Viewing a single comment thread. View all comments

4

rot wrote

I feel like I do this too unless I'm trying to be aggressive, so yeah?

saying" I feel like" and "if that makes sense" are more passive language choices.

7

RedEmmaSpeaks wrote

Women use passive language traits, because we are schooled by society that we should be agreeable and kind towards everyone in society. Guys, if you ever wonder why we don't just flat-out say "NO!" and instead hem and haw and step around the word, that's why. We also do that because based on firsthand experience, secondhand experience, or stories we've heard about on the news, we know just how badly this could end for us. Maybe that guy isn't a violent asshole with a sense of entitlement big enough to sink the Titanic, but we can't tell by looking, so we try to be gentle, tell them off without pissing them off. It's the equivalent of staving off a possibly aggressive dog by going, "Nice doggie, good doggie," until we can make an escape.

It's a terrible metaphor, because men aren't dogs, but it is the only apt one I can think of.

"I played the game I learned in seventh grade when a boy likes you. You make up some reason so that you protect their feelings, so that they don't get angry with you, and you still manage to escape. It's a skill a 12-year-old girl learns that she needs for the rest of her life." DR. JENNIFER KNUST, now a tenured professor at Boston University, on her struggle as a graduate student to avoid the attentions of a renowned Columbia University professor in the 1990s.

2

rot wrote

I totally agree. I don't know where I got it from but it's probably my fear of disappointing people.

-1

noordinaryspider wrote

I used to agree with you when you told me I was a disgusting pervert who fucked like a corpse because I was a fat ugly dyke with flappy tiddies who wanted to steal your stacy.

Now I agree with you about what a fat slob I am and how stupid I am not to know that my vagina isn't a clown car because I don't want you to break down my front door in the middle of the night, steal my son, and anally rape him.

Okay?

2

noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

"I feel like" is a self-report, which is a simple statement of fact. I could feel like a purple elephant and you still wouldn't feel threatened by me, you would just find me ridiculous. No harm would be done. I would have hedged my bet and won Pascal's wager.

Okay?

And I'm too lazy to think of another weigh two tawk gooder cuz I reckon the veracity of my self-report statement haint gwine bee dependent on any popularity contest or collection of gold stars, blue ribbons, and worthless golden statues anyway so what's the point?

I've been chopping down this palm tree for eighty-seven years; kids are all hungry; baby's crying; rent's due; on top of all that, now we're out of vodka.

'Nuff said.