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Discarded by entire family

Submitted by noordinaryspider in homeless

I thought this kind of shit only happened in the movies.

My entire family, including children (minor walked out on his own two feet. He chose. He snivelled and simpered but he chose. I have no kids.) tossed me in the garbage can a few days ago. wtf are days?

So I'm going to be homeless for the first time since 1982. I'm not sixty but I doubt if I'm going to last that long.

I'm sitting in this house that used to be my home surrounded by all the same possessions I've ever known but it's so odd, just knowing that everything is going to be thrown in the trash and I'm going to walk away from this whole life shit with nothing but what's on my back.

WTF. Who does this to people.

Well, they did it to me.

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5

noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

No reason. They just didn't want me any more.

I'm homeless till death. Got a Raddler considering the possibility of coming to pick me up and hitching back to his place for some quick or slow ejumacation but yea....

No idea how long I'll live. No choices. Decided not to pay my credit card or, for that matter, any of the bills.

I'm unemployable so I'm essentially leaving me behind. I won't exist when I close this door.

I mean, noordinaryspider will.....if I decide to use computers.....but birth name, driver's license, entire fucking life up until EXACTLY 7:30 AM on September 1, 2018 is pretty much up for grabs. Free sale. Fuck money. I'm bringing a dollar in case anyone asks if I have a dollar.

This is weird and crazy and surreal as hell.

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surreal wrote

any local squat near you that you can go?

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noordinaryspider wrote

Behind Bayshore Mall. That's where I'm heading after I walk out of the 'hood. I don't know anybody. Literally nobody.

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noordinaryspider wrote

If anyone can connect me online with someone down there it would be extremely helpful. I'm very unconnected in this town.

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mofongo wrote

Is there anything we could do to help? A GoFundMe or something? I have seeing you going through this.

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noordinaryspider wrote

Maybe. I just can't think about money right now. That's what got me into this mess in the first place. I could never quite reach escape velocity. I never will if I try to go the slave labour route.

It's just been like this my whole life. This family will pick one member for their "permanent" or "pet" psychological patient and then they'll all just torture them until they die.

Taking the kid was supposed to be acting out my "worst nightmare" but there was more of me than they realized underneath. They've taken other kids.

I'm going to be more rational in a few days if I can get the sleeping and eating shit together. A squat is starting to sound nice. I keep forgetting I don't have a kid or a cat. It's like "phantom pain" for amputees--just beyond my comprehension to be singular right now.

It's been over 30 years since I've been singular.

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noordinaryspider wrote

If you know anyone who can tell me more about the squat behind the mall that would be helpful. Preferably online or phone. I need to be able to ask questions, answer questions, and then just get out when I've had enough.

If that's not possible, it's okay. I'll just wait until I'm ready or until I can't. If they tell me it's time to go I'm going to put on my backpack. I'm going to walk out the door. I'm going to go down to the Bayshore Mall. Behind the Bayshore Mall there is a squat. I am going to go to the squat. Then I will be safe.

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ziq wrote

:(

Where is your minor going to stay? Other family members convinced him to stay with them instead of with you..? What's their issue with you?

Maybe someone in your area could help if you want to give out that info?

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noordinaryspider wrote (edited )

Gone. No idea where. Never will. He went willingly. Not interested in knowing any more.

What's their issue with you?

It appears to be one of those weird old corrupt Southern families. Probably not a good idea for me to dig too deep right now. I still want to doxx them so I put up a bit more information in the appropriate forum, but getting angry about the latest generation is counterproductive.

I wish with every fibre of my being that I could help my kids and that's what's always made me crack before, how they always roped me back in.

Yes, I do have to turn off everything I feel for my kids like a light switch if I'm going to get myself together enough to go down to the squat but that wasn't helping.

They're just gone.

I feel phantom kids around me the same way an amputee would feel phantom pain in the leg that isn't there any more, but the phantom kids aren't real. There is only me. I haven't been singular in over 30 years. This alone is a strange, disconcerting, and frightening sensation.

I can't help my kids.

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ziq wrote (edited )

I know you're in a bad place but this is a 10 year old kid, kids can be mean but it doesn't stop them from loving their mother unconditionally.