gracklegrackle

gracklegrackle wrote

Can I ask why you think we should feel bad for walmart managers? I find this incredibly hard to believe and am struggling to find and sort of data or information about walmart workers being terminated all because of some consistent shoplifting.

Also, your posting history just seems to be you shaming others for not lifting how you do. Its a lot of hot air about how you believe X or Y isn't good because of some flimsy morals.

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gracklegrackle wrote

I can't stop making Joe Mama/Deez Nuts jokes, I've been getting more elaborate with them, and everybody close to me is getting pissed off about it. A select few of the Real Ones having been joining in with me though.

I started school! Almost a decade after barely graduating high school! Ngl, I'm excited. I'm hoping it will bring stability after a loooong time of being on and off the streets/in and out of rehabs/in and out of psych wards. Although, maybe I'm just falling for the conventional society myth or something. Who knows, I don't care.

I miss the infoshop that I poured a ton of time and energy into, curating books and generally taking care of. It was a home to me. It's still there, I just moved very far away from it.

Overall, things are kinda looking up. I'm not beaming with hope or anything, but I feel content and have been washed over by a happiness that isn't the usual mania, but rather a silent joy. Still broke as shit which is stressful, but that should be figured out in the next month or two.

Oh! And I got down some tough 3-ball juggling patterns I had been struggling with for months.

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gracklegrackle wrote

Reply to comment by !deleted31767 in Friday Free Talk by kinshavo

I'm so so sorry that's been happening, that's extremely frustrating :( Fuck capitalism and all the other bullshit, forcing you to choose between work or having yr kid stay with neglectful old jerks who aren't good to her. I hope it gets sorted out.

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gracklegrackle wrote

Reply to comment by moonlune in by !deleted31467

This is so good! Aw it's been a minute since I listened to witch house, I'm gonna spend this rainy cleaning day with a CRIM3S album to get me energized

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gracklegrackle wrote

Absolutely, as you said it's a very delicate topic (for most) and full of complexities. It's hard to discuss, in my experience, as I feel like a majority of anarchists and leftists I've spoken with are engaged in an intense, rigid binary of "If you call people out then you're no different than the police!" or "You deserved to be called out and socially ostracized!". I'm excited to see a growing number of anarchists walking away from something so harshly axiomatic.

What parts of the debate specifically? I've never really watched it all the way through, maybe it's about time. I think it's hilarious that Foucault was baked out of his mind during it. Also, I just read the other, I've been on a big Enzo Martucci kick lately! I've actually preparing to record readings of four pieces by him for a newer anarchist/post-left theory/writing youtube channel. He's great

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gracklegrackle wrote

I just finished this absolute UNIT of a book about 3 days ago, and I've been itching to talk about it. It had a pretty big impact on me and I'm still trying to articulate what that looks like. Have you read it? What'd you think?

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gracklegrackle wrote

For sure! We absolutely take those things for granted, essentially living outside for large parts of my life has made me realize that exposure-related dangers are NO fucking joke.

The triggers are tough to deal with, and I completely understand what you mean when you say those things never really leave. It’s certainly like a ghost haunting you… But here’s to mitigating them and being able to recover from that! I’m glad you have means and methods of coping with that, and I don’t blame you- even beyond your experience, cars are fucking scary

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gracklegrackle wrote

Reply to comment by _caspar_ in friday freetalk by zoom_zip

This is fucking amazing, for real. Wow, did you do art for all these? They're beautiful! Def gonna share this with friends. I've been slowly practicing hand-done bookbinding, maybe I'll practice with some of these!

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gracklegrackle wrote

Reply to comment by lettuceLeafer in by !deleted8445

Absolutely! I definitely agree. My therapist is wonderful, and also is an anarchist and blends it all perfectly. As somebody who has a lot of trauma with mental health professionals, I've never felt so comfortable up until now with my current therapist.

It's really cool to hear those are all things that you're actively working through, that's fucking awesome. The last line in your comment resonated with me deeply, and you put it beautifully.

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gracklegrackle wrote (edited )

My NDEs have changed me in very, very intense ways. I still start panicking sometimes if I'm caught in a rainstorm without any waterproof jacket. It's a lot better, but there are still small and strange things I do that I don't even think about but they're most definitely influenced by traumas.

Edit: Also, thanks for sharing, that shit can be hard to talk about- healing is tought but you got this <3

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gracklegrackle wrote (edited )

Yes, I've had two, and strangely enough they were because of burning alive (kind of) and freezing alive.

I used to ride trains, I don't really much anymore but sometimes I'll still go on a short trip here and there. Anyways, there was this time I was riding through the midwest in late winter or early spring (I can't remember the exact month). I knew it was going to be cold, and I was prepared, but being the idiots we were, we did not bring any water proof gear. A freak snowstorm rolled in, which was alarming because the weather hadn't called for it at all, and it came down HARD. Lots of snow, but worse than that was torrential freezing rain. We were soaked to the bone in 20 degrees, and getting blasted by the wind that was knocking our temp down by probably 5 to 10 degrees. I remember we kept fading in and out of consciousness and the train didn't side out for 4 hours. We kept screaming at each other to stay awake, and I remember drifting off into dreams where somebody was showing me pictures of a sunny forest clearing with a rope swing, and I'd say "I want to go there" and the person showing the pictures would respond, "We can go there, just follow me." It was fucking terrifying. We eventually got off the second it stopped, and a friend (who I literally owe my fucking life to) drove 6 hours straight to pick us up in some small Indiana town.

The second near death experience I had was when I was extremely ill and got a fever, fell asleep outside during a summer day that was 101 degrees out, and woke up with a 105 fever (I think it was actually more like 104.9). Immediately went to the hospital, got hooked up to a saline drip and felt a lot better. Doctors said if I had stayed asleep out there for any longer, I really might've died- they say that all the time thought so who knows?

Edit: I should also say that I have some others but I don't feel super comfortable sharing them here, as they're some very traumatic things from childhood I'm still JUST learning how to talk about in therapy, and those have definitely influenced me the most in some deeply upsetting ways

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gracklegrackle wrote

Reply to comment by _caspar_ in friday freetalk by zoom_zip

I'll check out that episode, thanks! Did you like The Sacred Conspiracy? I'm now considering it getting it once I have money again. Contagion Press actually sent me Acephale for free, which is so so so nice.

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gracklegrackle wrote

I love asking people this question. I’m always interested to hear answers, especially because how religiously anti-civ belief will manifest.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate civilization and believe that it is a root of these systems of social and individual domination, but with that being said quite a bit of anti-civ or primitivism theory hinges on this very christian belief of returning to the garden of eden. Civilization is satan, and returning to a more “pure” and “natural” way of living is holiness. What the fuck even is “natural”? There are so, so many things that occur within nature that are extremely cruel, and personally they’re things that I’d like to avoid.

I think this is why I really am excited that a new-ish wave of anti-civ writers have come into the anarchist theory realm over the past decade, Bellamy Fitzpatrick for example, who have been challenging the older primitivists such as Zerzan or Tucker. I appreciate the all the authors who have come to engage in this sort of discourse and don’t believe one is better than the other, and I want to make that clear.

I don’t know, maybe I’m rambling, but it’s thoughts and questions I’ve had for a while now. I’ve really been trying to challenge my own beliefs and others as well in a manner that helps us grow, and I think discussing what civ even is really achieves that.

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gracklegrackle wrote

Reply to comment by lettuceLeafer in by !deleted8445

At one point in my life I wanted to be a therapist and then I realized how bleak it’d be to hear so many problems and think, “damn, sounds like all this repression and strife is inherently linked to capitalism and all the structures of social domination that have come before and will subsequently continue well after we’re dead. Maybe try journaling?”

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