groovygardener42069

groovygardener42069 OP wrote

With regards to your last point - the people in my neighborhood who consistently have the bitchin'est gardens, and also I never see them actually out busting ass out in their gardens, are the people who preach native permaculture

But there is still some regard for native biodiversity in what I do :) I don't want to get too specific, but for example where I'm at bundleflower is a much better source of DMT than imported acacias, and sida cordifola is a much better source of ephedrine than trying to coax plants in the ephedra genus to grow in my area

The bees have really been loving my coleus and thai basil this summer, almost got my ass stung a couple times over it too

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

It's good to at least have a patch of stuff for bees and other pollinators :) I'm not sure what your mom's gardening style is but I've noticed a lot of people (I'm guilty of this too) spend a lot of time fretting over plants that are just miserable in their climate. If this sounds like her then maybe a beautiful native flower patch that requires minimal upkeep would help her rethink her choice of exotics vs. natives?

The ecological thing is a whole other issue, and I'm guilty of it too lol. I try to minimize my impact by keeping exotics in containers and not letting them spread

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

You're right. I also have a bad habit of getting myself worked up to a point where I've spent too much energy to put together a coherent apology. My focus at that point in time was less about actually apologizing in a productive way and more about extracting myself from the conversation, and even then that was less about saving face in the long term and more about avoiding the stress the conversation was causing me in the short term. Again, not really an excuse so much as a reason that I should be more aware of.

I also realized a couple days later that that article was probably written as part of a series of articles on each of the seven deadly sins. I didn't go back and check or anything, but it made sense given the overall perspective and tone of the piece. So in that context it makes sense and I'm willing to have a more nuanced discussion, but presented out of context it read to me as a celebration of something I personally view as inherently abusive (in the context of my relationships as I've experienced them -- looking back I understand that there's a complex web of social, financial, legal, medical, and other power dynamics that I personally have been privileged enough to not have to had experienced in my romantic relationships, that can all affect whether someone might choose adultery over what I called the "courageous thing").

So yeah, all in all I think this comes down to being more self-aware and slowing down when I get a strong reactive emotion.

But also I mean I think it's possible that there are just certain users on here that I'm just not going to have positive chemistry with, and I think that's okay?? Like I'm not everyone's cup of tea, and even if I was, some people prefer gin.

Lastly, if it's alright with u, let's put a pin on that other conversation, cause I'm about tapped out on it and I don't think I have much to add that hasn't already been said. If anything I've learned that the way I do relationships right now works really well for me right now, but that doesn't mean I need to project that onto anyone else. I appreciate that insight and I'll just leave with that

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

I dipped my toes into p severe alcoholism and I was -not- able to stay in control. I may have thought I was, but I was just deluding myself.

I have really bad childhood memories associated with my mother's alcoholism. I generally avoid drinking as much as possible bc of that. I know that I am able to control myself with booze for the most part, but there's that voice in the back of my head that reminds me it's in my DNA. Because of that I mainly use alcohol as a tool (one drink for mild social anxiety, maybe two if I need to get to sleep)

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

I have this thing where I know I would be in big trouble if I fucked around with amphetamines lol, so I don't.

Like I've definitely considered cooking up some shake n bake meth, just to have some stuff around, but I think that's kind of hitting a line I don't want to cross (in terms of being able to accidentally fuck up my health/property/freedom in the process since I'm not a part of that slice of the drug scene by any stretch of the imagination)

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

I'm kinda similar in some regards. I've done mdma at raves and stuff maybe a handful of times, but by and large I almost always use it at home, maybe with a friend but mostly by myself

I'm not above weak herbs, especially if i can put it in a salad or something when I'm not making tea with it. I'll still look into it!

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

Also, I think part of the thing with cannabis is that it's still illegal here. I think that really plays into the "breaking the ice" factor in smoking with new people a lot, because you're kind of sharing in a secret ritual. Sometimes I wonder how that will change once it inevitably becomes legal in my state

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

Coffee's an interesting one, but where I live there's such a huge coffee culture. Oh hey, let's meet up? Cool, there's a coffee spot near my place. If I have guests over, I always offer coffee, and waking up early to bring my wife coffee in bed is one of those little things I know to do to show her I care.

I can't really snort anything :( I mean, I could but my ENT that I have to see because of chronic sinus issues probably wouldn't be very happy with me

I have this thing where I really like kratom, but I don't have any friends who do, so I'm just you know drinkin' kratom by my lonesome. The kratom scene is kind of weird, a real mixed bag but I have a theory that fash actively recruit in kratom bars and whatnot because disillusioned youth (such as people recovering from opioid addiction) are easy targets.

Never had ashwaghanda, though I'll say I have a hard time understanding what it's supposed to be good for?? I've been considering adding it to the garden but honestly I'm starting to worry about space so I need to be a little more considerate of my real estate out there for new plants

Kava - same with kratom, except I don't like using it as much as kratom. sometimes I'll have kava to potentiate kratom

Tobacco - for some reason I really like tobacco with cannabis. I don't smoke straight up cigarettes but a doobie doesn't feel right without a lil tobacco for me. I feel like it really evens my keel

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

Cannabis - super important for relationship-building, but not necessary. I feel like I would never have gotten as close to my dad as we did if he had never asked to smoke a joint with me all those years ago. I feel like similar to mdma, but obv much less intense, it allows people from different perspectives to let their guard down and open up to why they feel the way they do. It's a really great social equalizer but I try my best not to put off those of my friends who don't smoke

-Idk what that second one is

-Opiates - I almost always take those alone. Maybe that'll change after I get my first big poppy harvest. But bc I know how addictive they can be I don't maintain connections with consistent sources of pills, and I only ever have enough to fix the problem I have at any given time for the short term

I'm gonna skip the others cause they're not plants :p I will say though that I have never done DXM recreationally but have considered ordering DXM powder from alibaba lmao that shit is so cheap

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

I don't mind the long intro, it's important to understand one's relationship with themselve's in order to understand what they mean in discussing their relationship with substances or other people

I relate to a lot of this, except with much different tendencies and outcomes throughout my life. I also am hi every single gd day of my life, but mainly on weed

I found that with alcohol I have to really regulate my use to the point where it becomes more of a burden than it otherwise would for most. It's really hard for me to have just one, so I try to save like a really nice bottle for special occasions, or for a nightcap at a time where it's early enough to finish a drink but late enough to not have any more. My wife is less into getting high on things other than weed, so she has a more mainstream relationship with alcohol and stress/anxiety management, but she is still very healthy about it. Sometimes she likes to have one drink before sex as a way to release tension related to sex and ptsd, but that's not very often and not as much lately even then

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

I'd say psychedelics are real good for hangups, but MDMA (obv not a plant) is best for addressing straight up trauma. I hear mescaline cacti are the closest plant alkaloid profile to MDMA, but I've never tried it tbh

Sometimes the worst trips can still be therapeutic though. The good ones can show you what happens when you let go, and the bad ones can show you what happens when you refuse to let go. With the right mindset you can learn from either of those experiences, I think

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

I'm glad you brought up the assuming people's gender thing. I didn't know if it was a good idea to make a separate thread or not because it's honestly kinda silly.

So, when that person called me out, I realized I -did- say something that was transphobic. I looked at their profile and saw they listed their pronouns and I felt kinda crappy about that. It made me realize I needed to take a step back from the conversation and cool off a bit.

So what did I do? I apologized for assuming someone's gender, like actually sincerely.

And I was kinda like, whoa, why are they getting madder, right? What is being projected onto me? (accusatory mindset)

But then about 2 days later after I had given myself some time to focus on other stuff, it dawned on me: "I apologize for assuming your gender" is a fucking alt-right meme. I didn't make that connection and once I did it made perfect sense why someone would think I'm being a sarcastic asshole. 99.9% of any context in which that phrase would be used online would be shitty.

Anyway I wanted to get that, specifically, out of the way and clear the air because it was an absolutely shitty thing to say, but I wasn't trying to be malicious the way it came across.

The rest of your post is really long and I'm still afterglowin' from those truffles so I'll respond to the rest later on :) thanks for providing a thoughtful response

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groovygardener42069 wrote

I drank some truffle tea after work and it made me realize I really need to take a week off sometime soon. Fuck that chasing after the long weekend bullshit. I have some indoor plants that I just started recently so it'll have to be in 3-4 months, but that honestly sounds like good timing. Get it out of the way before the holidays when it's cheaper to travel (if traveling is on the table at that point, I guess we'll see how this whole herd immunity thing goes a few covid variants down the line) and then use work as an excuse to avoid family during the holidays. Win/win

I recently got over a 900-day streak on Duolingo. Mais je suis en train de regarder la programme <<Family Business>> sur Netflix, et je ne peux pas comprendre le plus de la dialogue!

It's a pretty good show if you haven't seen it.

Got some seeds that I'm excited to get started, some sida cordifola (contains ephedrine, just want to have something for a stimulating buzz that's not necessarily caffeine) and ololiuqui. Not sure if I'm gonna eat the seeds once they flower (eh who am I kidding) but since morning glories were so important in making me the person and gardener I am today, it just felt right. I'm starting to think a trellis wall with morning glory, passionflower, ololiuqui, caapi and aya might be a fun little project

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

Upbeat dancejazz with live ensemble instrumentation can be real hit or miss, but you get the right percussion section and it slaps all day, man

I have this thing sometimes where I can have a hard time sitting still, so some of the more avant garde stuff is a little lost on me. I still listen to it, but not nearly as much as all my Herbie Hancock

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groovygardener42069 OP wrote

I recognize (most) of those names, I'll have to check out the others. Really love late 90s Ninja Tune and Pork Records stuff. Somehow I always have good luck finding it at flea markets

A little on the housier side (there's some more downtempo too) but Toko records is absolutely a hidden gem, almost all bangers

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