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bea wrote

But heterosexual aces aren't a thing... If they were then I wouldn't be arguing with you right now.

They even said that asexuals enjoy sex when it's with the right partner - which I didn't understand at all.

I've explained that here. I used the term non-repulsed which, if you look at the pie chart I had in my previous comment, is only one portion of people that fall under the label asexual, I mention this because it's important to think of asexuality as a spectrum rather than a fixed identity.

I didn't misspeak when I said 'heterosexual' since they were claiming aces could enjoy sex. That's heterosexual, not merely heteroromantic.

Asexual just means a person doesn't experience sexual attraction, that's what sexuality is, doesn't mean they can't have sex. Gay guys can have sex with women too, and the genital stimulation might feel good, but that's about it, there'd be no attraction. Aces that enjoy sex ( those 8% on the pie chart ) still don't feel sexually attracted to their partner though, regardless of romantic attraction ( Which is why they're not heterosexual since for that they'd have to experience attraction to the person they're having sex with ). These people would be called sex-favorable.

Then we have sex-indifferent aces ( this is me and the 27% on the pie chart ). Sex-indifferent aces are usually, as the name implies, indifferent to the idea of sex. They could have sex with their partner if their partner wanted them to but wouldn't welcome such occasion. They could also enjoy genital stimulation but more likely they'll be having sex to please their allosexual partner.

The last biggest category ( 37% on the pie chart ) are sex-repulsed aces. To me you seem sex-repulsed considering your last sentence ( but I obviously can't know that, sorry if I'm mistaken ), which would explain why a person liking genital stimulation and calling themselves asexual doesn't make sense to you ( though sexuality doesn't say anything about what type of sex you should like so they're just as valid aces because they they lack sexual attraction ). Sex-repulsed are usually against most forms sexual contact and sometimes even as far as kissing or cuddling.

This was a quick explanation of the 3 major types of aces. There are obviously also other people on the spectrum like demisexuals that feel sexual attraction only after they've entered a romantic relationship with a person, those who fluctuate between different parts of the ace spectrum, and others that I won't be getting into.

The main takeaway is that sexuality and enjoyment of genital stimulation are unrelated and that most ace people fall in the repulsed or indifferent category but that even those who don't are still valid. Also that fixating on a minority of people you don't believe are "ace enough" hurts the wider ace spectrum.


thelegendarybirdmonster wrote (edited )

yeah we know what asexual means we've been having that discussion for the last 2 weeks lol.

asexual people can be asexual and LGBT (romantic only), in which case they should be welcomed in LGBT spaces. Non-LGBT asexuals arent a vulnerable population and should not be welcomed in LGBT spaces. That's all the "debate" was about (before it turned into a shitshow).


bea wrote

And as I said in my first comment in this thread: I'm not arguing about that. My point was to just stop calling asexuals homosexual and/or straight because that's just not what we are. Nothing about if we're queer or not. ( that's an already lost battle here on raddle so why bother )