AuroraAustralis

AuroraAustralis wrote

My understanding is that it could allow state AGs to sue over the content people post, which could obviously have a chilling effect of platforms just blocking queer content if some red state AG grandstands about it. Although I could also see blue state AGs pressuring platforms about hate speech and disinformation, especially about elections.

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AuroraAustralis OP wrote

Learning to at least live with, if not actually love your body is one of the challenges most women go through.

Do you ever have the thought that, if learning to live with your flaws is necessary, why did I even transition? Why didn't I just learn to live with being a guy? Is this even a thought that real trans women have? I wouldn't think so because they're women even if they can't access hrt or gender-affirming surgery. But I've had this thought the past couple of days. It makes me wonder if I'm working from the outside in rather than the inside out. Like I'm trying to make myself into a woman instead making the one inside more visible. I wonder if that's what I've been struggling with this entire time, I think you can see from my post history that I've struggled.

I don't know I guess it's hard for me to believe that I would have stuck with hrt for almost three years if this wasn't what I wanted. Maybe I'm just stuck in the weeds of my dysphoria and imposter syndrome right now.

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AuroraAustralis OP wrote

would not the point of sexuality be to like what you like as long as there's mutuality with your possible partners

This was always my perception, but (and I'll admit that maybe I'm deficient in correctly interpreting other people's meanings) my impression from the discourse I've seen on wlw subreddits is that that's not enough. If I were a cis woman I guess I would care less about being "male-minded" but as a trans woman it feels like something I need to fix. My worst nightmare is someone I'm in a relationship with telling me that being with me feels like being with a man.

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AuroraAustralis OP wrote

The time I spent living as a man does sometimes feel like a millstone around my neck, I could say that I'm afraid my brain has been marinating in testosterone for too long. But maybe it's a subconscious reappropriation of my religious upbringing, like being assigned male at birth is a kind of "original sin".

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AuroraAustralis OP wrote

I'm not sure what it would mean to have a "boy brain". My impression from this post would be to be more interested in cleavage and long legs than a more masc look (although I will emphasize that I like both equally). I mean I thought that being gay as a woman means liking women in any shape, clothing, or attitude. But if someone I'm assuming is a cis woman says "no guys like this, lesbians like that" I feel like I have to defer to that. They've been a woman into women longer than I have.

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AuroraAustralis OP wrote

Reply to comment by cornwallis105 in My mother by AuroraAustralis

I can look into it. I get my hrt from Plume I don't know how much they know about local organizations. I'm positive there's something, thanks for the tip😊 If nothing else it's good to just talk this out.

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AuroraAustralis OP wrote

Reply to comment by cornwallis105 in My mother by AuroraAustralis

Online they're unraveling, I don't know what it's like irl. I want to find out, I want to stop doomscrolling, but like I said I work from home and I'm in my 30s. I have no idea where to even start interacting with the world.

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AuroraAustralis OP wrote

Reply to comment by Circe in My mother by AuroraAustralis

It's been a rollercoaster. Starting the process to change my name was so liberating and everyone at the courthouse treated me just fine and I have a therapist now who's really pushing me to accept myself and live my life. But on the other hand I have no friends or social life outside of the people online who are all convinced there is no future for trans people. Being rejected by a parent really tips the emotional balance to the negative. I think this is the loneliest I've ever been.

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AuroraAustralis OP wrote

Reply to comment by cornwallis105 in My mother by AuroraAustralis

It's hard not to feel doom and gloom these days. I work from home so I spend way too much time doom scrolling. The US trans community is completely unraveling due to being right in the culture war crosshairs. I live in California and I've never really had problems but it's still so hard to stay positive and not walk into traffic.

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AuroraAustralis wrote

Right now the only other country I can think of that I have an "in" with is Taiwan. I worked in the PRC and learned a bit of Mandarin, but I was there before I transitioned and I wouldn't feel safe going back. Taiwan I hear is better for LGBT rights.

The other stuff is a good idea I certainly want to do that. It just feels like it's not enough. It's tough feeling so powerless, but I guess that's a feeling not a strategy. Better to get off my butt and do something.

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