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Tequila_Wolf wrote (edited )

Hey ziq,

I don't have a problem with you being anonymous or using alts (which is something I've said on many occasions), just with you framing people as being crazy when they assume you are who you are. I'm not sure why it isn't clear that my problem was with gaslighting, since I said exactly that. It might be because I recognise it in different ways to you. Maybe that's why you think I ordered you to do anything.

Let me try to get this clear in case it's not for everyone.

If you're working to discredit people based on their messed up headspace (ie. "weird commie groupthink") and in the same breath you're positing a lie that is made stronger by your discrediting, that's gaslighting. I wouldn't have a problem with you denying that you're ziq or even critiquing some groups' ways of thinking, but the way they were framed together was, as I said, "too close to gaslighting".

I hope I have cleared that up some.


ziq wrote

I can't read your comment right now because I'm at work in the middle of a dangerous task and can't get emotional.

But I want to say you're the heart of this place and I appreciate you and your hard work more than you'll ever know.

I have a lot of anger in me and a strong dislike of certain users on this site, but the last thing I want to do is cause you any unhappiness. The main reason I can't be here right now is because I can't help myself. As soon as gnuponut starts with the passive aggressive snide remarks I take the bait and rage at them. Then you and emma get caught in the middle.

When I designed the raddle logo, I made it blue so it would be neutral. Emma changed it to red. She chose a red color scheme for the site. Put the hammer and sickle at the bottom of the page. There has always been a rift between the communists and the anarchists on this site from the get go, and I feel it's gotten further and further away from my original intention.

These things can't be left unsaid any more, the genie is out of the bottle and everything needs to be addressed, not just my antics. However much drama it causes. The rifts will always be here unless things are resolved.


ziq wrote (edited )

Despite what it says on the label, this place was not coded by communism. It was coded by emma, an individual. In all the time she has been coding raddle, she's been at it all alone despite several skilled coders offering their services and then never following through.

A lot of the people raging because I 'manipulated their democracy' never contributed a thing to the community. A lot of them never even bothered to vote in meta. Others (the ones calling themselves communists) contributed themes and then selfishly took them back.

Emma did a shitload of work here. Tequila did a shitload of work here. Most of the people throwing tantrums because they thought this was some kind of collective utopia of equality have contributed nothing of value and have no right to demand my blood after I humbled myself, apologized and gave up running my own site to make amends.

Before the clique wakes up and starts up the vitriol again, remember that I don't give a shit. I have no respect for any of you or your makebelieve-communism.

If I stuck around, I would continue to stoke controversy because that's just who I am. People really, really don't like me talking back to them and I can't stop myself from doing it.

This community can still thrive if you want it to. But there are things that need to be addressed, like the paranoid accusations and outing of people as 'trolls' that come straight from the cointelpro guidebook. Whoever sticks around, please don't let raddle be dragged down by this ickiness. Ban people that are engaging in that kind of behavior and don't ask for their permission to do it. No one has the right to your identity. No one has the right to spread rumors about you or your mental health. No one has the right to link to your social media profiles.

This all started because of how important privacy is to me. Gnuponut stalked me and demanded info about me from emma. I reacted in a bad way to having my privacy threatened. I reacted the same way when leftous started digging for dirt on me. But there can't be any compromise when it comes to guarding user privacy on raddle. A lot of us are put in a lot of danger when this happens.


DissidentRage wrote

Despite what it says on the label, this place was not coded by communism. It was coded by emma, an individual. In all the time she has been coding raddle, she's been at it all alone despite several skilled coders offering their services and then never following through.

Yeah, I feel really bad about that. I've been having some really crippling motivational issues from being in a depressive funk for the past six months. I get into this place in my mind where I don't have the energy to work on something I want to work on, then I don't do anything to pass the time because I feel guilty about not working on a project. I try to motivate myself but at this point the attempt to motivate myself consumes energy faster than the motivation generates.


Xylanthius wrote

You should talk about that in the mental health sub. I think many people would be able to relate to these struggles. It's better than feeling alone and guilty/shameful. We are here to help each other out and support each other.


DissidentRage wrote

I never thought of that to be honest. I'm so used to having to work through and resolve my issues on my own. Therapy, for instance, has always been something out of reach.


Xylanthius wrote

We are not alone here. It's 30934589034x more helpful to listen to someone authentically talk about what they are going through because then we no longer feel alone. We are all going through similar struggles together generationally in many ways. Support groups are really powerful. I struggle with very similar issues. a lot of us do.

Self-sabotage is about as real as it gets in this society. A lot of us struggle with these feelings in our generation within this western society.

There is a lot of psychological theory behind procrastination and self-sabotage that are much deeper than superficial social stigmas. The guilt and shame that is faced by the individual who doesn't understand it can be paralyzing as well as reinforcing. You are not alone. I often read literature about these topics as well as watch psychological lectures on utube relating to it.

I like to imagine this community as an acceptable safe space and supportive environment to each other. I believe we are capable of this. It's obvious to me that we all have demons here. It's something that brings us all together in some way.

I often don't post on here because of how I have seen others get personally attacked because of their individual views which are their own personal opinions. I know for a fact that I am not the only one who feels that way and has felt that way as I have talked to others on this site of whom I will not name. It doesn't have to be that way though. Authenticity is my highest value. That is why I'm here..