Stuckinthecity wrote

It’s been a long fucking few months.

TW: Suicide mention, yelling

The person who is incredibly triggering to my mental health is back under the same roof as me. All because my caretaker doesn’t want him to be homeless...because the people he lived with before can’t stand him, all the while pretending to be cool with him. (She promised he’d be gone over a month ago and now look. He’s still here.) This man and my shitstain of a father nearly made me kill myself about five/six years back and everyone, including a therapist I stopped going to, just expects me to pretend like I like them because—I don’t know. I’m not going to theorize their reasons. They have barely done anything to help me mentally and they just basically say ‘get over it and move on.’ I WISH I FUCKING COULD YOU ASSHOLES. I REALLY WISH I COULD.

I trusted these people with my life. I loved them so much only to figure they’re the worst kinds of people: enablers. It hurts seeing these shitty, grown ass men being coddled while I’m half their age and basically suffering in silence because no one can be bothered to pick up a book on misogyny.

Now, my caretaker is stuck paying for another car, because another man she coddles wrecked her old one (that she promised to give to me.) The shitstain’s moving process is now on the back burner and I’m just fucked. I have nowhere else to go. My father is the only one with a stable income but I would literally kill myself before staying with him ever again.

So many people in my life who I want to love and trust just keeping letting me down. Fuck these people and their shitty, precious boys. They can all fucking bite a bullet.


Stuckinthecity wrote (edited )

Actual police forces anatagonizing black communities: I sleep

Some random school suspending racist assholes: REAL SHIT

On a side note, can we stop using the word policing if it doesn’t actually reference, you know, the police? This crap -freeze peaches- is the only time I see the word used negatively.


Stuckinthecity wrote

Why are people like this? What the actual fuck makes a person go yeah, I’ll waste hours of my life harrassing and traumatizing people it’ll be great??? How shit does your life have to be?


Stuckinthecity OP wrote

I actually did sort of fast a bit a day ago but I just got too hungry. I’ve never heard of the lemon syrup combo. Do I have to buy the pepper too or is it active in store brought maple?

We do have cider vinegar so that checks out.

Rest assured that I will look into all of this. I still need to improve my diet either way and all of this helps immensely. Cheers!


Stuckinthecity OP wrote

Frozen is definitely an option. The few grocery stores here do have them and actually some fresh produce, mostly fruit. I try the fresh stuff, but the hardest part is being consistent. My diet was pretty all over the place growing up and that hasn’t changed much.

Is canned stuff no good? She loves buying canned veggies and fruit. No way to salvage them?


Stuckinthecity OP wrote (edited )

My evacs have been a lot less frequent and I wondered about that.

I hope I don’t sound like I’m making excuses, but it’s actually hard to cut fried food right now since I’m living under someone else financially. They usually buy that and little else. I’ll try to search around the stores for less fried stuff for myself though, since they’e pretty accommodating.


Reply to by sunyata

Stuckinthecity wrote

ISIS is absolute shit, but Nazis are on a whole different level in terms of dangerous ideology. Mostly because people and society recognizes ISIS for the threat that it is. Nazis? Nah, we’d rather die than put them as a bigger priority.

I’m not surprised in the slightest that it took the FBI so fucking long to call them terrorists btw.


Reply to Friday Free Talk by vMU9

Stuckinthecity wrote

Hey, can we as a society, stop putting down people for having emotions? I’m one of those and I don’t appreciate this slander.


Stuckinthecity wrote

I’m not indigenous personally, but I feel compelled to speak out and share my experiences a bit. Take it at face value and if you can try to talk to people in specific areas and find where the biggest issues are, and use that as a jumping off point to direct action. Doing that will do more than voting ever can.

So, I live in a Democratic city in the Deepish South and am a brown POC. This is where a lot of us are forced to move because living in majority white, usually Republican areas are often not possible, preferable or flat out dangerous. Big cities are better in the sense that you will rarely ever see white people, but subsequently these places are much much poorer and everything is just generally worsened with our lives. Infrastructure where I live is a huge thing and usually manifests in large expressways and constant car usage because simply walking possible. This is only one part of the mess though, and I am going to be blunt on this next part; These cities are not run by people who care. They want to make a paycheck and coast off life at the expense of others. I don’t even know their names very well because they don’t give two shits about reaching out to younger demographics. They really don’t care about the youth, and it shows with how much shame and blame is pushed onto young adults “committing crime” and essentially no one else. Substance abuse (which is also a big thing here), trafficking, police brutality, littering you name it. Some random black child made your life terrible, not the wannabe rich politicians who are earning money and not even thinking of using their power for good. Most people here often buy into this—usually subconsciously— and as a result our community is a fucking joke. Black communities are all different and all run on different threads but we have a lot of the stereotypical black issues here and it really shows.

I’m going to have to jump straight to how this affects voter turnout and voting as a whole, but obviously there’s more to it than this paragraph. Let’s just say this shaming leads to low turnout, heaven forbid, and we’re blamed for that too. It has made the average view on voting justifiably cynical and is only used to shut up older family members. There is a divide in older and younger black views when it comes to social justice, but that’s a discussion for another day. Don’t let all of this cover up for an important fact, which is the people running our city desperately need to be drug out into the street and forced to give up every cent they own to help the sick and the poor or be shot for crimes against humanity. It will never happen though, because here anything within an inch of violent but ultimately fair retribution is “living up to black stereotypes” or whatever bullshit they’re peddling. Anyone who does is a put into the “violent black” box. It’s manipulation and twisting all violence into a negative, which is a massive part of White American Liberalism. Even if our community didn’t believe this and became a BP faction, we’d still have to grapple with the state and the believers of state tactics.

This was long and hard to string together, but I hope it gives you a new perspective.


Stuckinthecity wrote

This video made me understand SOME things a bit better. I still just see cancel culture (as it currently exists) as concern trolling and harassment and we need to condemn that shit. It can never really be said enough imo. Contra should be questioned on the things she says and does, not who she is. I agreed with that part 100%. The internet dogpiles a lot, and we can’t deny that either. It just happened to latch onto a valid idea.

Having said that, I don’t feel like this video is helping entirely. Maybe my circles just aren’t the same ones in the video, but where I sat, it was mostly about how her thoughtless tweets could enable worse people. People take clueless white celebrities’ voices way too fucking seriously, and often act out on it because we elevate those voices so high. That ties into accountability, right? It also ties into how we view idols too. The BA shit and how she basically sidestepped his shitty behavior definitely rubbed me the wrong way also.

Ehh. Idk. This post is disjointed. I haven’t really been in too many explicitly lgbtq circles I admit, so maybe there’s more to this, but it felt like the more valid criticisms were barely addressed.