OmonomOS wrote

every day.

due to having a highly associative brain/readily firing neurons, i often get unprovoked recollections of something harmful/shameful i did, and then immediately a handful of other events, sometimes in high detail with a lot of the same emotions i felt at the time.

on bad days, my brain will iterate through every shameful event and regretted action in my life in rapid succession at me. it ranges from minor faux pas to things that really harmed people, or deaths. and because of the high-association potential, the bad feelings of all these events mix together until every single memory feels all the same types and amounts of bad as all the other memories.

this leads to some weird staring contests between me and my mug of coffee that i just poured orange juice into, concluding with me whispering to myself, "...I'm sorry I did this to you."