Recent comments in /f/offmychest

Styx wrote (edited )

When I was a kid my biggest fear was to be a psychopath, a sociopath or a bad, immoral person

Well, rest assured that no psychopath, sociopath or bad, immoral person ever suspected that they may be a psychopath, sociopath or bad, immoral person.

It's okay to have your own reasons ('ethics', if you want to call it that) for doing or not doing things. The rejection of morality doesn't mean you have to kill babies and drink their blood to prove how very anarchist you are. It's more about a recognition that those who do so-called 'immoral' acts might have very valid reasons to do so. This is perhaps putting it too plainly, but the point is not to judge, dismiss and dehumanise others. It's more about minding your own business, if that makes sense.

As for your low confidence, I'm sorry if this is too patronising, but the truth is you'll grow out of it eventually. Most of us, certainly I, went through a similar stage and snapped out of it when it became just too tiring to constantly care about what others think. And the sad truth is that pretty much nobody really cares that much. Life kind of is like an internet forum. One day we are all fervently accusing each other of being libs and two days later we forget about it and move on (or at least, most of us do).

I'll just say, sit with your feelings. Whenever those doubts come to you and make you feel really bad, just sit with them and let them take over you. Allow yourself to cry, to be sad and doubtful. The instinct says to deny them the power, but weirdly enough, allowing those feelings to do their thing makes these moments go away faster than when you are resisting them, at least in my experience.

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nulloperation wrote

Sounds depressing when your school friend hurls out buttcoin cryptobro ancap fantasies. The more disappointing when it's someone you like.

In posh private school, I guess it must be challenging to stand alone with that view one has from being increasingly woken towards suffering and injustice. One thing to perhaps practice could be calling in (a much gentler version of calling out) your friend for suggesting something oppressive. I like when people call me in when I accidentally say oppressive shit, so it goes both ways.

I try to call co-workers in (and sometimes out) on sexism, and also on animal liberation when they're ordering death pizzas or eating minced pig flesh, but also doing it warmly and somewhat humorously because I really love my co-workers too. Each their own style, I guess, but I think it's important you state your truth somehow.

Or maybe watch Moxie and start a revolution at your school?

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Styx wrote

I'm sorry you feel this way. It looks like you have too high expectations for yourself. Objectively though, you are a teenager. There isn't much you can do and that's alright. The opportunity will eventually present itself.

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SnowCode OP wrote (edited )

Reply to comment by Styx in Yet again another offmychest post by SnowCode

The thing is that those people are also my friends. In most cases they're not like that and I love them. They comforted me a lot, and yet I still feel like shit. I maybe feel a little less like shit when I'm with them and I'm grateful for that. I don't hate them, I do hate myself right now though.

The thing that bugs me the most is not them, it's the fact I feel soooo useless.

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lettuceLeafer wrote (edited )

I wouldn't feel bothersome about posts. I slather all of raffles forums with my random musings at whim wit no shame. So ur not even close to my level. If u where posting to much I would be a much better target for ire. Lol

FYI I don't feel ins cure about my posting just trying to console snowcode.

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Styx wrote

I was in a similar position as you. Comfortable enough to go to a private school but not rich enough to get my own Audi for my 18th birthday like many of my classmates. I also struggled with maintaining friendships (as if it was even possible with those fuckwits).

And here's the thing: You should pity them. They are already dead inside and there's nothing anyone can do to help them. They will soon discover that whatever riches they have are not enough, that there are significantly richer people than them, and will spiral into a massive existential crisis, because someone else has a more expensive car than they do. Boo fucking hoo.

In a few years, once you go to uni or w/e, you'll meet a more varied selection of people and finally meet those who respect you for who you are. Then you'll see more clearly how pitiful this bunch is.

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flingwingin wrote

not garbear, but tbh i do think that if you come from this society and want to become a hermit, that's selfish. I wouldn't dream of trying to stop someone though, and i'd be happy one person at least got out, but i do think it's worthy of moral condemnation to run away and leave everyone else in the same shit situation. But yeah idk we don't have any duties to each other or to lift everyone up - especially not against their own ability and wishes - but it's still morally broke imo. Like fuck the hermit, have some solidarity, we're still fucked over in here. Not everyone has the privilege to be a hermit. Or if it's not a privilege thing, have some solidarity n help others get out of the system. Fuck hermits

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flingwingin wrote

your brain on westoid eastern mysticism

(ok sorry i was harsh and i'm just shitposting on you, but fr i think there's a certain reading of the materials which is besides the point of what they literally say - im not denying what you talk about exists in daoist tests - though also daoism is like a broad as fuck thing which has been around for a long time and gathered tons of weird shit - i'm just saying that 100% western leftists will draw out certain ideas from the texts that from what i can see are less than main points at best, or just bad interpretations of the meaning or context, and they almost always serve to further docility and social control)

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flingwingin wrote

i was tryna say theyre both bad, idk if that got across

like posties have this super radical critique and want to live as anarchs RIGHT NOW, but doing this will lead to consequences most can't handle (like smh good ol benzo renzo died in a shootout with cops), so they cope by saying "i'm doing what i want" but only doing the things they want which are in line with the dominant establishment's view of what's right - it's a life ruled by fear and at best it's just not radical at all (and i only bring this up because they seem to think they're enlightened egoist ubermenschen for doing what they want, when it's literally what the system is designed for).

also changing your environment is changing the world... unless you mean change which environment you're in, in which case fml why am i tryna give advice to a social ladder climbing leftist tryna just build more privilege fuck that, fuck the state, and fuck it's bribes. But i dont think thats what ur saying so idk. Like there's shit you can do which allows for you to change things and make shit better, but no one is asking you to be a whole social movement in one person and revolutionize the whole world and bring down all states. Tbh that's like almost always a strawman of revolutionary arguments that passive nihilists (aka BASIC LIBERAL SUBJECTs) bring up in order to justify having 0 solidarity and 0 compassion and just "focusing on myself"

anyways anyways im not trying to criticize you here, i just wanted to answer why posties say to live in the moment, and why it looks to you that living in the moment means being inactive - it's cause people coping with the facts of the state and a lack of nihilism

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SnowCode OP wrote (edited )

Yes but on the other hand, I won't change the world. I am just one individual among a lot of others. Why would focus on your own happiness be selfish? Helping others can make you happy as well.

Why couldn't it further anarchism? It all depends on what you do. If someone wants to let's say be an hermit, is that selfish (they should be free to do so and they don't participate in the capitalist society, I guess)?

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Garbear104 wrote

Because it doesn't further anarchism, only personal pleasure. It ls pretty selfish tbh. Worlds been changed alot before. Because people did shit. If you arent willing to do shit then what do you expect? The state to just roll over? No point pretending to care about those trampled if the most your willing to do is just not plan and larp for change

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existential1 wrote (edited )

fuck westoid eastern mysticism like fucking 99% of the time it's just covert brainwashing tactics to make you docile and uncritical

Lietzu | Liezi from the 4th/5th century BC..."westoid eastern mysticism". What are you on about?

In particular, stories like "20: The man who could walk through fire" or "48: The man who tried to move the mountains" or "62: Effort argues with Destiny". (All groupings here are from Eva Wong's version)

Even using a preface like "real" with daoism next strikes me as strange.

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flingwingin wrote

this is silly

you can think about doing something tomorrow, then go do it

planning is a part of being human, and its fun and imagination is cool

fuck westoid eastern mysticism like fucking 99% of the time it's just covert brainwashing tactics to make you docile and uncritical

real daoism is dialectical anyways, fuck this basic one dimensional shit. action and thought yo. they go together and help each other out, but are separated temporally

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flingwingin wrote

duuuude hey i get you

  1. lettuce has the way

  2. there are two kinds of living in the present that emerge, but post-left people bring up living in the present without really distinguishing - one is living anarchy now, acting on every desire RIGHT NOW with total nihilism, embrace the void, be ready to die by cop or go to prison or whatever, but go out like harrison bergeron ig. The other is the response to this basically unattainable first type, and it's to just "be in the present" by refusing to plan for the future, always seeking immediate comfort, validation, good feels, etc. and aggressively call out anyone who is thinking about the future or trying to change the world at all. This second type is a horrible horrible brainwashed liberalism tbh. It's shit. It's the devil.

On the practical side, it's good to smell the roses every once in a while. Work out and/or have sex often to keep in touch with your body. Ask urself if you're observing the world, or just observing what is observing the world, and get yourself out of abstract contemplation and into observation and contemplation on your surroundings and moment. It's nice. But it shouldnt be an imposition and its definitely not the only way to live.

But you basically have the answer already - you want to not wait for the future, and you want to not be inactive and accept this society - ok, in this moment do what you can to work towards a better society. This probably means sitting and planning, then carrying out what u think up. Pretty simple ig. Don't get stuck in the need for immediate payoff - the future exists, you will be there (and you wont be some totally different person), and you will be grateful for your past efforts if you work for long-term goals.

glhf

i could say how i think you could help people, make world better, become more free, but idk if this is the place for it and its a process. TBH i think no one has the answers until they're able to reach out to you offline and entangle you in a network of anarchist mutual aid and counter-economy and stuff

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existential1 wrote

This duality you've constructed of "present moment | activity level" is a mental border you don't actually need and doesn't have to be there if you don't want it to be.

I'd recommend Lietzu if you wanna read some Taoist stuff about this. Many stories in that book deal with the concept of, "If you have time to think about what you're doing, you're not doing the thing. And once you think about what you're going to do, you can no longer do it."

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moonlune wrote (edited )

Reply to comment by SnowCode in I am lost by SnowCode

idk it felt like something smart and poetic 6 hours ago, but not anymore. Probably meaning idk.

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SnowCode OP wrote

Reply to comment by lettuceLeafer in I am lost by SnowCode

I think I am shifting my goal toward work. I am ready to work but I don't want work to become a burden for my life, and one thing I am trying to achieve by minimizing needs and expenses would be to be able to be more flexible and free with work. I didn't even think about retirement but it's true it's would be a good thing to consider.

I don't know how to start though. I am still living at my parents but I know they are the type of person who wouldn't mind me staying here forever, but I don't. I don't know how to quit home and start trying to achieve this goal.

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moonlune wrote (edited )

Reply to I am lost by SnowCode

You might find salvation embracing absurdism. The easiest/shortest read being camu's take on the myth of sisyphus (it's ~2 pages long). I feel like you're looking for your boulder at the moment, but remember, any boulder will suffice.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

Reply to comment by SnowCode in I am lost by SnowCode

Ok I fixed it so it actually makes sense now.

Your goal is actually pretty achievable. I would say the easiest advice would for you to have enough money to retire early. Good guestimate is your cost of living per year / .04 . Or you could become self employed in a remote job where you only have to work a few hours and it covers the bills.

If you don't spend much money and get most of your needs besides buying them it's quite practical to quit working with some set up.

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SnowCode OP wrote

Reply to comment by !deleted34314 in I am lost by SnowCode

The thing is that I can enjoy stuff and all, but whenever someone says that what I'm doing worthless I just can't enjoy stuff anymore and start questioning everything.

I can be really fine and happy but when a trigger like this happen, my mood is crushed to the ground for some time. This is one of those times. It's slowly getting better by now, but I know it probably will happen again.

I'm making lists because I like to list the things I find inspiring or the things I done or want to do. Making lists and having a direction helps me calm down and have some sense of stability.

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