Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

ziq wrote (edited )

Just emptied my bank account and loaned money from my dad to buy batteries for my solar system, my last set of batteries only lasted 4.2 years. This time I'm getting a name brand in the hopes they'll last longer, because disposing of toxic batteries every few years makes captain planet wince.

In other news, I found cans of tomato paste for just 65 cents each and stocked up for the rest of the month. I want to start stocking up on canned goods for the future whenever I find them on deep discount.

10

An_Old_Big_Tree wrote

In my limited experience, batteries are a huge problem for people relying on solar power.

7

ziq wrote

The ones I'm going with are supposed to last 8+ years. But heat can drastically shorten the lifetime of batteries, and I've got a lot of that.

4

Green_Razor wrote

You might want to consider getting broken and old laptops and using the batteries from those. Its more work and I'm not sure how long they would last, but since usually even dead laptop batteries only have one or two dead cells it would probably be cheaper.

6

ziq wrote

Every used laptop I've ever used has lasted 20 minutes on a charge, tops. There's also no way to wire them to an inverter afaik.

3

bloodrose wrote

My brother called to tell me he was divorcing his wife. He talked about how depressed he had been for so long. And he told me he didn't even realize he was depressed because he's so introverted, he can't even understand his own feelings. I am so entirely the opposite of him: extrovert with high empathy. I knew he was depressed for years. I just assumed he was dealing with it. I told him I could tell he was depressed and apologized for being a bad sister and not telling him. I mean, we just don't talk. I told him I'd make an effort to check on him more often now. I had no idea he didn't know he was broken. Of course, would he have listened back then? I don't know. But I feel guilty still.

9

[deleted] wrote

7

bloodrose wrote

I asked him to in the future call someone if he feels suicidal again and he said "I'll try." I got older sister stern even though I'm only a year older and said "You can stew all the fuck you want but the second you want to do something with that feeling, you pick up the phone and you call." I don't know why my family is so fucking closed off and wasp-y. I tried to ask him to live with us but my family all wants to be alone in their misery all the time. I don't know how I came out of that family the way I am.

5

[deleted] wrote

6

bloodrose wrote

He was talking some serious bourgeoisie shit about his situation that I realized had to have come from his therapist. It seems to me mental health professionals are there to make sure we keep being able to sell our labor - anything stopping you from that is the problem. My brother got depressed when his work stress overwhelmed him, I think. I think he only had so much emotional bandwidth. But a therapist is never gonna say "stop working for the man, experience life as a human, not a worker." So the solution becomes living alone and not being there for your kids. And I get that some people aren't built for living with others or raising children. And I get that it's his own choice. But I don't think that is what was wrong.

I had a period of not being able to handle it all; and I started to blame my partner for not doing enough. Finally, I realized we were in an unnatural construct. And instead of leaving my partner and daughter, I am working on an escape plan. It's taking too long and that makes me sad but I remember all the time that it is the job that is the problem, not the family. And that makes it sound like I'm projecting on him, I know; but we both do the same type of work in the same area and were raised by the same people so I think the situations are similar.

Anyways, it's just made me hate therapists all the more. As long as we have to sell our labor, I guess there is a need for them.

My mom texted and it turns out he told me because I was talking about holiday plans and she told him that he had to tell me. So, I don't know that he did reach out. But he did stay on the phone for 45 minutes. That's probably longer than I've talked to him in the last decade combined. I'll text him funny shit next week as he is telling his kids this weekend and he'll only see them three days next week. I tried to suggest he live with us but he just wanted to be alone - i guess so he can be a better worker.

3

[deleted] wrote

1

bloodrose wrote

I could believe that. I think I'm just feeling down on it from my own negative experiences with my own therapy and the outcomes of those around me who have gotten therapy. Not saying there isn't a need for mental care or belittling those who need it just that I am unhappy with the type I've seen and had experience with.

2

86944 wrote

It snowed today. I can't find my snow shovel so I had to use a broom. Now the snow turned to rain, so everything is super muddy.

5

An_Old_Big_Tree wrote

Holy shit it feels like the last friday free talk was yesterday.

5

ziq wrote

Remember when time passed way slower and there was actually time for boredom?

6

GaldraChevaliere wrote

Been ill a lot lately. I'm not motivated to go outside because the air quality sucks and there's nowhere to go. She lives somewhere more rural so visiting's a good change of pace.

5

bloodrose wrote

Air quality sucks here, too. I was just thinking I need some outdoors time this weekend because I have been indoors too much lately. And now I can still taste smoke in the office building I'm working in. Hopefully some of it clears by Sunday so I can be outside again. I need outside and dirt and trees and sun.

4

Throwawont wrote

Second time visiting an institution that is a stronghold of white supremacy in the country I live in. Chatted with some people on the inside about things there.

They have a lot of money and technology. In the height of some recent protests, they targeted twelve individuals and either broke into their cars or their homes all in one week, stealing their laptops as part of an overt surveillance attack.

Other people working in the institution have been burgled and their personal laptops stolen but not their work laptops, in a clear indication that their work laptops were an unnecessary steal - because they can just be surveilled through the institution's network from anywhere.

It's surprising that here there's a happily illegalist core of white supremacists who can pull this off and who are tied to the institution and also to the old money of the country as a whole.

Really intense network of cameras across this large institution, HD with zoom so if you want to burn some shit they will show you your face in their video like it's right in front of you. It got some good people in trouble. Overall left me with the clear impression that security culture is no fucking joke and that even in places where surveillance doesn't seem so intense you can find it in paranoid institutions.

Other interesting shit I can't talk about!

5

Faolinbean wrote

How do you all want to be remembered?

I just want people to know I tried

5

An_Old_Big_Tree wrote (edited )

I don't care anymore, I'm just going to do as much as I can until I die, I think.

4

ziq wrote

I already wrote a novel years ago so I'm done on the adding to the human experience part.

1

Pop wrote

The premise of The Denial of Death is that human civilization is ultimately an elaborate, symbolic defense mechanism against the knowledge of our mortality, which in turn acts as the emotional and intellectual response to our basic survival mechanism. Becker argues that a basic duality in human life exists between the physical world of objects and a symbolic world of human meaning. Thus, since humanity has a dualistic nature consisting of a physical self and a symbolic self, we are able to transcend the dilemma of mortality through heroism, by focusing our attention mainly on our symbolic selves. This symbolic self-focus takes the form of an individual's "immortality project" (or "causa sui project"), which is essentially a symbolic belief-system that ensures oneself is believed superior to physical reality. By successfully living under the terms of the immortality project, people feel they can become heroic and, henceforth, part of something eternal: something that will never die as compared to their physical body. This, in turn, gives people the feeling that their lives have meaning, a purpose, and are significant in the grand scheme of things.

4

ziq wrote

Realizing you're not significant is probably the meaning of life.

2

GrimWillow wrote

I have a lot of hope, but a lot of bad feelings about the future. I have plenty of friends and intimacy, but somehow still feeling lonely. I know what I need to do in my life, but I'm losing a lifestyle that offered me the freedom that enabled healing in my life.

I feel like I'm in limbo waiting for a great change. I need to discard a lot of ideas and patterns in my lifestyle that are holding me back. I need to nurture the effective Anarchist in my mind and unleash the passion at the center of someone engaged in active war.

3