is being respected.

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lettuceLeafer wrote (edited )

Styx deleted their account. And there are some new people who are a xious and delete their messages. Basically if someone deleted their comment or their account your notifications go away. That's the only care I know of

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lettuceLeafer OP wrote

No you are fine. I think all that has to happen is bloodrose come back. Acknowledges the hurt she caused and make a genuine apology. I don't think it had to be a big issues.

Maybe this might be due to English being your second language but bloodrose response is not an acceptable apology in everywhere I've went in the US. Basically to apologize you need to understand the harm you caused. But bloodrose apology was reflecting that she didn't understand because she said I apologize but I actually didn't cause as much harm as you are making it out to be.

So a good apology sounds like "oh I understand how severe the hurt I caused to you was. Considering your situation I truly regret the massive amount of hurt I caused you. I'm truly sorry for my actions". A big part of an apology being told is there is no but where the person defends themself.

And that's all there is to it really. Bloodrose just had to show she is genuinely sorry and put in some effort and consoling and showing to asterisms that she knows the severity of how much she hurt his feelings and made his horrible situation worse.

Now obviously it being on acident is important as if it was on purpose that would be a different issue. But it's irrelevant to the apology. Apologies are all about catering to the person you hurt. If you apologize but make it about yourself it's not an apology its defending your actions.

And I know bloodrose she is reasonable. That's why I told her to take a break. I know exactly how it is. When people call me out I feel terrible and wanna prove them wrong. I wait a bit and then I see my error and genuinely apologize.

I know bloodrose and she genuinely cares. I'm not too worried. I think she will come back genuinely apologize and I bet asterism will be okay with that. So it should be mostly problem solved.

I think our disagreements are with you maybe not getting the subtext of the apology. But our message is the same. I appreciate your comment. I'm glad you added.

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lettuceLeafer OP wrote

This is how to cover up shitty behavior 101. I'm trying to get accountability because asterisms was still upset. And was really upset by bloodrose comment. And they said that themself.

Your whole point in this thread is to minimize and reduce what bloodrose did and sweep asterisms feelings under the rug. Accountability isn't done if the person hurt doesn't feel apologized too, has to leave the site temporarily out of fear bloodrose will keep being shitty to them and felt that bloodrose apology was just another jab at the..

The idea that u give any shit about asterisms is nonsense because all you have done is try to make them feel like shit. And I'm glad they left because they would feel worse by your behavior.

If people delete their accounts because I make a big stink that victims of abuse don't feel safe to voice their hurt on raddle I hope people delete their accounts. If they don't like accountability I don't want them around.

I want a space where people who talk about abuse feel safe and protected and those who are rude to them, dismiss their concerns and can't even bother to apologize feel attacked. I want you to feenattack and victimized because in a fucking accountability thread your point was to fucking invalidate and shit on victims of abuse for speaking out about their feelings.

Don't pretend to be advocating for them when you aren't trying to make them feel better. You are just doing conservatism still. Pretend to care only so inconvenient voices shut up.

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lettuceLeafer OP wrote

And to be clear I didn't try to start a witch hunt initially. I was pretty fucking nice and patient. And bloodrose knows how much harm it can cause. So I figured. Oh bloodrose makes a genuinely apology thna we are done.

No she starts doing fucking manarchist whining making it all about her and how she actually is super nice and didn't doing anything. Oh and sorry I guess but I didnt do anything.

So she wasn't then, but she is now defending abuse because she knows what she did and is trying to cover it up. Then pissed me off even more because I gave her good fucking advice. Then she acts like. Snake and tries to resolve things in dms so no one see what's happens.

Which still doesn't solve the problem of people seeing what she did. Because she didn't even fucking bother to read what harm she caused. Because she apparently doesn't give a fuck.

Her comments aren't why I made this thread. I would have been cool with a comment that was a decent apology. But instead of apologizing she goes into full manarchist tantrum mode.

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lettuceLeafer OP wrote

This isn't the first time when people have genuine concerns that you call them overly emotional or da they are blowing things out of proportion. In fact you did that to defend blood roses when she was badjacketing anarchists and I kept my lips bopped by I liked bloodrose.

I mean Im not going to take you in good faith because you literally cheered on bloodrose advocating for prison after uvalde.

The idea that you would have any desire to actually meditate and not try to play defense for your idol bloodrose is laughable. You love to fucking blend idpol with victim blaming. Idol poll to attack person you don't like.

Then when you or someone you like is criticized it's your overreacting, you are just being ridiculous. And you get away with it cuz ur good enough at comoflaging it.

I hate talking to you because I always feel like you are trying to score points with whatever rhetoric you can muster. Because honestly I can't imagine in mediation trying to minimize people's feelings by saying it's an over reaction. It should have no fucking business on raddle. I can't imagine ever thinking that's an okay thing to say.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

On raddle there is allways a big spectacle where the person who has done harm goes

no I didn't do anything wrong. Everyone is overreacting

Until its this long as thread. A while passes, emotions chill, then a genuine conversation happens. I'm not going to interact with you until everyone has had time to cool off. I say a 24 hours minimum. And I DO NOT look favorably onto you that you tried to message asterism and go against my advice. Honestly I don't take it favorably that you tried to make your accountability process hidden. That has never been the case and you know that. So I'm going to take it in bad faith.

You need to be quiet and reflect for at least 24hrs. Then I'll talk. I ain't going to make a spectacle that hurts everyone that you have done harm so you can have a temper tantrum. Because humans are animals and when we feel slited we aren't reasonable. We need time to cool off.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

You are going to have to do better than that. You have spent a lot of effort playing defense for abuse. Saying I'm sorry where you both tried to minimize your harm to me by saying how you didn't mean it. Then in your non apology to asterism you literally won't even apologize. You just minimized your harm and covered up what you did under the guise of an apology.

You have genuinely hurt asterisms, and not just that I know there are other people who are being abused on this website who watched you defend abuse. And we don't know how much you hurt them. You could have been the deciding factor between one of them reaching out for support. You made raddle a not safe space for victims of abuse.

I think you should take a break, cool down and think about what you have done. Then write up a real apology to people on the site so they know you won't continue your behavior. I know from when you have called people out before you wouldn't accept this cop out, so I think its fair to hold you to the same standards you have helped make precedent. You have spent much much more time calling out people for less harmful behavior than you have put into your "apology". Honestly this comment counts as doubling down because its purpose is to not hold yourself accountable. Not apologize.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

/u/bloodrose

https://raddle.me/f/AsterismOvershares/149512/-/comment/264290

Wait it seems you actually do know. Soooo, is it incorrect of me to think that you are literally trying to justify abusers, trying to make their victim be socially isolated? you should know better.

I think it's best if you don't comment anymore.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

Hey, I wanted to check in. While I appreciate your takes on international conflicts an feminism I would like to let you know that asterisms has made several posts about how their wife is unobjectably abusive. So I wanted to make sure you had that context.

I wouldn't want there to be a big raddle drama in meta if it's just a case of you not reading some of asterisms many posts. I'm not mad or anything I just wanted to let you know so there doesn't end up being conflict that was unnecessary.

I honestly was really confused because with context your comments come off as something your wouldn't say. So I wanted to make sure you had full context.

To be clear not calling you out or anything. Just letting you know that you comments might be sending people who get abused a message you don't intend to be sending due to lack of info. Which is ok as people aren't expected to read all the posts on raddle.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

Honestly don't be so surprised. My parents lived in the same house and didn't get along most of the time. It happened more times than I can count that my mom just left with me and my brother. But my mom isn't your wife either.

Tho it wouldn't be a bad idea to have an idea of where to park to sleep in your car for the night.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

Life truly is a zero sum game. The more misery you have the more enjoyment I get from watching raddles telonoeva.

Yeah that sounds stressful as fuck. If you think that's what is best go for it. I wish you luck. I don't envy your position. Think of it as a challenge you are learning how to not be such a chicken. First it's being honest with your wife. Then it's doing more cool stuff cuz ur not such a chicken.

Tho genuine question have you considered that you might get kicked out of the house temporarily. I know if my mom got mad at my dad for criticizing her she would make him leave for the night. So idk if that's a normal thing. But maybe something to plan for. Tho maybe it wife wouldn't do that since u don't really have options or money for a have to stay.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

Yeah makes sense.

USA is just weird. Deadass 12 percent of the population of prisoners is over 55

https://daily.jstor.org/what-should-we-do-about-our-aging-prison-population/

I still remember when I was a kid I would be mad that prisons wouldn't let out dying prisoners to say their goodbyes to their family. And my dad told me they deserved it lol.

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