Food and eating is really hard. I wish i had proper help

Just finished an over 8000 kilometer journey to a very large city only somewhat by choice. Will be here a few weeks helping a family member move in then I get to make the return trip alone.

Squawk

I feel like people were interrupting me all week. Sometimes I think there's phases where my voice just doesn't register for ppl or the fact that I'm halfway thru a sentence just doesn't matter... Bleh
Enjoyed a lot of the convos on here this week though

3 year into Covid, and I feel like we've yet to appreciate th massive excess death rate globally and how that's going to effect things for a long time.

I went to a psychologist today, for the first time in my life. But despite telling them about an episode of suicidal thoughts that I projected online some years back, my several friends who have died to suicide, and my general disgust for society and work, all they seemed to be worried about was my drug and alcohol use. And they told me that the process of figuring out if I am on the autism spectrum or not involves me being institutionalized for longer than a week, without access to any drugs.

So I refused those terms and will probably never find out, "officially", if I'm too weird and fucked up for this life. But that's fine. I prefer to stay outside of the state's attention either way.

Cheers and good weekend to all. Next week I got work on a monday, so it's gonna be a blue one.

Seems like there's no classic sitcom that doesn't have at least 1 transphobic episode. Even Wings, which had that groundbreaking anti-homophobia episode later had an obscenely transphobic one. Let's see if Newsradio does better.

I just got finished with my second week at work.

I really enjoy my job, which feels weird to say, especially since it feels like I'm functionally beating my head against a wall. But the clients feel seen and heard and that matters to me, and to them. Even if I can't ultimately do anything to stop the state at least someone saw them.

But fuck if this isn't heavy work.

My cousins ex wife who I'm still very close with has been slowly dissolving. My cousin and her moved far away from home to be in a poly relationship. The situation was toxic from the start, but it all got worse when whe got pregnant with the other guys kid. My cousin was so mad at her. The four ended up just switching partners and hating the other couple. Then her baby daddy broke up with her and she moved back home (where i live) once the baby was born. She has developed a pretty terrible drinking problem through all of this. Then she got raped in December. I just found out today that last week a male friend of 10+ years who has also been spiraling into alcoholism came to her place shit faced and beat the shit out of her when she said something he didn't like. She is dissolving as a human being, despondent. Sometimes our conversations just devolve into thought loops going around and around and I can't break the cycle. I worry that her drinking will get her kid taken away.

Her family sucks, and she doesn't have anybody except for me and my parents, but we don't know what to do. I almost can't believe the world can be so cruel to someone. I'm in recovery and I've tried so many times to get her to come to meetings with me, but she always flakes out last minute. I got her to agree to go to a progressive queer recovery group tomorrow, and I've lined up a backup babysitter so she has no reason to back out, but I just don't know if it's enough. I don't know how I can help her.

finished my batocera set up. my old haswell nuc. astro city mini arcade stick. no consoles, just arcade (final burn neo plus other emulators for naomi, triforce and atomiswave), video thumbnails, and I kept the list to 300 games so I can actually scroll through them without it taking an age. also had to use mame for two games finalburn didn't support (bubble bobble: lost cave and mr driller).

it's not a MiSTer but it'll do