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existential1 wrote

Shoutout to the dev team for adding functionality on mobile. My lazy ass hasn't contributed one line of code even though I could. So much love and appreciation for those that have and do.


PerfectSociety wrote (edited )

I feel strange. A mixture of happiness and sadness. I feel happy with what's going on in my personal life - the occupation I've wanted and worked towards for past several years is now mine, an awesome girlfriend, and celebrating with my friends the past few weeks and continuing onward. I also feel sad in that I feel like I can't do anything on a macro scale to fix this world that I live in. There is so much suffering, anguish, betrayal, exploitation, death, conflict of interest, etc... And I just don't know what to do. I know that nothing anyone is proposing right now will work. The economic forces that dominate our world today are just too entrenched, too powerful, and too self-enforcing to be overthrown by conscious projects of directed action. I know that all of this will come to an end and Property, Capitalism, and the State will all die in the future. What comes afterwards will either be liberating or utter annihilation and extinction. I don't think I'll see this in my lifetime. I feel that my lifetime will be dominated by a Late Stage Capitalism that continually sucks the hopes, dreams, and fun out of people's lives. Cynicism and Narcissism will magnify. And I will have to watch all of this knowing that all the hopes and dreams people have every decade or so that they put into this or that political leader, revolution, strike, etc... will all be for nothing. I'll have to watch as people realize crushing disappointment and letdowns decade after decade after decade. New hopes being born and then dying. The spark in people's eyes disappearing as they grow older and wearier, due to assimilating into this disgusting system and then letting their cynicism run wild.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like there's a transhistorical chess match going on but without any players. It's a clusterfuck of emergent processes shaping one another and everything else. History unfolding in a particular way and here I am stuck in an era of nothing but utter disappointment. The late stage of capitalism. A stage where I will not see any hopes succeed but only shine brightly for an instant and then fade into the darkness once again. A stage most aptly described as "so close, yet so far from post-capitalism". I know what's going on, but I can't do anything to impact it on any meaningful scale.

Practicing medicine is my passion, but is playing a metaphorical game of wack-a-mole the only thing I'll ever be cut out for? Is that all there is to my life? Someone is suffering and I alleviate their suffering. In a best case scenario they then go out into the world functioning yet again but then become a victim of the system in other ways and assimilate into it only to perpetuate its horrors out of seeming necessity and desperation.

In theory it seems easy to just say "fuck it all, I'll just enjoy my personal life and stop giving a shit about all this other stuff", but I know that I just can't do that. I can't completely wall myself off from these insights I've gained over the big picture and the significance of them. I know all this stuff and I just can't make myself ignore it even if I wanted to.

So what should I do? What can I even do?


bloodrose wrote

I don't have an answer for you, friend. I feel the same way. I vacillate between "we're saving up money and we're gonna get some acres and we're going to re-green/permie something" and "fuck it, the world is burning, I should take my kid to Disneyland as much as she wants before it's all gone."


PerfectSociety wrote

My tentative plans are as follows: Join a commune, teach people basic medical skills and DIY stuff like alternatives to the Epi-Pen, grow food with permaculture and give away surplus, partake in Really Really Free Markets or something equivalent, etc...


Tequila_Wolf wrote

My general solution is to try to find things with others that allow you to grow your collective capacity to affect the world. What that looks like for each of us is different.


ziq wrote

Postmill 2.0 people!

Search is still being worked on though.


GaldraChevaliere wrote

I want to start writing smut again. I have a thing for my pirate and my friend's bard two thirds of the way done but I didn't have the energy to finish it, and I promised my girlfriend I'd do one for my knight and her werewolf or else for her tailor, but I don't really know where to start.

There used to be That Guy in my old group who was one of those "don't talk about your fag sex in my presence ever" types and I kind of want to rub it in his face that the campaigns run and played by a bunch of horny queer people have lasted longer and had better character development than anything he'd ever been in.

I take a weird kind of pleasure in finding out from friends still in those circles that people I used to hang out with who mistreated me are doing badly. Not like, in peril, but that they haven't grown and their lives remain shitty and unfulfilling. It's nice to be better than someone for once.


bloodrose wrote

Yay for people who write up the cool stuff in their tabletop campaigns. It's been years since I had a regular gaming group and we would've made a great comedic read. Now I only remember the highlights. Like when we moved to GURPS and had to have more fleshed out characters and one player had their language as "English (accented)". The accent was all over the place and we asked him what was up with the accent and he pointed out that the character sheet didn't say which accent just that it was English - Accented!! I wish someone had written up our campaigns.


bloodrose wrote

Had to interact directly with the CEO of our company last night. I hate talking to people in authority. It is anxiety inducing. I started feeling a cold come on this morning. I think the anxiety weakened my immune system.

My grandma broke her hip and my 4 year-old overheard me telling my husband that when elderly people break their hips, death follows and she got really concerned that she wouldn't get to see her great-grandma again before she died. So we're gonna go see her this weekend because watching my daughter self-soothe herself broke my hear (she self-talked "okay, take a deep breath" it was intense).


ziq wrote

Threadbot is alive..?


mofongo wrote (edited )

On one hand, I dislike the minimalist design, it broke my theme in new ways and there's no raddle logo.

On the other, there's no white space which is nice, I no longer have to fix some things on my theme.

Edit: I swear I thought I replied to the other comment.


nbdy wrote

Why do riot cops go to work early?