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kinshavo wrote

I don't wanna stir up more this but I believe that you are in good faith here. I would change the title as "perpetuating abuse" is a strong accusation. I always says that my broken English is bad and I mean it, but the words you used don't sit right for what I understood.

Thanks for offering for mediation, but I think in the good faith spirit both parts need to agree on the individual doing the mediation, not sure if they want to go through the process either. As long I am concerned bloodrose erased the problematic comment and tried to apologize more than once, even if one can interpret otherwise.

For the record. I don't feel this as overreacting if people are genuinely emotionally invested in this, I am sorry if I don't went through all the replies there or here as this whole marital issue is triggering as I'm on a similar process myself. And it's not nice to drag other issues that anyone had with bloodrose in the past or dragging Styx to the problem bc of her comment.

For me this isn't a tos break or a banable offense as I understand it was a sincere mistake from bloodrose.

Not sure if I am making sense to anyone with this whole rant

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lettuceLeafer OP wrote (edited )

You are correct I meant to say defending. I don't think blood roses did actual abuse.

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lettuceLeafer OP wrote

No you are fine. I think all that has to happen is bloodrose come back. Acknowledges the hurt she caused and make a genuine apology. I don't think it had to be a big issues.

Maybe this might be due to English being your second language but bloodrose response is not an acceptable apology in everywhere I've went in the US. Basically to apologize you need to understand the harm you caused. But bloodrose apology was reflecting that she didn't understand because she said I apologize but I actually didn't cause as much harm as you are making it out to be.

So a good apology sounds like "oh I understand how severe the hurt I caused to you was. Considering your situation I truly regret the massive amount of hurt I caused you. I'm truly sorry for my actions". A big part of an apology being told is there is no but where the person defends themself.

And that's all there is to it really. Bloodrose just had to show she is genuinely sorry and put in some effort and consoling and showing to asterisms that she knows the severity of how much she hurt his feelings and made his horrible situation worse.

Now obviously it being on acident is important as if it was on purpose that would be a different issue. But it's irrelevant to the apology. Apologies are all about catering to the person you hurt. If you apologize but make it about yourself it's not an apology its defending your actions.

And I know bloodrose she is reasonable. That's why I told her to take a break. I know exactly how it is. When people call me out I feel terrible and wanna prove them wrong. I wait a bit and then I see my error and genuinely apologize.

I know bloodrose and she genuinely cares. I'm not too worried. I think she will come back genuinely apologize and I bet asterism will be okay with that. So it should be mostly problem solved.

I think our disagreements are with you maybe not getting the subtext of the apology. But our message is the same. I appreciate your comment. I'm glad you added.

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[deleted] wrote (edited )

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