I'm sad because Its difficult to get a job for me whose age in 30s and have tatto.

Enjoying my last days of freedom before working. Been in the woods yesterday and saw the forester with 2 large greyhounds, or some similar type of dog, thought it was strange, the Germans tell me its normal, but I'm sure I've never seen a forester with dogs before.

Found a place in the woods nearby with these tiny wild European blueberries too, in a couple months they will fruit and I will eat blueberry pancakes.

Tomorrow, someone who used to live here who I'm kind of unhappy with will come and we will work in the garden together, hope it will go well.

Edit also on May 8, I guess its some holiday for the end of WW2 here in Germany. I went on a antifa-bike-tour in a nearby city to a couple of Holocaust memorials, at the last one we visited, there was a memorial event happening, and I was unimpressed with the very liberal shit the speakers were saying there, but it was kind of interesting to see how the Germans are doing Holocaust memorials. Was embarassed to find out the flag someone gave me to carry was the socialist youth flag.

Sorry, what kind of work are you looking for? Can you get some kind of benefits/unemployment in your country?

The other day i saw someone with a bunch of face tattoos and it didn’t even catch me off guard, i’m one of the few people who i know who don't have a single tattoo.

A couple of the people I’ve worked with recently have face, neck, hand tattoos etc.

Depending on where you live the stigma is changing.

Best of luck, some people aren’t ready to face their biases, and a lot of business owners are cowards who live in a bubble with their other rich friends who don’t know what regular people are like…

Been buying too many records again, need to do another garage sale… maybe this time ill do it at a park.

Last one i advertised online as a garage sale of former record store stock, i sold over $1000 of records in one day in my backyard…

lol, "former record store stock" as in "I bought these once"

I got pierced ears, kind of wild. Ears feel a bit sore.

I still havent figured out what to get wife for mothers day, got to figure that out fast. I kind of hate holidays, always obligated to spend money and I really dont want to. idk, maybe greedy but if I am going to spend money I would rather spend it on myself.

Kiddo and I had fun listening to nightwish yesterday. She wants me to see her bike riding skills, I guess her preschools been doing a lot of bike riding so she has gotten pretty good at it.

Baby has been extra clingly lately. several teeth coming in at once for the poor little one. Baby really likes to dance its been cute to watch.

Decided I need to get outside more. Spend all day every day inside. gets depressing

I am confused at what bit or angle you have and why you keep coming back.

If you want to repent, you must first pent.

Markets start tomorrow. I'll be slangin vegan food all summer.

For some reason my kid keeps waking up before 5am thinking it's time to jump on people and blabber.

NBA playoffs been wild so far this year.

Got covd for the first time a few weeks ago, I still have a weird cough and get stomach aches. I've never had stomach aches before so hopefully this doesn't stick around.

Started using a sinus rinse before bed and when I wake up. There's a disgusting amount of mucus when I wake up. I get that it has a job, but it's gross too.

Getting into Buddhism is so... liberating, and... awakening. That is in the name, though...

But aside from that, I have been thinking back to Zhuangzi, and realising that the messages are eerily similar, or just similar. On one page is a description of meditative dhyana; now I read back to the stories of the giant gourd and the gnarly tree, and realise that Zhuang Zhou isn't just mocking Huizi's lack of creativity, but liberating us from obligations to be of use, and giving a metaphor of how these self-imposed obligations hurt us--smashing us or cutting us down. Buddha would call it craving becoming, I think: a desire to be something else, somewhere else, having this or that, and describe how craving leads to clinging, and clinging to suffering. (I think that's how it went?)

Now you have this big tree, and you’re distressed because it’s useless. Why don’t you plant it in Not-Even-Anything Village or the field of Broad- and-Boundless, relax and do nothing by its side, or lie down for a free and easy sleep under it? Axes will never shorten its life, nothing can ever harm it. If there’s no use for it, how can it come to grief or pain?

So I began explaining and kept at him for three days, and after that he was able to put the world outside himself. When he had put the world outside himself, I kept at him for seven days more, and after that he was able to put things outside himself. When he had put things outside himself, I kept at him for nine days more, and after that he was able to put life outside himself. After he had put life outside himself, he was able to achieve the brightness of dawn, and when he had achieved the brightness of dawn, he could see his own aloneness. After he had managed to see his own aloneness, he could do away with past and present, and after he had done away with past and present, he was able to enter where there is no life and no death. That which kills life does not die; that which gives life to life does not live. This is the kind of thing it is: there’s nothing it doesn’t send off, nothing it doesn’t welcome, nothing it doesn’t destroy, nothing it doesn’t complete. Its name is Peace-in-Strife. After the strife, it attains completion.

First, a description of deep meditation; second, a description of the Deathless (nibbana/nirvana); third, what might possibly describe "right effort" leading to the ending of effort, to peace.

Any work. My country dont give any benefit. I live near fields/paddy. Instead of shoplift maybe i will try to steal vegetables from fields.

I'm doing a co-op for college on a research farm that specializes in apple breeding. I am stuck here for a third of a year and am absolutely miserable seeing the daily ecocide that I am witnessing and engaging in. Every day half of the rows are sprayed with one out of a dozen or so pesticides/fungicides, and I've found dozens of dead birds around the property. I very much hate it here.