Faolinbean wrote (edited )

I'm so sorry. I lost my mom, too. Grief is weird and comes in waves. Weed helps, but friends help more. Staying busy helps. You'll want to be numb but if you make a habit of dodging the grief it starts to poison you from the inside so lean on your friends and comrades when it's hard :(

I will be blunt, too. I have limited information on what to do now, because the situation is highly variable and I really only know about my situation. I'm in the US and there are certain things that can only be done by people who have the legal authority, did your mom designate anybody power of attorney, did she have a will? You'll want several copies of the death certificate if you have to cancel utilities and things. There are two kinds, you usually have to pay for copies and you don't need to pay for copies of both as most places don't require one with the cause on it. To close down bank accounts and utilities, mostly you just call them and explain and they will direct you what to do and where to send the certificate. If you had a family phone plan, download all your media and voicemails and stuff now.

My mom didn't have a lot of cash when she died and owed a lot in credit cards so I could either fraud my way into her account to get the money or get a court order to get it, in which case it would have to go through probate (ie creditors get first pick so this route for me didn't make sense, if your mom was in a better financial position you might make a different decision.) Again, US specific, but you can apply to social security for your death benefit, it's a small one time payment but for a parent it's owed to you. Don't make any big decisions for a while, like selling houses or cars. You may feel differently after the first shockwaves are gone. Don't let anybody rush you into having a service until you're ready.

You'll find comfort in weird places, and here is some I found in case you like it too

On Joy and Sorrow

Dirge Without Music

I don't really know what else is helpful so please feel free to ask if you have any questions that come up over time. Love to you from every corner of the universe as you go through this. You're not alone.


Faolinbean wrote (edited )

Okay so people say I'm white, and my gf is black. We work at the same company in a downstate area; blue lives matter shirts, gun culture shirts, and other crap are all present in the workplace, and the tv in the breakroom only plays fox news. (unless corporate is in town, then it's cnn for that day wtf)

So my gf wore a shirt today with a slogan like this and apparently white fee fees were hurt because she was pulled aside by a supervisor, told there had been multiple complaints, and that she couldn't wear it to work again.

She's been really upset. I don't know how to help her, and I don't want to burden her by asking her or making it about my feelings. For context, this isn't the first time something like this happened. A few months ago, my car battery died and she went out on her lunch to jump it. Security walked out to talk to her because they had reports of "suspicious activity."

We have ordered more shirts but that doesn't really fix this kind of injustice and I feel so powerless seeing her suffer. :( If anybody wants to share their experiences or have any ideas on how I can help I'd love to hear it


Faolinbean wrote

I think so. Before I had the vocabulary and knowledge of what anarchism was I thought I just had an attitude problem, because it felt like everybody else could cope and just accept hierarchical bullshit as 'the way it is' without complaint, but i couldn't. I felt alienated from all of society in a lot of ways I'm sure you all identify with and thought that there was something wrong with me as I didn't really fit in anywhere. My internal monologue was always just why are you like this

But then i started reading and it felt like oh, so thaaaaat's why I'm like this