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nov wrote (edited )

not really memey, but im really into this argument.

As a society we are so misogynistic and devalue so much great stuff because its associated with femininity, like consensus seeking.

(I personally hate 'i feel like' in fact driven discourse, but i will now roll around the idea in my head that i am unfairly maligning the phrase)

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retiredshared5 wrote

immediate thought: this is a legitimate discussion and not a meme

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yaaqov wrote

Definitely. There seems to be no subforum that this fits easily into, though. I wonder if something like an f/language would be a good idea.

(Right now we have f/languages, which is billed as a language-learning forum, but whose few posts range broadly from language learning to linguistic imperialism to Esperanto videos. Its sole mod is also not an active member.)

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[deleted] wrote

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yaaqov wrote

I didn't mean to indicate that u/bloodrose did anything wrong. The fact that f/memer was the best choice right now is exactly the point I was trying to make: there is no clearly relevant place to talk about language, right now, though there should be (in my belief). I'm sorry if that wasn't clear.

I actually made a proposal about this here. I would love to hear your thoughts! I'm not sure if by "I hate language" you also mean that you think a place for discussion about it would be a bad idea?

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rot wrote

I feel like I do this too unless I'm trying to be aggressive, so yeah?

saying" I feel like" and "if that makes sense" are more passive language choices.

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RedEmmaSpeaks wrote

Women use passive language traits, because we are schooled by society that we should be agreeable and kind towards everyone in society. Guys, if you ever wonder why we don't just flat-out say "NO!" and instead hem and haw and step around the word, that's why. We also do that because based on firsthand experience, secondhand experience, or stories we've heard about on the news, we know just how badly this could end for us. Maybe that guy isn't a violent asshole with a sense of entitlement big enough to sink the Titanic, but we can't tell by looking, so we try to be gentle, tell them off without pissing them off. It's the equivalent of staving off a possibly aggressive dog by going, "Nice doggie, good doggie," until we can make an escape.

It's a terrible metaphor, because men aren't dogs, but it is the only apt one I can think of.

"I played the game I learned in seventh grade when a boy likes you. You make up some reason so that you protect their feelings, so that they don't get angry with you, and you still manage to escape. It's a skill a 12-year-old girl learns that she needs for the rest of her life." DR. JENNIFER KNUST, now a tenured professor at Boston University, on her struggle as a graduate student to avoid the attentions of a renowned Columbia University professor in the 1990s.

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rot wrote

I totally agree. I don't know where I got it from but it's probably my fear of disappointing people.

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