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8

nov wrote (edited )

not really memey, but im really into this argument.

As a society we are so misogynistic and devalue so much great stuff because its associated with femininity, like consensus seeking.

(I personally hate 'i feel like' in fact driven discourse, but i will now roll around the idea in my head that i am unfairly maligning the phrase)

1

noordinaryspider wrote

Thank you.

I like being femme.

I don't want to cut off part of myself to fit in, even though my own kid describes me as a "mindless baby factory" to my face. My whole point in being on Raddle is to support other femmes, especially badass superhero femmes because we do exist.

I FEEL LIKE I will be either injured (offline as well as on) or ridiculed if I tell the truth so I HAVE FOUND IT TO BE ADVANTAGEOUS AND EXPEDIENT to lie and pretend to be a clown.

I DO NOT FEEL that I can adequately express myself in the time I have left to devote to this post because MY VAGINA IS NOT A CLOWN CAR so my ten year old child can not be put on pause and needs me to go take care of him now.

My feelings cannot be changed by the fact that you think I am an idiot, if that is, in fact, a fact.

Great post, bloodrose; looking forward to reading the other comments when I'm up for it.

7

ergdj5 wrote

immediate thought: this is a legitimate discussion and not a meme

5

yaaqov wrote

Definitely. There seems to be no subforum that this fits easily into, though. I wonder if something like an f/language would be a good idea.

(Right now we have f/languages, which is billed as a language-learning forum, but whose few posts range broadly from language learning to linguistic imperialism to Esperanto videos. Its sole mod is also not an active member.)

2

noordinaryspider wrote

I hate language; it doesn't work.

I feel that "meme" was the quickest and most obvious place to put this.

I wonder if bloodrose was in a hurry or just had more important things to deal with.

I know that bloodrose posts on /f/parenting, has very thoughtful things to say, and uses the pronouns she/her.

1

yaaqov wrote

I didn't mean to indicate that u/bloodrose did anything wrong. The fact that f/memer was the best choice right now is exactly the point I was trying to make: there is no clearly relevant place to talk about language, right now, though there should be (in my belief). I'm sorry if that wasn't clear.

I actually made a proposal about this here. I would love to hear your thoughts! I'm not sure if by "I hate language" you also mean that you think a place for discussion about it would be a bad idea?

5

Tequila_Wolf wrote

TIL I have femme speech patterns.

1

noordinaryspider wrote

A certain old chinese proverb comes to mind; so does an ex who threw me in the trash can bowels of their to-do list to punish me for being "long, boring, and idiotically cryptic" so please don't hurt me for saying:

Be careful what you wish for--you just might get it.

4

rot wrote

I feel like I do this too unless I'm trying to be aggressive, so yeah?

saying" I feel like" and "if that makes sense" are more passive language choices.

7

RedEmmaSpeaks wrote

Women use passive language traits, because we are schooled by society that we should be agreeable and kind towards everyone in society. Guys, if you ever wonder why we don't just flat-out say "NO!" and instead hem and haw and step around the word, that's why. We also do that because based on firsthand experience, secondhand experience, or stories we've heard about on the news, we know just how badly this could end for us. Maybe that guy isn't a violent asshole with a sense of entitlement big enough to sink the Titanic, but we can't tell by looking, so we try to be gentle, tell them off without pissing them off. It's the equivalent of staving off a possibly aggressive dog by going, "Nice doggie, good doggie," until we can make an escape.

It's a terrible metaphor, because men aren't dogs, but it is the only apt one I can think of.

"I played the game I learned in seventh grade when a boy likes you. You make up some reason so that you protect their feelings, so that they don't get angry with you, and you still manage to escape. It's a skill a 12-year-old girl learns that she needs for the rest of her life." DR. JENNIFER KNUST, now a tenured professor at Boston University, on her struggle as a graduate student to avoid the attentions of a renowned Columbia University professor in the 1990s.

2

rot wrote

I totally agree. I don't know where I got it from but it's probably my fear of disappointing people.

-1

noordinaryspider wrote

I used to agree with you when you told me I was a disgusting pervert who fucked like a corpse because I was a fat ugly dyke with flappy tiddies who wanted to steal your stacy.

Now I agree with you about what a fat slob I am and how stupid I am not to know that my vagina isn't a clown car because I don't want you to break down my front door in the middle of the night, steal my son, and anally rape him.

Okay?

2

noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

"I feel like" is a self-report, which is a simple statement of fact. I could feel like a purple elephant and you still wouldn't feel threatened by me, you would just find me ridiculous. No harm would be done. I would have hedged my bet and won Pascal's wager.

Okay?

And I'm too lazy to think of another weigh two tawk gooder cuz I reckon the veracity of my self-report statement haint gwine bee dependent on any popularity contest or collection of gold stars, blue ribbons, and worthless golden statues anyway so what's the point?

I've been chopping down this palm tree for eighty-seven years; kids are all hungry; baby's crying; rent's due; on top of all that, now we're out of vodka.

'Nuff said.

3

wild_liger wrote

Fucking preach it.

1

noordinaryspider wrote

Oh no!!!

I made a mistake.

You wanted fucking people to preach it.

I don't like fucking. I am not a fucking person. I didn't mean to preach something you wanted a fucking person to preach. I didn't mean to lie and make you think I was a fucking person when I am not a fucking person, I am me.

I made a mistake.

Please don't kill me.