hunger

hunger wrote

when you care so much about people in general, you're making yourself constantly vulnerable to all of their remarks, their glances, their emotional state, etc. The most pro-social people i see are the rich.... and they keep themselves segregated from and mentally block out anyone doing poorly, and most people dont have the guts to tell them how fucked they are to their face. They're insulated. But for most people, you have to deal with fucked people being shitbags, and with normal people being so distant to you, and innumerable pains. If you stop caring for people as a whole, and look at people as fundamentally flawed, then you can really see them for what they are.

People dont exist to themselves how they exist to us. We should recognize and accept this. Behind their clothes, their face, and their eyes, there might be nothing going on, pure observation, or a single thought, etc. They have a personal mythos but theyre tired of it like you're probably tired of your social masks too. What you believe they believe about themselves is probably wrong. We should see people for what they are, by not seeing people anymore but animals, lonely, treated like work horses or show dogs, who can communicate and all have to construct themselves as a "person" in communication with others. If we see people for what they are, we can love individuals all the more.

The most misanthropic people i know are survivors of huge abuse. They were forced to care very very much about other people, because their life depended on it. Fuck people, they're shit, and i accept that every one of us, myself and my friends (who i love) too are shit and crazy and fucked up and really just animals behind it all. When you can see the flaws, you can judge on their own how you want to care. Most of the time the flaws dont matter to you so you can be like "that person is trouble so i should stay away", etc., and you can even love someone for all their flaws too.

When we care about people so much we have to put them in categories of good or bad, or "the neutral masses" maybe but we can't help but place them somewhere in our mind. When we regard people as insignificant, fucked up, etc. by default, we have no obligation to pay them any more heed than thinking about navigating them in the present, and we can have much more honest views of people that gives room for more compassion/forgiveness and also more room for understanding the flaws of those closest to us and ourselves.

3

hunger wrote

Reply to by EndlessAnarchy

your wounds will heal. they wont hurt anymore, but you'll still remember, and remember the hurt if you try. Time heals really well. And autonomy. The worst thing is the lack of autonomy, in your life and in your mind (and your emotions too).

Anti-civ is the shit.

3

hunger wrote

Reply to by !deleted31767

God was supposed to take care of me so I didn't take care of myself. God was supposed to direct me so I didn't direct myself. God was supposed heal and mend me so I didn't heal myself. and I could go on about all the things God was supposed to do that I neglected to do. and the realization, the day I stopped being a Christian, was that the only one who will ever look after my own interests is me. And that is a daunting, bleak, and isolating realization but it is also an empowering one.

It's the most empowering thing, power to you fam. Most people stay like children (especially when theyre taught to be like "sheep"), and never connect to their inner power, and instead keep their view of themselves as fundamentally powerless, when what we are fundamentally is the exact opposite, what am "I" but pure will? Everything else is separable from "me" but my pure will.

I worry that having no moral code will lead me to do something foolish

Thats a pretty good worry. I wonder why it'd matter though if you had no moral code, no foolishness should bother you ;P

Anyways you just gotta trust yourself, and not shame yourself, just be good to yourself with trust and even if you fuck something up and notice in retrospect, you can move on from there and know what not to do in the future. But for the most part, you know what to do.... Though anyways this is all just bland bullshit honestly. Anyone who can think though this shit themselves obviously gets it.

You're coming up against nihilism, after leaving solid and self-justifying values. Of course it turns out that self-justifying is another way to say "building a house as its own foundation" and is flimsy af. But anyways, a totally empty nihilism is also flimsy... it can't even support it's own lack of value with anything. Behind that nihilism though there was already a critical mind, and a mind which can accept change and progress in thoughts, and is honest about the findings. This is what's after the nihilism, and it's equally empty but its very realization implies certain duties (and faith), unlike those of christianity (blind faith and duty to external rules+judgement, versus "faith" the same way that when you put a cup with water to your lips you expect it to flow into your mouth, and "duty" in the sense of something which is inescapable except by repressing/regressing your knowledge, and gives you a guide for positive action)

I worry that I still think about the world in a Christian way just without a belief in God.

Lots of christians do, and its pretty sad... but if you stop seeing yourself as needing some Other to justify your actions and existence, you're free as far as i can tell. Thats the real test, i believe.

2

hunger wrote

Reply to comment by !deleted34530 in by !deleted34530

don't kids read crimethinc anymore? run away if you hate it so much. Prepare well. And be ready to enjoy a new hell. Really no matter what, its just hell and hell and hell. And its not even on fire right now....

anyways its very fucked, and i'm sorry for how you feel. I made an attempt at running away as a kid but got caught by the slave patrols and brought back, then told that my parents could charge me with being a runaway if they wanted. Pretty fucked lol. Literally property, and all pretense of "for your own good" gets lost in the face of the actual legal system. Anyways my point is just that your situation is exactly as monstrous as you think it is, and it only gets horrible in more insidious ways as you age and are expected to participate in your own oppression voluntarily. There's no way out. There's no underground resistance to join that can take you out of your life. If anything, the various resistances to capitalism that you'll find want you to remain within the system in order to have more power and money to help them with.... (who are they helping, then?).

But the soul is rebellious.... you'll find a way to stick it to the man :P and it'll help you endure for a bit, till you gain some power for yourself at least

(btw about being trans an needing medical infrastructure - you don't, unless you're currently totally broke and on your parents insurance or something or theyre paying for your shit. You can get all the same shit online, clearnet. The best/cheapest/most-ethical place to buy would be lena.kiev.ua - i thnk you can find her on reddit now too from a cursory search?)

2

hunger wrote

i see lots of ppl around in sweats, hoodie, beanie, and face mask

it makes identification pretty impossible (except for very hd cameras, if cops want to put the time in to match up your eyes only with the faces they have access too... probably not a big risk. Though if youre gonna rob a bank or blow something up its something to think about)

probably can just do it and leave, unless there's security right there watching you do it it'll take a minute for them to even catch on from snitches reporting it or seeing it on camera. ill try this shit n tell you how it goes....

1

hunger wrote

larger orders can definitely make a difference. I doubt that online returns are handled in any central way between companies, at least i havent heard about that. Try it and tell us though.

The only thing it might make hard is if you have to file a police report for a return (of high value) and they start wondering why you keep having stuff go "missing", only you in the neighborhood.

1

hunger wrote

ive thought about this a bit and my answer so far is: no solutions

sometimes you'll happen upon cool people. Even rarer, you'll happen upon cool and lonely people like yourself. That's an opportunity for friendship. I really dont know any other way than accident, and meeting people online but its hella hit or miss

there's no big philosophical solution or anything. You're invisible in general as a criminalized person, and want to remain invisible too to avoid bad shit anyways. This doesnt make it easy to find people who you can be around and enjoy. That's the fundamental structure of the situation. Though if you're an ethnic minority or something visible like that, then i guess look for people who look like you, you probably share at least that one struggle in common. But still no guarantee of finding anyone cool...

Also this isn't totally related, only in form, but look up attachment types, there's a similar idea of "want to interact with people but scared of interacting with people" within fearful-avoidant type. Though the typical answers revolve around "how to start trusting people", which is fucking ridiculous since it totally dismisses any real risks that there may be in trusting people. So the other side is that you learn how to not need to trust people, also in order to not be fearful to be able to interact with people.

good luck

3

hunger wrote

ive tried and failed. It really depends on where you live. Where I'm located right now, thats not even a thing. The richest areas have no grocery stores other than mega-stores like target and walmart that use trash compactors for everything. So i just steal from them.

In areas of less advanced economic war, there's some dumpsters with shit but its still rare to find one without a padlock. Ive tried picking the locks or shimming them to not any luck really. Skills take time i guess. Anyways next locked dumpster i find im just gonna steal bolt cutters and use them to break the shackle if i can. Maybe. Most these days are those super hard boron shackles, and lots of places are using the masterlock M5 now with the hex shackle cause its cheap and strong. Ive tried a bolt cutter on those and it definitely doesnt work... (though only 4 or 5 pins depending on size, and ive picked one so its def not even noobproof)

anyways, if you have more info, especially personal and recent info on dumpster diving, i would really love it. Cause right now my only ways to get food are donations and theft. Bout to just start smash and grabbing every single store idk. Im pissed. More and more places have more and more anti-shoplift stuff, and more and more anti-dumpstering shit. I tried a trader joes and turns out their dumpsters only have cardboard, but a security came out and told me to leave anyways lol.

Peaceful solutions are drying up. The idea from the 90s that this is an era of abundance and you can easily leech off the system's waste is (or aught to be) dead. Only option now is unpeaceful solutions :(

id love help though, i want to prolong my freedom from incarceration as long as i can

1

hunger wrote

thoughts: im broke fuck buying anything at target. 90% of stuff here is how to get a 20% discount on things you didnt need to buy in the first place, and then people downvote or overlook ways to make money (nice trick tho, fr)

1

hunger wrote

Reply to comment by !deleted31767 in by !deleted31767

not just private police, but "community policing", which threatens to be much more insidious. Neighborhood watch everywhere, cops in plain clothes so they dont frighten you, all citizens prompted to call in any suspicious behavior, etc.

Fascism on both sides, but anyways, beware the liberal branded ones too... it's hot right now to shit on rent a cops, but libs will turn around and then advocate even more insidious policing methods. Especially when the demands are like "white cops that dont even live here are beating/killing/harassing us", it's a huge problem but prompts the solution "ok we'll have the biggest bootlickers from your neighborhood hired as cops instead, and you get to be beat by the same color :^)"

beware

2

hunger wrote

fuck that, cops killing crims sucks. At least they're out there causing havoc and undermining the smooth functioning of things. In their personal affairs and how they act internally, certainly they're shit most of the time besides rare explicitly anarchist groups, but that's a problem for the people within their organization who are put upon to deal with. Dialectics and shit.

Fuck cops and fuck cops

3

hunger wrote

This is a dumb idea. Your character would get caught in the real world (if anyone gave a shit or noticed) for a few reasons:

  1. always use cryptocurrency wallets over tor. Sometimes this is difficult to torify with torsocks, so go with whonix and you can expect no leaks and ease of use.
  2. BTC -> XMR -> cash out with localmonero. You could also change it back to BTC but there's no point in this day and age really...
  3. Additionally, host your own monero node (on whonix).

according to some recent boasting by a crypto transaction tracking company which helped take down some DNMs, about 60% of monero transactions can be tracked. But this in my view must just be that that number of people are using KYC or otherwise very watched/insecure/leaky platforms to do their transactions rather than doing it properly.

Also these days, BTC mixers do not really affect anything as far as tracking.

But, who knows where your character could even buy BTC with just c4H41/]4haf1`ChPt8?&Lc.... maybe you, I guess.

Also like others say, no you're not just defrauding banks. The people who own the cards may never get the money back. Banks suck, you know?

1

hunger wrote

idk about zappos but lots of places dont work well with tor surprisingly, some work just fine using firefox over whonix, when they block the tor browser

tor -> rdp should work in these cases but it feels so overcomplicated internet shit is the worst. Time consuming as shit to set this stuff up while being secure along the way

2

hunger wrote

Reply to comment by hunger in by EndlessAnarchy

i just realized i never answered the question

Ive never stolen anything of value from schools, just weird little things here and there (projector bulbs, books, tools, pens, random shit) opportunistically. But still i think overall theyre pretty good places to steal from since its not really their primary function, to look after shit. Their goal is teaching kids n keeping them in order.

5

hunger wrote

Reply to by EndlessAnarchy

you could pull a breaking bad and steal chem equipment... that shit's expensive and can be hard to get good stuff anon (sell to your local drug chemists :) )

it all depends on the school though, some are like prisons, but generally schools dont really think about security much, so u could probably get in when no one's around

idk good luck ig. Fuck schools. Dont get caught (dont get caught ON CAMERA too). Don't do anything too obvious while at school or ull get sent to maximum security school ;)

btw some school have been getting grants the last few years for buying tech bullshit like tablets and cheap laptops. So you could stock up on chromebooks, coreboot them n put a small slick linux distro and upsell to bougie privacy nerds, or take the ipads to sell on ebay or something. Really i dont know how well you can actually reset tablets though, they might be able to be shut down remotely. Ill let others answer on that. DYOR ofc.

happy pilfering

2

hunger wrote

I think this is always a revolving door situation, where we come in, we engage, maybe we burn out or maybe we find some answers, but either way we leave and want something new. So I'll first say that we would probably do best to build up our canon of knowledge and situate things in relation to each other, fully accepting of disagreement within our ideas and the works we stan, while not using that as a reason to say one is really anarchist and the other not. At any point in time, hopefully, we're learning and re-building our ideas and asking new questions and making new hypotheses. So I think it's totally fine to move in and out of this or that milleu/space/community, as suits everyone's needs, while still maintaining that thread of coherency throughout all works and groups which inspire us, that being a radical position and being against the current society in some way. So all this is to say that while we outgrow some conversations, others are just coming into them, and there's a time and place for all things.

Tired: critique of science in favor of irrationality/occult bullshit/whatever stupid alt/scene woo nonsense (which grows out of what I think to be a very important critique of Science or scientism) Vital: talking and sharing ways of embracing and enacting science/understanding as a process, without glorifying either "expert" testimony or personal/highly-subjective testimony

Tired: nihilism versus moralism Vital: critique of nihilism not from the perspective of a living being which has to make decisions, and trying to understand values that we hold (or which have a hold over us) rather than the comparatively simple denial/rejection of value (which at best is a starting point, at worst blinds us to reality which is that the values are still there haunting us)

Vital: What do we (or you, and I) want as anarchists, and how do we get it, keeping in mind that all current tactics have not yet proven themselves, and neither have most past ones. (the only reliable death of civilizations seems to be disease and ruining their local climate/soil/ecosystems - but maybe this is a partial history, and people's efforts were also very necessary?) - and then from "how do we get it" as strategy, to "how do we get it" as science/tactics-informed-by-experience

1

hunger wrote

Reply to comment by GoodOldWorkingClass in by !deleted33708

I'm disappointed that a place called /f/illegalism people think is only for saving money. IDK about euro money, but I've heard of good counterfeiters for USD from dread. Also you have it somewhat reversed - on clearnet, there's way more space for scammers since you get less knowledgeable people there and also you can make money without actually offering illegal products... which you wouldnt want to do on clearnet.

On "why do people sell money", it's basically a problem of logistics. It takes time to get clean+secure money out of "unstable" money. The point of counterfeit isnt that it's totally passable as money, it's that it's highly passable as money - and you want some business left holding it after you pay for something which you sell for real money, or break the counterfeit for change. Similar with carding and bank hacks even. You ultimately need a way to exfiltrate the value to a more secure/legitimate form. So a person can make money lots of money off of selling this unstable/raw value that needs to be interacted with more to secure it, without all the effort and cap based on time and heat level.

1