Xylanthius

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Xylanthius wrote

It has to do with the psychology of habit. The whole reason why 12 step programs are proven to work is that they are based on the psychology of habit and creating new rituals. There is a trigger or cue, the response, and then the reward. There is one more aspect of why 12 step programs are proven to work, and it has to do with belief. When we see someone else doing something we believe we can, too. This is especially powerful in group settings and even more powerful if the nature of your addiction was social. For example: Drinking at a bar. My addiction was not very social, but I did benefit from learning about others succeed in recovery. I didn't, however, go to meetings, and my rituals and habit replacements are different than the 12 steps model.

It's much more challenging to quit something that permanently messes with the way we produce dopamine like the white stuff or opiates. With time and good health practices as well as mindfulness and proper habit therapy practices it can be overcome with patience.

Addiction is powerful because it is a play on how we produce dopamine because of certain cues and triggers. If we don't give in we feel really bad. If we are addicted to the big drugs it messes with that natural survival mechanism our species have adapted in order to survive.

Habit therapy works with the way we respond to triggers, as well as replacing destructive habits with healthy habits. Merely quitting is not effective. You have to replace the habit with another habit.

While a lot of research has gone into the topic of habit therapy, I don't think it is well known because it seems like capitalism relies on our obsession compulsive lack of control and dependency on dopamine fixes. I think consumerism plays on these habit-forming tendencies. Not only that, drugs are such a big market in this country.

We can all create our own recovery programs. The 12 step programs are based on the psychology of habit.

Groups are important when it comes to facilitating any kind of change whether it be internal or external/social change. The internet has brought this phenomenon to a whole new level. It's exciting the kinds of rapid change and awakening we are experiencing on this planet right now because of our ability to witness fellow rebels all over the world. It's cool that this website is around.

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Xylanthius wrote

We are not alone here. It's 30934589034x more helpful to listen to someone authentically talk about what they are going through because then we no longer feel alone. We are all going through similar struggles together generationally in many ways. Support groups are really powerful. I struggle with very similar issues. a lot of us do.

Self-sabotage is about as real as it gets in this society. A lot of us struggle with these feelings in our generation within this western society.

There is a lot of psychological theory behind procrastination and self-sabotage that are much deeper than superficial social stigmas. The guilt and shame that is faced by the individual who doesn't understand it can be paralyzing as well as reinforcing. You are not alone. I often read literature about these topics as well as watch psychological lectures on utube relating to it.

I like to imagine this community as an acceptable safe space and supportive environment to each other. I believe we are capable of this. It's obvious to me that we all have demons here. It's something that brings us all together in some way.

I often don't post on here because of how I have seen others get personally attacked because of their individual views which are their own personal opinions. I know for a fact that I am not the only one who feels that way and has felt that way as I have talked to others on this site of whom I will not name. It doesn't have to be that way though. Authenticity is my highest value. That is why I'm here..

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Xylanthius wrote (edited )

You sound like a narcissistic parent. Did you not get enough love as a child? It seems like you are projecting your mental health on others. Are you okay? I want to give you a hug..

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Xylanthius wrote

Oh, my.... I never thought of using THOSE kinds of sprouts on sandwiches!

I was just thinking of alfalfa sprouts! :-)

What a good idea!!!

I love vegan food. It's so creative.

Sometimes I make a lot of beans in a crock pot. Then after that I will put them in the food processor with other veggies and spices, and then I form them into balls and put them in a toaster oven. Sometimes I put them in the freezer for later, and when I'm ready to eat them I put them in the toaster before I eat them. I could form them into patties if I wanted to for sandwiches instead. Sometimes I wrap them in some leaves, and put hummus on them and eat them like a wrap with tomatoes.

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Xylanthius wrote

You should talk about that in the mental health sub. I think many people would be able to relate to these struggles. It's better than feeling alone and guilty/shameful. We are here to help each other out and support each other.

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Xylanthius wrote

Who is "we?" Who are you speaking for?

Are you saying that by making multiple accounts that he really hurt Emma and "others" because he was being cruel? Was he acting as cruel as some of the people act on this site on a normal day? Was he acting even a fraction as cruel as people act towards him ten times over?

When you say we, you are not speaking for every user on the site. I know this for a fact.

I don't think what he did was intentionally meant to hurt Emma. Emma was and is his friend. I believe that when he was aware that what he did was hurtful, he made a good effort to make amends as well as apologize not only to Emma but to others on the site. I think that if we all put a fraction of the effort we put into scapegoating Ziq into making the site better we would not be in this predicament.

I think that we could all be apologizing to ziq if he chose to take any of the things said to him as personal attacks. There have been many hurtful personal attacks towards Ziq. Things have been said to him that would have made me very confused, hurt, and angry. It is apparent to me with him gone the amount of effort he has put into the site. He makes a huge contribution. If I were him I don't even know if I would want to come back to the site after how the site has treated him. However, he is a person who is acutely focused on his values which is how this site came into existence in the first place.

Ziq is reliable, and when he says he is going to do something he follows through on it. If he does something he thinks may have hurt someone, he thinks about it within the terms of what HE did wrong, and what he could have done differently.

There is no reason to scapegoat him. I think that we can move forward from here.

I know for a fact that I am not the only one within this community who believes in Ziq. However, I also know that many don't want to take a stand or make a statement because they are afraid of the vitriol they may face from other users in response.

That is not good you guys if there are people in the community afraid of speaking their mind because they are afraid of getting personally attacked and stalked because of their beliefs. I think that is even worse than creating multiple accounts.

The only thing that bothers me about the multiple accounts thing is that I feel like we should feel like we have a safe space where we can be our authentic selves without fear being stalked or attacked. I would be surprised if Ziq would even want to come back and contribute again like he was before after all of that. If he would then that simply proves his dedication to his values which have been the foundation upon why this site was built in the first place. This man has a full-time job, a life, a family, a wife, hobbies, talents, and visions. Beings depend on him. He's a dedicated being. There is much more evidence being that he is a reliable person than not.