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nulloperation wrote

I disagree with this:

Second, to be social you have to stop caring about people.

Seems like terrible advice.


hunger wrote

when you care so much about people in general, you're making yourself constantly vulnerable to all of their remarks, their glances, their emotional state, etc. The most pro-social people i see are the rich.... and they keep themselves segregated from and mentally block out anyone doing poorly, and most people dont have the guts to tell them how fucked they are to their face. They're insulated. But for most people, you have to deal with fucked people being shitbags, and with normal people being so distant to you, and innumerable pains. If you stop caring for people as a whole, and look at people as fundamentally flawed, then you can really see them for what they are.

People dont exist to themselves how they exist to us. We should recognize and accept this. Behind their clothes, their face, and their eyes, there might be nothing going on, pure observation, or a single thought, etc. They have a personal mythos but theyre tired of it like you're probably tired of your social masks too. What you believe they believe about themselves is probably wrong. We should see people for what they are, by not seeing people anymore but animals, lonely, treated like work horses or show dogs, who can communicate and all have to construct themselves as a "person" in communication with others. If we see people for what they are, we can love individuals all the more.

The most misanthropic people i know are survivors of huge abuse. They were forced to care very very much about other people, because their life depended on it. Fuck people, they're shit, and i accept that every one of us, myself and my friends (who i love) too are shit and crazy and fucked up and really just animals behind it all. When you can see the flaws, you can judge on their own how you want to care. Most of the time the flaws dont matter to you so you can be like "that person is trouble so i should stay away", etc., and you can even love someone for all their flaws too.

When we care about people so much we have to put them in categories of good or bad, or "the neutral masses" maybe but we can't help but place them somewhere in our mind. When we regard people as insignificant, fucked up, etc. by default, we have no obligation to pay them any more heed than thinking about navigating them in the present, and we can have much more honest views of people that gives room for more compassion/forgiveness and also more room for understanding the flaws of those closest to us and ourselves.