Idk, I'm tired.
]]>Now, for me labels are only useful to the degree I can express myself as an individual with them, and if they get in the way of my individuality then I discard them, so I'm thinking about the term "post-left" and realize it might not be helpful. I don't necessarily see the term "anti-left" as helpful, either, but I see these terms used interchangeably too, and by the logic I applied before, these aren't the same thing. The way I'm using it, post-left is evolving from leftism, and might support the left on some issues, some big examples may be leftist anti-colonial movements, but anti-left would be oppositional in a general sense, and I realize due to how these terms are used and hard to differentiate in who I see using them like I could with "anti-humanist" vs "post-humanist", then I just don't think these terms are very useful.
Idk, this all might be very confusing with what I am trying to say, but might be interesting to expand on in the future.
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I did, however, learn how to play happy birthday. My Italian teacher sings happy birthday for everyone and well he jokingly said I'd be playing along. Which then he taught me. Great memory
I was walking home and had to take a detour cause of construction. I walked past this house with pretentious signs. "Trespassers will be shot on sight, any survivors will be shot again"
Fuck you! I spit on you! You live in the safest suburb I've ever seen next to a school, playground, and church!
And immediately after passing that house I see a Trump 2024 "Take America back again"
Please, take it away from me. I do not want it.
Which, I think misanthropy is a normal emotion to feel sometimes, but when it turns into an ideology it seems like it would result in "Genocide is good because the humans should kill each other off and I don't have to care about that or do anything to free myself for myself", or some weird things that seem to turn into "kill pregnant people because they are the bearers of human life, and human evil therefore pregnant evil", shit like that. Idk, very fucking disjointed thoughts, but I think there are things to critique about misanthropy from a nihilist/egoist perspective, and I really hate when people who are just misanthropes call themselves nihilists or egoists or whatever, because I feel like those are contradicting a lot of the time.
]]>and in the very seconds after i watched people scrambling to ensure that things were done properly and legally and according to various rules and structures and the things, how does this impact the things.
and no one took a moment to appreciate or even really recognize or sit with the thing that we just collectively experienced. there was no time. there are things to do. important things, and this thing that we experienced, processing that just isn't on that list and so we need to do and do and do and and and...
fuck that.
and now i'm home and i can just ... process and try not to internalize and try not to be traumatized except that i have to do something because the government needs me to and it has to be done by tomorrow because they've decided there's a deadline on these sorts of things.
the state and capitalism force us to be so cruel. not only to each other but also to ourselves.
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