I've been walking around with a lot of confusion for a long time - at least three years. In the last month or so, it's slowly become too much of a burden. I feel like my back is breaking soon.
I took a bunch of LSD two days ago. I've tripped many times before, but that trip was like no other (i also took more than I've ever done before). I found an immense peace, and was able to clear the confusion (there's more to this trip - it was amazing, I'll gladly explain more if anyone is interested). This has made me realize the enormous loneliness and rage that's boiling in me, which is better than the confusion i had before, but also very overwhelming.
I told the girl i liked today how i felt about her, because trying to keep it a friendship is exhausting me slowly - she didn't feel the same way, which was a little devastating too.
I've thought about it a lot, but I'm not sure why i feel this way. I have a lot of good friends, who tell me they love me, yet i feel unloved and alone. I have a nice apartment, I've got food on the table, I've got a solid job that I can actually enjoy on good days, yet I feel so much rage.
I have no idea what I'm asking for - I just thought it was worth a try, since most of you people are awesome, and share my way of thinking in a lot of ways. It's good to get off my chest if nothing else.