Hey guys! I am a 24 heavy restrictor, but began at 17 as b/p. Became healthy for a short time in college, and now back on the Ed wagon. I saw what I looked like in recovery, and it was just gross.

Something that keeps me going is not getting back to where I was a year ago. I weighed 165 at that time. And luckily, my mom has become a health nut so my behavior looks normal to those around me. OP I believe there are a lot struggling that are in denial. It was that way for my mom for a long time. Recently, she actually admitted to me that she might have ED behaviors and is worried about being 56 and having this problem.

I questioned this fact for awhile, and for a split second I was happy to be have my presumption be true. However, it is very sad to hear the pain in her voice, and the shame kick in. There is not reason for her to feel embarrassed, especially with me.

I guess I am not sure what is better - to be in the clouds or be a ED who is embarrassed to let society know.