Let's Beef It Out And Get It Over With

Submitted by a_perfect_map in meta


I been ruminating about the whole /f/man extravaganza, maybe a bit too much. Best to clear the air. If we're gonna beef, let's get it over with and move on to mutual compromise and respect.

First I want to apologize to /f/feminism as the more I think about posting on there, the shittier I feel about it. I see your viewpoint and respect it and I'm sorry.

The thing though is, I took what I consider is a really important and multi dimensional topic to /f/Man and started really digging into it. So far I feel like we've had some good discussion, lots of comments. I'm learning a lot and hopefully other people are too. This is great as I want to include others and start discussion. FeelsGood.jpg, I start feeling like maybe we can actually make headway into this scary and difficult topic.

But then I get a comment like from Tequila_Wolf about how my submissions on "this being a man thing" are taking up space.

This hurts my feelings my friend.

And I don't see the issue. Pushing towards a healthier masculinity is not going to be solved with a few memes and shitposts. This is difficult, grappling with fascism, gun violence, suicide and honestly examining yourself as a man in order to grow. I don't appreciate you minimizing these topics which really do effect all of us. That is not cool.

As explained in the article you commented on, moving toward a better masculinity is more than a search for identity. It must remain political, it must support feminism and LGBTQ+. You put me in a box when you say this "being a man thing" and that's like, your opinion but hey I disagree.

Why is it a problem in the first place? You wouldn't even say. Let's talk about how /f/Man isn't even an official forum, so it's not bothering anyone on the front page. Lol, is the server running out of room? What is the beef? If you don't want to read /f/Man, than don't read it, that seems fair? Why chill free speech for others? Why are there no complains against me posting a lot in other forums? Why just /f/Man?

Don't intrude on /f/Feminism, ok agreed and sorry.

Stop posting so much in /f/Man, this is important to me and does not impact other's autonomy, so- No.

I would hear your thoughts as we are in this together. My goal is to build bridges and unite against fascist patriarchy. More walls in these times helps no one but the fascists. Minimizing these issues is really unhealthy.



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lastfutures wrote (edited )

I believe the critique they were referring to is that men tend to take up a lot of space, ie. dominate the conversation, make it about them, etc. People on here often just browse all forums (the admins like Tequila certainly do), so it does fill up the front page for many (most?) of us.


a_perfect_map OP wrote (edited )

That is not my goal. Do you feel like I do that? If the community feels such I will respect the community for sure. So far it is one perosn, who also minimized.

You know, I kind of feel like this is another example of being told that behavior is toxic, ok I am listening because I don't want to hurt anyone, your autonomy is important but then hey, radio silence on how to be healthy? And I know its not on others to fix men, but cmon.

Why is the complaint just about /f/Man, too? I spam a lot of forums. Or is that it too. No answers. I don't know.

Also you are speaking for another, which is problematic.

You know what? I'll take a break, posting on here is gettin g me through a rough time but if it is coming off as dominating then OK message recieved.

I am trying! Hope you all are doing OK.


lastfutures wrote

Tequila said someone else should explain their point, so I attempted to. They can correct me if I misinterpreted.

I don't have any issues with your posting. I prefer discussion posts to all the links and if it were up to me the different forums would be more independent so you could post as much as you want, that's not really how people use the site tho.


lettuceleafer wrote

I think I have to agree with Tequila I was a little annoyed with a how often you were posting. I enjoyed reading your first or second post. You were just doing a lot at once. Nothing was wrong with what you were saying. This is a small forum and several discussion posts can take up a significant percentage of the space. I hope you just spread out how often you say your cool ideas.


a_perfect_map OP wrote

Thank you for saying so. I am taking a break. Honestly I have been pretty lonely and scared. Maybe time for self care. You guys have helped me out. Thank you. This is a community so I need to respect you all. The group comes first.


lettuceleafer wrote

Don't be so hard on yourself. I've been on raddle a lot more lately since I've been stuck inside all the time. It's normal to want to talk to people in times like this. Also pro tip don't take criticism personally on this website. Do think about your action and changing, but I find it helpful to be able to roll with the punches a bit. Especially since about every two weeks some tankie or dem socialist will come and call everyone a hypocritical eco-fascist.