Submitted by annikastheory in lobby

I've been ignoring these call since at least mid-November. She's been calling at minimum 3-4 times a day. Sometimes up to 8-10 times a day. She has called me several times at 1 or 4 in the morning. She sees nothing wrong with her current behavior at all.

I found out today (from my wife) that her primary motive is to evangelize to me (Wife spilled the beans to my parents awhile back about me not being a Christian).

At this point I am going to hell out of spite.

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moonlune wrote

At this point I am going to hell out of spite.

let's all meet up right after the styx and party :)

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Vulgar_Soda wrote

Change your number and only initiate contact via Halo Master Chief Collection. If your Mom wants to push Jesus, she needs to learn push some buttons first.

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lettuceLeafer wrote

Damn that sound incredibly annoying and a bit alarming. What was your last phone call with her like? And have u like cut off ur mom or are u just ignoring her calls.

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annikastheory OP wrote

My thing is that I will call on Holidays and that's it. That is how it has been for awhile. I talked to my mom on both Thanksgiving and Christmas and I've told her more than once not to call me incessantly and that I will be the one to initiate phone calls. This is an instance of her knowingly disrespecting my boundaries, as she always does.

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friendly_raddler wrote (edited )

that sounds sad. at first i wonder if there was any backstory, a previous fight where you cut ties. i usually pick up or call back if call is insistent and i don't have alternate means of communication, like in-person. i wouldn't worry about hell so much but her well-being if you do still care about her. call her at 1 or 4 in the morning then hang up. then call her for real and tell her you love her and then hang up. or if you hate ur mom, burn a church and send her pics, do facetime

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annikastheory OP wrote

I neither hate nor love my mom though I think I cared about her once.

She just is.

No not much backstory here, I don't fight with my parents hardly ever. I used to give a shit about my family, like way too much had a freaking savior complex at one point. I even did like intervention style shit with my mom to get her to take some major health issues seriously. But they are who they are. My mom especially is unwilling to change to great detriment to herself.

She's going through a lot of shit that she inflicted upon herself (that I went through great pains most of my life to warn her about) and she wants me to be her emotional outlet. But I have no interest in doing that. If I talked to her today on the phone (even if I did so for hours upon hours) she would still call me 3-4 times tomorrow and the next day ad infinitum.

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anarcho_thembo wrote

I'm waiting for the intervention for my soul from my sister who has been getting more and more evangelical.

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annikastheory OP wrote (edited )

There is a part of me that wants to type a fire and brimstone mini sermon in response to what you said (as a joke).

But I am afraid I would do it too well and that scares me.

There has to be a copypasta of something like that right?

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anarcho_thembo wrote (edited )

We just had a conversation recently where she said that she was really concerned about the state of my father's soul and how she was so sad that he, as a Catholic, was upset that she wanted to get a "real Christian baptism" (her words), after her actual Catholic baptism as a baby.

I had a very very hard time not rolling my eyes when she started to tear up about it, "I just want to make sure I can see him in heaven, you know?"

So really I'm just waiting for her to get around to me and my weirdo atheist "soul".

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bloodrose wrote

"I just want to make sure I can see him in heaven, you know?"

I hear wording like this from Christian a LOT. And I don't think it means what the words together sound like they mean. I think what is really being communicated when people say this is a rejection sensitivity. If everyone is on board with their beliefs, then the speaker isn't being rejected and so everything is a-okay. If people have different beliefs, the speaker thinks they must be thinking bad things about them/about to reject them.

Conversely, I also see this from people who are quick to reject people and are thus projecting unto others what they would be feeling/doing in the same situation. So, while I can see their fear in the statement, I rarely can feel empathy. In fact, statements like those are, to me, a red flag that someone cannot be trusted. And since I have impulse control issues with my speech, I will avoid someone who has said those words because I know it will only be a matter of time before they turn on me.

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anarcho_thembo wrote

It's brainwashing.

There's something particular about the nondenominational version of xtianity that does this to people.

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friendly_raddler wrote

expecting another call? why did your wife tell them? was she counting on this intervention hoping it might work?

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annikastheory OP wrote

lol the person you responded to ain't me and I ain't the person you responded to.

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throwaway wrote

The person you responded to didn't respond to me, and I'm not the person you responded to, yet I'm here responding to you.

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friendly_raddler wrote

oooooops!

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annikastheory OP wrote (edited )

But my wife told my parents and some friends of ours I think because she panicked and she was just wanting people to pray for me I guess.

She wasn't expecting this response from my mom but she really should have.

Edit: the irony is I accidentally evangelized my sister so shortly after I stopped being a Christian she started thinking about being one again.

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friendly_raddler wrote

stressful. at least you’re an independent adult not at their mercy. hard when children and teens go thru this and have no escape living with their over-controlling parents etc.

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annikastheory OP wrote

When we all lived there my older siblings had it way worse than I did. In part because my dad mellowed out by the time I came around and in part because they had their teenage rebellion and I didn't. Also my sister had it the hardest from my mom because my sister was female I think.

My niece and nephew live with my parents though and I have a feeling my niece is going through a heck of a time.

But the calling shit is unique to me. Probably because I am, somehow, still the golden child.

Family dynamics eh? Also known as things I ain't doing as a parent.

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friendly_raddler wrote

yeah that's usually the case that parents are stricter on the first siblings and become more lenient as the go. do you live far away from your parents then? imagine if she'd just show up at your house every day unannounced instead of calling you

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loukanikos wrote

Sorry you have to deal with that. That's real shitty of her

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potatoes wrote

Hello? Are you the future version of me?

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annikastheory OP wrote (edited )

I don't know but just in case.

You get your first gray hair shortly after you turn 18. You really start to get that peppered look in your 20's.

Don't go to college

Also drink more water and take better care of your teeth and don't wait to go to the doctor to get that thing checked out.

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annikastheory OP wrote

I ain't going into much more detail than I do in this comment. But the incessant calls were bothering me more than I realized. And to put this as vaguely as possible. There is also a second running issue that has been going on for a few years now. The type of issue that occasionally spills over into my life and becomes my issue to deal with too. and I had to deal with it again today and the combo of those two things has just pushed me over the edge.

I think this may be the second angriest I have been in my life.

I have restraint enough to not call my mom and scream at her (Though I really really want to). But I think I have to set some super strict boundaries and give her an ultimatum. Given that I don't think she will go along with my boundaries I think it is very likely I am going to cut her out of my life for a number of years.

Parents suck, I should have been raised by wolves.

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