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bloodrose wrote

I was a headstrong girl and am a headstrong woman. To the point I was and am consistently called masculine. It is rather annoying because I have a buttload of femininity, too. I was raised with three brothers with neglectful parents who just decided to treat me like the boys. It was probably really good for my emotional state but it has led to problems in the work place.

For example, do the moderating effects of gender arise because of differences in actual productivity, or because colleagues and supervisors have negative perceptions of headstrong women and dependent men?

This question from the researcher, I can answer: it is 1,000% negative perceptions. In a meeting, when someone is giving incorrect facts, men are allowed to say "No, that's not right. Here is the proof that this isn't right." I tried to do this. It is straightforward, non-judgemental and reasonable language. I have been told I have to do it like "I'm sorry, I must be confused. I thought it was this because of this proof. Can you explain to me what I'm missing?" I have had to be trained as an adult to speak like this. And I can tell you once I mastered the female way of doing it, I got promoted, I get recognition, etc.

And it's suuuuuuuuuuuuuuch bullshit.

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existential1 OP wrote

Damn...that is such a "bruuuuuhhh" story. I'm not really a violent person, but I feel like your situation and many others could be solved by smacking someone upside the head while saying, "bruh." Like...we should be passed such nonsense.

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bloodrose wrote

Yeah but I'm a woman. I am financially penalized if I am direct. It is everywhere, too. It's not like one boss. It's this ridiculous unspoken rule. Thankfully, I had a boss who explained it to me and I was able to adapt. There are some people I don't have to be like that with. If it's just me and an IT person (of any gender expression) with no witnesses, we can be direct and it's fine. But business/finance/marketing/HR/sales? fuck no.

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