You can do it. You can get over these ludicrous, primal urges that you know will leave you feeling as empty and cold as before. Shut down your computer and walk away from this situation. You are probably surrounded with tissues and lube at this moment. The door is probably locked, lights out with your belt unbuckled, your jeans pulled down to your ankles.
This isn't a fun place to be; a complete contrast to the days, weeks or even months you've engaged in this lifestyle, reaped the rewards of putting fulfilment before pleasure, learnt about yourself, stepped out of your comfort circle and felt yourself growing with each day that passes. Why throw it away? You may have already started edging, that same, tsunami of dopamine flooding into your brain, that pornstar you've been thinking about for weeks if not months is right in front of you, on a screen.
Does this feel good? Does it feel pleasurable knowing that soon as you blow your load you will get rid of everything you've worked for? The very essence of your life and sunlight deposited into a crusty tissue or sock? You know the answer.
I know the answer because a week ago I was in your position. And for the first time since I've started this journey; edging and watching porn did not end with me throwing it all away. I also felt that drug pumping through my temple. My dopamine receptors getting weaker by the second, the reality of me throwing it all away and saying "Fuck it." But, for the first time, I closed the tabs of online-cocaine, shut down my computer, pulled my pants up and went outside. In the days that followed, I still felt the effects from slipping up and edging, but not nearly as much if I had gone all the way, as I'm sure you're very close to doing. Yesterday I visited a friend, helped him set up his audio system, helped my grandmother with her groceries, went boxing, went for a run, worked on my business before going on a date with an amazing girl. If I didn't walk away from my computer a week ago, my presence, confidence and ultimately the quality of my life would have been compromised for a few fleeting seconds of ejaculative sneeze.
You deserve a life of happiness and prosperity, unhindered by the darkness of carnal pleasures. If, right this instance, you can walk away from the clutches of the porn industry when it's staring at you straight in the face, when you're an inch away from doing the deed and completely relapsing; you will have developed a level of self-restraint that millions of people around the world can only dream of. An empowerment over your sexual urges that men have perished throughout history without coming close to experiencing.
Every single second starting from now, 30,000 new users around the globe will begin to watch porn. You don't need to be one of them. If you do this; if you turn off your computer right now and walk away, you will literally be that one in a million who chose to say no to their caveman urges. You will probably have to reset your badge, and most probably have some brain fog as a result of what you've already done, your primal brain outraged, screaming at you to turn the computer back on and finish what you've started. But I know you can ignore it, and deep down you know you have the courage to remove yourself from this situation. Change is scary. A veil of smoke and mist compared to the comforts you've known since the dawning of your adolescence and sexual maturity, but you will never know what's on the other side if you don't take a stand for once and say no to your emotional brain. Go on, go about your life and enjoy the real world outside of your darkened room. The choice is completely in your hands.
You know what needs to be done. Get on with it.