Blackbeard

Blackbeard wrote

Reply to DAMAP by zoom_zip

Fair enough. I'll tell you something instead!

The bamboo I recently acquired grew 5 inches yesterday. I knew they grew fast, but it was really impressive to actually experience.

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Blackbeard wrote

Reply to by !deleted30

I feel like part of it is just a set way of thinking based on how things have always been. Like people who have only ever had ice cream for dessert. The want something different, so they try a different flavor. You say you don't like the ice cream, so they ask what flavor you'd rather have instead. They never considered you'd rather have pie, or you hate dessert all together.
Weird analogy maybe, but I've got some ice cream with cone pieces and a chocolate swirl in the freezer calling my name 😋

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Blackbeard wrote

Reply to by !deleted2159

Finally, this year I'm actually consistent about it. I started running, training to run a 12K (it helps when I have something tangible to work towards), so I've starting doing sprints, which are a great full body workout, and longer distance running. I'm also trying to be able to do 20 consecutive push-ups, and I'm up to 12 right now (up from 3). I started doing a minimum of 4 push-ups every time I use the bathroom, and on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I try to add 1 more to last week's maximum- so next week I will be doing 13, the following week 14, etc. up to 20. It's only been about 2 months, so hopefully it will stick.

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Blackbeard wrote

I really want to try more psychedelics- I've only ever tried mushrooms and absolutely loved it.

I'm in school, working on earning my teaching credential and I really don't know if that's something I want to do. Somedays it seems fine, other days I just don't see how I can stand to do it year after year. Or any one thing year after year for that matter.

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Blackbeard wrote

I'm a real overthinker, so this sounds like familiar territory. I have the occasional existential crises when I lose sight of where I'm headed in life. I find that if I follow my desires, and keep an eye on shorter term goals, I feel much better.

Try your best to do the things you want, without dwelling too hard on doing it the 'right' way, or 'anarchist' way, or what have you. Most anarchists have pretty solidly established principles and ethics, and I find it easier and less stressful if I trust myself to do what I feel is right. Also, not every project has to be explicitly anarchist- that's one I have to remind myself of frequently.

Short term goals help me: what can I do today? What can I do this week/month/season. If I start trying too hard to figure out my whole future, I get really overwhelmed.

I feel like I was pretty long-winded here, but I hope part of it helps. Hang in there, take some time to walk in nature, and breathe deeply for a while and I'm confident you will find some clarity soon 🙂.

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Blackbeard wrote

Yeah, I've definitely seen the blank stare in my kid's eyes when I tell them Yes, that person is fat, and there's nothing at all wrong with that, nor is 'fat' a word children shouldn't use, but please don't tell anyone they are fat, or point out that somebody is fat, it might make them feel bad, even though, again, there's absolutely nothing wrong with how a person looks. Clear as can be right?

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Blackbeard wrote

Reply to comment by An_Old_Big_Tree in by !deleted8217

Sounds like an awesome plan! I've just started trying to open a city wide tool library, which, as yet, I know very little about, so it's a slow start 🙂. At least I've got 10 years to make it happen this decade! Best wishes with your awesome perfect ideas!

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Blackbeard wrote

Reply to by !deleted30

Some real truth there. Parents cause so much stress for themselves and their children in this way. I know some parents who are so proud of how compliant/obedient their children are, and I feel like it's the result of a fear of negative consequences if they aren't. It's one thing for your child to be cooperative, and quite another to be obedient.

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Blackbeard wrote

Damn Ziq, mad respect! Thanks for sharing that, I found it quite inspiring. Stories like these help snap me out of the general fog I find myself in, going through the daily grind. It's great to have a reminder that there are people out there actually bucking the system in some significant ways and really making it work. Well done.

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Blackbeard wrote

Reply to by !deleted8445

I strongly recommend anything by Rosemary Gladstar, particularly her book Medicinal Herbs: A Beginner's Guide. It's easy to read, well laid out, and uses common, easy to find herbs. I am only in the beginning stages of setting up my medicinal garden myself, so that's the best advice I can offer at this point. Best of luck to you, it really is a wonderful thing to do!

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Blackbeard wrote

I suppose the difference is paying for the experience of having somebody sworn to secrecy, who helps people with those types of issues for a living, and has spend significant time studying psychology. Some people don't have somebody in their lives that will be that empathetic, smart person. Or, they have some issue that they're not comfortable sharing with somebody they know, and feel more comfortable with leaving the person after an hour and not seeing them until their next session.

Personally, I have always tried to find somebody in my life to share my experiences and feelings with, however weird or disturbing they might be, but I understand not everybody is comfortable doing that with their friends.

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Blackbeard wrote

I definitely have no regrets whatsoever. I have one child, who brings me a tremendous amount of joy daily. It is a bit of a challenge raising a child as an anarchist, and probably more challenging than for people who accept, and believe in, the current system. I do my best to stay out of their way when making decisions.

It's stressful because you're suddenly faced with the reality of your political lifestyle- whether you like it or not, you are now the authority in this person's life. I stay away from creating rules for them, and instead focus on teaching them our family's values- things like respect for nature and its inhabitants, love for all people, cooperation rather than competition, generosity, etc.

It's a constant test of my patience, and I'm an exceptionally patient person. I think that much is true of any parent really. But, it's hard being constantly challenged by a person who can barely wipe their own ass yet, and can't get the hang of putting shoes on the correct feet. You will have your ideas challenged constantly. They question "why" can be insanely irritating, and yet is probably the most important and reasonable question they will ask. You will be asked to explain some really deep shit in an effort to explain why we do some of the most basic and mundane tasks. It's great though, because I've spent the last couple decades going through the motions and just accepting things as a given. "Why do I have to brush my teeth?" is a fairly simple answer. "Why can't I jump on the couch?" can become a little more complex, especially as their ability to reason grows. Sometimes I feel like I spend 30 minutes explaining shit when all I wanted was for my child not to jump in the mud puddle before we have to go meet my in-laws for dinner. Why is it ok sometimes but not others?

Basically, imagine having to explain everything you do in your daily life to an alien, which little to no understanding of how the world works. Then, once they're in school, they now have multiple people giving them different ideas of how the world works, what their place is in it, and how they're supposed to behave. Stuff that's perfectly fine at home doesn't fly with grandma and grandpa, or with the teacher, or the babysitter, or in the library, etc. Then, explain why or why not, then answer a follow-up question, then another, then another. This is why I find it difficult as an anarchist- -there are times when I wish I could just say, "Because I said so," but my values as an anarchist keep me from doing that. So, instead, I end up giving sociology, psychology, physics, and history lessons all day.

It seems like a hassle, and a ton of work, and it can be, but when you see them being so completely themselves, and laying in the grass talking to a pillbug, or reflecting your values, it's an experience like nothing else in the world. Daily, I find myself filled with so much love, pride, and joy. And, you get to relive childhood! I spent my summer beating my body up on the slip n slide (soooo fucking sore the next day), running around the house dancing and singing to Rancid and Against Me!, playing games, laughing and yelling singing silly songs. It is by far the most challenging and the most rewarding thing I've done.

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Blackbeard wrote

I suppose it depends on whether we are talking about clinical psychology, or just the study of how the brain works. I know some people who have received a great deal of help from clinical psychology, but I'm not sure about psychiatry. I think once medication gets involved, things get much more complicated. I think so much is dependent on the person receiving treatment, and the person doing treatment. If you're trans, and the person treating you has no handle on that, or has a negative view of that, it's going to be bad. If you get somebody who specializes in gender dysphoria, it might be a different story.

Psychology itself, however, makes sense to me overall. I think it's reasonable to try to understand how our brains work, both for ourselves, for understanding others. Our brains do much automatic stuff without our realizing- grouping things and people, creating biases, overlooking important details, trying to make sense of a very complicated world. Understanding those things has helped me be more forgiving of myself and others, and has helped me recognize my own implicit biases. I think those sorts of things are beneficial.

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Blackbeard wrote

I read Abbie Hoffman's Steal This Book in high school, then all his other books. The ideas resonated with me, and I got hooked on the general anti-authoritarianism expressed throughout. I don't think it was until freshman year of college, however, that I actually began identifying as an anarchist. Nothing much changed, I just had a word to sum up most of my ideas and feelings.

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Blackbeard wrote

Reply to by !deleted8637

I think it depends on the mental health professional. I have wonderful, caring friends who work in the profession. See a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist- the former cannot prescribe medication, while the latter can, and typically does. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking help from a professional therapist. Many of them are very well intentioned, and are there primarily to listen, and help you work through your problems, rather than to lecture you/give you advice/tell you how to live. Like anything else, of course, you will want to do some research and reach out to potential professionals to see if they will be a good fit for you, and what you want to accomplish. Just be honest about where you're coming from and what you're experiencing, and what you expect from them. Also, if you do go the medication route, I have known people who have used antidepressants for just a little while to kind of get themselves out of a funk. It can be very hard to see clearly when you're depressed, and sometimes medication can help with that. This can be tricky, however, as some antidepressants have side effects such as suicidal thoughts, so again, do your research. I will second Mango's thoughts on weed and shrooms- more studies are finding significant benefits from microdosing psychedelics. Though, once again, be careful because if you do a strong dose and you're in a bad place mentally, you could have a bad experience.
It might sound silly, but you might also be able to gain a little clarity regarding your thoughts and feelings by taking the 16 Personalities test, which you can do online for free. I took it, and it was eerily accurate, and I felt a little reassured about who I am and how I work. Like you, I fucking hated school (though I was very intelligent and quite good at school), and I just wanted to be done. The thought of 4 years of college to get some bullshit scrap of paper saying I'm good enough by their standards really bummed me out.
I know that's quite a bit of information, but ultimately I'd say don't be afraid to seek out the help of a mental health professional, it's better than just struggling through it by yourself, but also don't feel like that's the only option out there. And, whatever you decide, research it and get all the info you can! And, if you ever need somebody to talk to who's sorta been there before, message me anytime :)

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Blackbeard wrote

I like this book already! Teaching kids "grit" is really in right now, and while I think that's a valuable trait, purposely creating difficult situations for kids is definitely the wrong way to go about it. Kids are going to experience enough trouble and challenges in their lives, and if you're supporting them and encouraging them to work through it, that's what's going to be important. I feel like that quote about setting them on fire sums up the whole argument pretty damn well.

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