Comments

6

Newt wrote

I used to lift because I was depressed and pissed off about life.

I mostly lift stuff that I need. Once in a while, I'll lift something extra if I'm in a shitty mood. But I try to keep that to a minimum. The fewer times you lift, the less your chances of being caught. I'm not saying anything against lifting, just that I like to be cautious.

Reply to LP Bribery by /u/Trustwh0m

4

Newt wrote

I doubt they'd take a bribe, anyway. They're too busy thinking they're the heroes of the world, even as they sit idly by and watch a parent beat the crap out of her kid. But don't steal that toothbrush!

Reply to comment by /u/sudo in Former Target LP/AP by /u/falcons

-1

Newt wrote

Well, when my hand pain flares up, I do "fiddle with" things in the freezer. It's called trying to get a grip on the damned thing so I can pull it out and put it in my cart.

Hell, when I go to Walmart, I see lots of people screwing around in the freezers seemingly forever. If all these people were "definitely suspicious", everybody and his fucking brother would be accused of shoplifting.

3

Newt wrote

LOL @ the mental image of you tearing ass around the house, hiding all that furniture.

I had a similar, but less impressive, situation with OfficeMax delivering my order twice. I called them to explain what had happened, and they told me to keep the stuff because it would cost them more to send someone so far to pick it up, than the order was worth.

Reply to comment by /u/falcons in Former Target LP/AP by /u/falcons

-1

Newt wrote

Pretty ironic, that Target invests so much money into catching shoplifters, yet they don't lift a finger to use all this equipment to protect shoppers. I stopped shopping at Target years ago, because I got sick of watching the employees sit with their thumbs up their asses while insane mothers beat their kids. I once got so fed up with it, that I called Corporate about it, and they just mumbled some bullshit about being sorry that I was upset. I told them I wasn't the person they should worry about, it's the kid with the black eye that should concern them. I've never shopped there since.

Reply to comment by /u/falcons in Former Target LP/AP by /u/falcons

-1

Newt wrote

Well, yeah, people do "fiddle around" when selecting groceries. It's called reading the nutrition labels, or comparison price shopping.

It never fails to amaze me, the stupid shit that LP views as suspicious.

2

Newt wrote

Target has god-tier LP, so don't fuck with them. Learn from your mistake, and try a place with shittier LP. Good luck.

1

Newt wrote

Just be sure to return the original item with the original receipt, and keep the stolen one. That way, all the numbers will match.

5

Newt wrote

  1. Wear a little bit of makeup to make yourself look older. Don't go overboard and look like a clown, though.

  2. Wear a long, loose shirt over your pants. No T-shirts with slogans, because that makes people look at you to read the slogan, and makes you memorable. A solid color T-shirt is OK.

  3. Shove the item into your underwear in such a way that it won't fall out while you walk. Practice with similar-sized things at home until you get the trick down pat. Check mirrors to make sure the practice items you shove into your pants don't show.