So I'm less confused now and think I know the right answer but still not sure. So I went to go see this house today. I had to meet with the land speculator. What made this interesting is that they are black woman (well I don't know their gender but woman in the sense they are are assumed t be one so they suffer from Mysogyny). Give me a sec it will make sense in a bit.
So this person already pissed me off, she had been by far the most rude person to me so far. She is one of the few people who requires them to babysit me while I look thru so I don't steal anything from he empty house which has nothing to steal. I mean that's fine and all but the made it a big pain. Ignores me, I call and schedule then they cancel part minute. Did that twice. Whatever no real big deal tbh but it's still a massive insult.
So I show up 10 minutes early so I don't waste people's time and I can look at stuff. I look around but int he back of my mind I'm like don't look to suspicious if the home owner com s they might glow their fuse at me or might cause probs with neighbors. While it's still a poor black neighborhood it's nice enough area that I consider most of the houses indulgent. Tho this house is just kinda undervalued.
So I wait and I wait and they finally come 15 minutes late in their new gas guzzling truck that no joke cost as much as my living expenses for 5 years. Hell way more valuable than the house.
They they come out and look kinda ridiculous wearing clothes that look way too nice for coming into a dusty deity house. Plus the have a bunch of liberal girl boss buttons on their jacket which has those fashion holes in it.
They don't apologize for me having to wait for 25 minutes on them. But whatever. How I also forgot to mention this is the only house in the block with iron bars on the windows. Which is a incredibly big dick move. Plus this house doesn't have anything worth stealing so it's all to prevent squatters. Their person spent a lot of time and money to make sure the homeless don't live in the home they are leaving vacant. Rather than idk actually puting that effort into selling the house or whatever. So they come to unlock the door they say let me unlock the door. So I come to go step by the porch. Well the key is in a lockbox so I guess she didn't want me within 10 foot of her while putting in the combo bc she barks at me to keep me from coming to the property. So like a child in a corner I stay like 10 foot away facing the other direction like I'm in time out until I get the OK to come out.
It's just typical taking bullshit from rich people bc I'm poor and kinda desperate. We get into the house and more snooty comments and general rudeness steming form her not respecting me or my time at all.
So we finish and I go in my car. And I think to myself. God I wish I could just puch them and steal their stuff. But they would call the shitty cops on me. But then I realized oh God what if I'm actually the oppressive one in this scenario.
A white man punching a black woman for no being overly nice and then taking their things sounds racist and mysogynist. You know women especially black women often get portrayed at brutish men so maybe I'm just projecting that. Am I just reinforcing patriarchy bc I want to beat women who barely graze my weak ego?
I'm a white person going to a black nieghborbood I don't like in and wanting to attack a black person and take their things. That kinda sounds like imperialism. The more I think about it I might be the shitty person. Plus dealing with white men in a male dominated field might make a woman feel like they have to be aggressive to betaken seriously. I mean I did consider them a fool and impractical. Plus women often feel like they have to dress up to be taken seriously in professional environments by men. So is me thinking them dressing like an out of touch rich asshole might just be them coping with patriarchy.
Am I just idolizing me oppressing black women for trying to deal with society the best way they can? Tho if me wanting to rob this black person is me being racist but the threat of the black person calling the cops preventing me from being racist is a correct analysis does that mean that the cops are being anti racist. (I seriously considered this)
No, no that's not right. God I sound like I'm in the alt right. Oh no black women have more power than me and I fear being brutalized by them calling the cops on me. That's fucking fantasy land. Thats not right. Do they even have the ability to call the police on me? Like if I did assault them wouldn't the police just like pat me on the back since their purpose I to hurt black people? Me worrying about black people oppressing me with institutions of white supremacy is ridiculous. So then I think no they treated me like shit and are a rich piece of shit. I'm just letting IDpol trick me into thinking I'm the one actually hurting the person being shitty to me. We now I really do sound like a white nationalist.
Idk I'm just so confused. My brain doesn't currently have the capability to process this type of interaction. It's like when a calculator divides by zero. It's one thing when I work with Rich asshole white people bc I can just be shitty to them but not worry about it. But in this situation I want to be nice as not worry about being any more oppressive than I need to. But also I want to be rude to the people being shitty to me.
But I just sound fucking ridiculous in my head. Ugh this rich black woman is being really fucking awful to me and has a lot of power over me thru the US government bc I sound fucking ridiculous and a cry baby.
God this is actually really fucking confusing. I have no idea how I should process this or feel and it really fucking sucks. I think I was just treated like shit and shouldn't worry about it but I can't be sure.
Edit: just to be clear I'm not trying to do satire or critique ID Pol here. I'm being 100 percent serious. And not trying to belite anyone. Tho maybe the title was a but out of touch but kinda funny.