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lettuceLeafer wrote

Personally I find when people try to comfort me when in a predicament where death is genuinely better I find almost everything people say to be condesending. So just listen and make statements that confirm people's feelings and show that you are listening.

For example if they say X makes them want to kill themself you can say yeah, I can totally see how such suffering would make you feel that way. If they want something they will ask.

Also to give methods behind my statements I actually have been trained in how to talk to people who are like 1 hour from killing themself and usually less severe situations. So I've had a shit ton of practice and I can tell u from experience that my advice is decent.

I would be more concerned about u setting healthy boundaries tbh. Letting a depressed person drag u down and take up a ton of emotional energy almost is never healthy or helpful to either party. The amount of times suicidal people try and cope by trying to be abusive or manipulative is super common. So if u don't think u will be able to set boundaries or feel like boundaries are being pressed be okay with ditching the friendship.

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tuesday wrote

When I'm dealing with strong ideation and a desire to attempt the thing that I need most is someone to just listen and affirm what I'm feeling. Making me feel guilty about who I'd leave behind isn't helpful because when I'm in that moment I believe that they're worse for knowing me and would be better off, so anyone saying otherwise is just lying.

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fortmis wrote

the most important thing to remember is that it's not your fault if you can't help her. Beyond that, if you feel like you have the time/energy to try, I'd talk to her privately about setting up somewhere for her to go so she's not stuck at home with her parents (like an aunt or uncle, friend, teacher, or if it has to be... a woman's shelter)

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SnowCode OP wrote

I don't know her IRL and she lives in another country though.

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fortmis wrote

ya i figured, still maybe it's something she can figure out herself with a little guidance/encouragement. Styx's advice to listen and connect is probably better suited to the situation tho

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