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kore wrote

These discussions remind me of a classic Daoist discussion of water:

Under heaven nothing is more soft and yielding than water. Yet for attacking the solid and strong, nothing is better; It has no equal. The weak can overcome the strong; The supple can overcome the stiff. Under heaven everyone knows this, Yet no one puts it into practice. Therefore the sage says: He who takes upon himself the humiliation of the people is fit to rule them. He who takes upon himself the country's disasters deserves to be king of the universe. The truth often sounds paradoxical.

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An_Old_Big_Tree OP wrote

I hadn't thought about it in these terms, but I'm glad somebody read this. I think there's a lot of important things to be said for a radical softness politics for many people.

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kore wrote

One of the shortcomings of using the words "soft" and "tender" to describe these emotions traditionally considered feminine is that many of the feelings are actually very intense. As mentioned in the article, the "hardness" is an illusion (c.f. talk of how fragile masculinity is). Grief and isolation are particularly hard feelings.

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kore wrote

I was socialized as a boy. Hardness is the main thing I've had to unlearn.

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