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OldHippieChick wrote (edited )

It's hard to believe that I lived for a full year after losing my kids to somebody's damned war.

I still don't know why or how or whether my youngest, who some of you know online as Malus Pesto, is still alive. I do know how corrupt the Localville PD is and how unlikely it is that his body will ever be found.

It's the kind of "normal" shit that happens all the time, but we all accept that it only happens to people who are "other" in some way or another.

The secondary wounding was intense.

I think I'm supposed to have some sort of plans, like convincing some shrink I'm crazy so I can get $900 a month disability (rent is more like $2,000 in Localville) or trying to convince someone I say "Ya want fries with that?" the right way so I can save my paycheck in a moldy mayonaisse jar in the back of my closet and dream about having enough to purchase fake plastic teeth.

Fuck that shit.

All I really care about is tramping through the forest with small, furry animals and not being an asshole. I don't particularly want human friends any more, just pleasant, shallow interactions.

No idea if the rest of the world has declared that the US has fallen yet or not.The damned thing fell on my family and broke it.

This post would be a lot funnier if I quoted Bridget Jones' diary and ended with "pashme bottla brandee" but fuck that shit. I've written enough funny posts on the internet for one lifetime.

It's nice to see my Raddle peeps growing like weed legal recreational products of the cannabis industry .

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bloodrose wrote

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you with your children. I can't imagine. I can't even cope with tv shows or movies that play on a parent losing a child without absolutely losing my shit and bawling like a baby. I offer you my love and sympathy for what it's worth.

I don't particularly want human friends any more, just pleasant, shallow interactions.

I've been really feeling this sentiment lately. I had someone I thought was a very close friend turn out to be a monster when I showed human weakness...and it didn't make me yearn for better friends, it just made me want to have none. Maybe I'll get over the loss and want a friend again, but for now, just some pleasant shit would be nice.

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Raven wrote

There is no shame in faking disability support, you need it. My aunt wasn't supposed to be on mental disability but she faked it anyway, did it so well as a schizo and got monthly $800 and a public housing place to live. She also worked under the table to get extra cash.

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OldHippieChick wrote

Apologies if my post came off as judgemental towards your aunt and others who are just doing what they have to do to survive.

That was not my intention.

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Raven wrote

No problem at all, sorry for my wording. What I mean is that you totally deserve the disability support, I was under assumption that you hesitated about it. My apology.

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OldHippieChick wrote

I'm not disabled.

My kid was abducted a year ago and the fucking cops didn't do their jobs.

Money doesn't bring dead kids back to life.

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mofongo wrote

It's my birthday!

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Cheeks wrote

Being an anarchist and dating in your 40's sucks.

I dated this girl for a few months that I've known for about a decade, but haven't seen her in about 7 years. We use to do a lot of drugs together back then. She almost died last year and got clean. She came to a bar I hangout out while i was playing pool and recognized me, I always liked her so I started flirting with her. Turned out we are both clean sans the alcohol, and both always into each other. We became a couple in a couple of weeks. Then after two months it all just got weird one day. She ditched me on one of the few days we get to hangout. I honestly think she was using again and just didn't want to face me though I would have been there for her. I made it known that I wouldn't ever be second string to that kinda shit moving forward in life from the get go. But, of course, I was never accusatory and just pointed out that she needed to more effort into us hanging out because I'm not interested in just having, what equated to a sexual partner a couple a times a week.. Sucks. I really liked her. She did help me regain confidence that I've been lacking over the past 5 years. But it's been three weeks and Im now at a point where I have a healthy sexual life again. But i want a partner. I don't expect it to be for life but someone to lean on me and fore to lean on in this stupid world.

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OldHippieChick wrote

50s turned out to be better than 40s in my case. I'm not sure how helpful that is. I mostly gave up on having any sort of healthy sex life and went for appreciation of beauty and gratitude when young friends had things turn out better.

As far as companionship, I did something I never imagined I would want to do and got a dog.

It doesn't shit all over me anywhere near as much as my dating partners always did. I still have crushes and notice interesting people, I just don't expect or want much from relationships with humans any more.

I enjoy hiking near the local university and consider the entire student body "my kids". but I wouldn't want to have to remember all of their names.

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[deleted] wrote

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Cheeks wrote (edited )

I'm non-binary. I get what youre saying, but in this case it's not that, though I hear you regarding cis-hetero-normative. My last girlfriend, we lived alone together for 5 years with separate bedrooms. I'm not exactly typical.

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yaaqov wrote

...we lived alone together... with separate bedrooms.

Can I ask a little about this? My partner and I are hopefully moving in together soon, and this is what we want from the beginning. How was that experience?

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bloodrose wrote

I'm not Cheeks, but I can tell you my experience. I am a light sleeper and so sharing a bed with another human is very difficult. I keep trying and in the end, the relationships where i have lived with someone eventually turns into we each have our own beds. People believe this hurts intimacy and I think it can if you let it. I think making sure you have some other replacement for intimacy in your relationship is good, whatever that means to you (cuddles, sex, talking, whatever your jam is). This morning I walked by my husband's room and thought, "oh, he's so cute sleeping" then he farted and snored and I thought it was very funny that I got to be thankful to not have to sleep next to that first thing today.

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Cheeks wrote

It's an ideal situation for me, usually. It really depends on you and your partner. As u/bloodrose has pointed out, intimacy is multifaceted and doesn't have to suffer. On nights that your work, hobbies, and volunteering lives allow you to spend time together, make a routine of spending the last couple of hours cuddling and talking or watching a movie. My ex used to wake up a couple hours before me a few days a week. On those days, when she would hear my alarm, she would crawl into my bed and throw her arms around me while I hit snooze for the next 10 minutes. We both got a good night's rest and I still got to wake up next to her. Just like all relationships, intimate or not, the little things go a long way. If the two of you have different sleeping patterns or sleep hygiene issues, or if either of you generally need your own space to be alone and recharge, I definitely suggest separate bedrooms.

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bloodrose wrote

Getting some improvement in my health. I'm really excited about that.

My cats have started to sleep in my room. They have been banned for the last 7 years but the kiddo keeps opening my door and letting them in.

My boss goes on maternity leave in a month. She is starting to be nice and give advice instead of bullying and being demeaning. I think she is feeling like she is giving me parting wisdom as I doubt we'll be working together again (she will probably look for another job while out on leave).

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OldHippieChick wrote (edited )

I hope the sound of purring helps your insomnia as much as it does my own. Getting your health back is exciting and amazing.

I took this picture of my kitten for you:

https://coinsh.red/ipfs/QmcGr3fXYe9nXQUQ56EaagaCWKB2in9PXQ4oVukTNL7gMC

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bloodrose wrote

It most definitely does not. I need a cold quiet place alone to sleep. Thankfully, they are sleeping at the foot of my bed and seem to be smart enough not to walk on my bed during my sleeping hours.

That kitten is awesome! I wish mine would go on a harness for walkies!! So fun!!

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NOISEBOB wrote

I'm planning to drink a litre of ketchup today.

For the sake of art.

Ketchup, disguised as the blood of the working class.

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bloodrose wrote

I have acid reflux in sympathy for you, my friend.

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NOISEBOB wrote

Success!

It wasn't so bad... the taste lingers for some time, tho.

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rot wrote

it's gonna be interesting when it passes through to say the least 0_0

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heckthepolice2 wrote

School started up again. Almost all of my friends graduated so now it's like, damn, I realy have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known again already? I only got the rewards of being loved for like, a year

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rot wrote

i can relate. back in highschool all my friends were a two or three grades ahead of me and graduated before me

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