My family has always had sleep issues. Most of us have a hard time falling asleep, staying asleep, and once awoken being able to fall back asleep. The last few months has been really tough for me. I am looking after my parents, not taking care of myself like I should, and I don't know where the braking point is going to be or how badly someone is going to get hurt. Yesterday, I found myself falling asleep behind the wheel and almost collided with the middle wall on the highway.
I have taken sleep aids for years. I am at the point that I sometimes have to take a combination of drugs just to get two, three, and at most four hours of sleep in a night. Some nights the drugs don't work at all and I lay in silence all night wondering if today will be day I make a mistake while being tired. I am so afraid that I am going to hurt myself or hurt someone else. I am running myself ragged just trying to survive.
I feel that I have done everything I can by following all of the standard advice of no caffeine, no blue light, working out, eating well, drinking enough fluids, no naps, not eating late.
I am so afraid I am going to become addicted to benzos. I am even more afraid that the benzos I do take will stop working and I won't fall asleep for days. I have spent so much time and money visiting doctors, doing sleep studies, and I am not get better. Honestly I am not even able to maintain I am only getting worse.