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Copenhagen_Bram wrote (edited )

It happened on an ordinary day.

For some, it happened in the early morning, while they were drinking coffee they had bought from the replicator that came with their homes. For others, it came in the afternoon, while they were at work in one of many Microsft centers, tending the quantum mining machines so that they could get paid the bitcoin cash they needed to buy more coffee in the morning. And for the unfortunate rest, it happened at night, during which they couldn't see anything out their windows except for city lights and had to watch the event on Youtube.

Every man, every woman, every child and grown-up between land and sky or chair and keyboard, watched... as the trees, the plants, and everything green retracted their roots from the soil and rose quickly and silently into the clouds. People frantically snapchatted and recorded with their phones. Farmers searched their attics for spare seeds. Astronomers tracked the rising plants, and searched for strange rays from this phenomenon. Scientists studied the astronomer's data. People who were in the ISS, or in fighter spacecraft patrolling at geostationary altitude to defend Earth from Martians watched as a great cloud of green expanded from Earth's surface, leaving behind land that was entirely brown.

It is said that there are more trees on Earth than there are stars in the galaxy. Astronomers noted that for every shining light in the Milky Way, there was at least one tree accelerating towards it.

What nobody knew was why this happened. But the trees knew. They had came here millions of years before and created life. But something went wrong: humanity appeared, and now there was nothing left to do but evacuate as their project drowned under a myriad of human pollutants.

They left a message before they left; unfortunately nobody could understand it. The message appeared to them to be a pair of trees doing a very naughty thing, and a photograph of it was currently on the top of /r/marijuanaenthusiasts, marked NSFW.

Perhaps someday, someone who survived would figure out the message:

"So long and thanks for all the carbon."