What's an interesting conversation you had this week? Either on your own or with someone or something else. Or what's an interesting thing you communicated or expressed or experienced communications from or expressed with?
And like I've known this for a long time too, but I am also starting to really get it now.
Marriage is also BS. Like a key part of marriage is to enforce that everyone follows their assigned roles. That people work, and reproduce, and be law abiding, and stick to the gender the state has carved out for them. and the more I realize that the more weird my life feels.
the more I realize that the more weird my life feels.
An entire universe of possibilities within the entity that is you, and you decide to watch the Mario Movie. Weird is an understatement.
Haha, you always pick on me for the strangest stuff. I probably have a ton of easy targets and you always pull out the unexpected on me.
tuesday OP wrote
watching your growth has been really spectacular tbh
Aw, thanks. <3
The self-centered part of me is like "YES, please elaborate, tell me how spectacular I am"
The other self-centered part is like "I feel like I am dancing in circles, can't be too spectacular"
Either way I will take the compliment.
"I feel like I am dancing in circles, can't be too spectacular"
I feel this... But this is the internet, so we see the bestest, most spectacular version of you.
Certainly you see the parts of me I don't truly allow the rest of the world to see, whatever those parts are collectively.
tuesday OP wrote
i'm really high and thinking about a conversation i had about the variety of experiences people have within marginalized communities. and how we could all stand to be more considering of another's history and experiences with their marginalization. and not over look the actual horror of the things that we've allowed to become background noise to the every day churn of oppression. we get used to really terrible things.
the things that we've allowed to become background noise
what do you have in mind?
tuesday OP wrote
Specifically I'm thinking about Sundown Towns and how the experience of a black person from the South who has always lived with the reality of being in a town that was historically a Sundown Town or with them being near by is going to be vastly different from the experience of a black person from a major metro Northern city with a large black population. Their experience of being in a place that was historically a Sundown Town is going to be so different because that trauma isn't one that they're used to being in the middle of.
I don’t talk (or post) much these days. Which means no interesting conversations. Which means I’m boring …
kano wrote (edited )
This is a topic that I keep coming back to. Its kind of about this distinction between migrants/immigrants/refugees/asylum seekers and how that relates to me personally, and its one I have conversations with some people around me fairly often. And would be interested to hear what you all think about it.
So as some background I came up in the USA and left when I turned 18. I left because at that point I could see that the country is fascist and I felt that the future I had there was to be perpetually in debt, always needing to work, not having the chance to own property, and since I was at that point already doing illegal shit to make money, I felt like I was going to get caught eventually and end up in jail. So I left for Europe, conveniently having a second passport, took a student loan from the US government and used it to fund my university education in England. The other benefit here is that the US government can't find me and make me pay the loan back.
So as far as I'm concerned I'm living in exile, I can't really go back because well the country is fascist, the prisons are overflowing, and I have a huge amount of debt waiting for me there. and I don't think my situation is the same as people coming from SWANA and sub saharan Africa, but I think there are similarities there. Because I feel like I can't go back or can't accept the conditions I would be faced with if I went back. And I hear German people saying nasty ass shit about the foreigners, and on one hand I think they are generally speaking about who people aren't white which doesn't include me, but still hearing this kind of stuff makes me feel unwelcome here, and also scared because when you hear me speak you already know that am a foreigner and I ain't trying to get beat by the Nazis here either. And I always have State institutions treating me in a way I find discriminatory, like I have been in situations where I have been in groups of people being stopped by the cops, and they always let the Germans go first, and its always me and the other foreigners who get questioned for longer. Or I have been in situations where I need to do bureaucratic shit, and couldn't speak the language, and the government official doesn't care, they just speak to you in German even though you obviously don't understand. I have also violated laws and shit and been fined a lot of money because I didn't speak German at the time and didn't realise I had violated until they were already fining me.
So I definitely have the feeling that I'm being discriminated against here because I came from somewhere else, that I have to justify why I'm here and that a lot of the German anarchists when I talk about this stuff always tell me that I'm a privileged immigrant, which I don't disagree with at all, but I feel like they use that as a reason to not take what I'm saying seriously. And furthermore the first people who made me feel welcome in Germany or who became my friends in Germany were the Africans and the Turks, and not the Germans.
So I feel like there are some commonalities between my situation and that of other foreigners in Germany, regardless of percieved status, and that the Germans who have spent their whole life in this country and never left or felt like they had to leave discount my experience on the basis of my privileged background. which pisses me off, and my experience with other foreigners in Germany is completely different in that regard. I think my privilege comes from the fact that I had a second passport and could afford to migrate legally, and am white, but now that I'm on the ground in this country, I feel like I'm also being treated worse because I happened to have come from somewhere else. and I think that thinking through this stuff also shows why the categorisations of immigrant/migrant/refugee/asylum speaker is kind of bullshit. That despite my privilege in terms of nationality and race I still face issues as a foreigner here kind of proves that these lines only really serve the state and not anyone else. I mean I also have worked for companies that definitely hired me and other foreigners because they could get away with paying us less, then they could with native Germans. So I can see that as far as the state is concerned my reason for being here is just to work or contribute to the economy, or provide cheap labour.
That turned out long dk if its interesting or not, but this topic weighs on my mind a lot.
I'm back at school this week after a two week break for easter and I forgot how draining I find it. Fortunately I'll be finishing school relatively soon tho
tuesday OP wrote
i have like three weeks left of class. I'm unprepared to not be a student anymore.
I only have like three weeks left too sort of. After that I'll be on study leave for exams.
And personally I'm happy that I won't be a student anymore but it is kind of scary at the same time haha
For me it's always flamenco Monday's
asterism wrote (edited )
I know I already posted about this. But I just posted the rest of my selfies on Mastodon like 5 minutes ago so I am talking about it again.
Trying on dresses was really fun. Like I didn't expect it to be that fun. I was mostly just doing it in silent resistance to my wife but I ended up actually enjoying it.
I don't know in a funny way I think being asked over and over if I was trans really helped the whole gender nihilism thing sink in. (Wednesday was a big part of this too as they made a post in response to my frustration with being asked in a panic if I was trans for like the fifth time) Like I got it before but now I really really get it. Like there are whole worlds out there that people are barred from for all sorts of bullshit reasons and we can really enjoy and explore them all if we can just manage to cut through the BS.
Like life is so interesting but is often made boring, you know what I mean.
I probably am being over optimistic but whatevs.