Do you mean "it did not work automagically as soon as I finished the installation?" If that's what you mean then boo hoo. You might actually have to participate in getting your computer to work how you want.

get your own fucking computer to work as a participating member of the community instead of whining like a customer

As i said in the post, i spent two whole days on this. I don't assume things to magically work by any means, and I don't mind spending time on fixing issues. In this case, however, I just couldn't get anything to work properly. I've never had to deal with anything as annoying as this before. Please fuck off with the holier-than-thou attitude.

After an absurd amount of hours spent troubleshooting, i finally got almost everything to work in Ubuntu MATE.