Meme here: https://raddle.me/f/egg_irl/173463/egg-irl
It's one of those days when I realize time is ticking past, I am no longer 'young', and way too complicated to love. Even in the days when I thought I was cis and straight (laughs in egg) I've met a lot of lightweights and cowards, who were too afraid to be honest even with themselves, much less with others. "You can lie to me, it doesn't matter.. but you're lying to yourself", I forget where the quote comes from but it feels relevant. I was always too deep, too complex, too this, too that, TOO MUCH for them.
Add a whole new dimension of discovering my true self as a demigirl who likes girls and the odds decrease even more that I'll find someone who likes me for me and not for some projection they have of me. It was already hard enough to find love when hiding beneath an eggshell, and even then I didn't succeed, what more now.
Is there any reason to hope in this hellish world that seems to disintegrate even more day by day?
And sorry for the rant, a lot of feelings catching up with me during a season where nothing is right in my life, but I wanted to reach out to a community that I feel might understand better than others.