You may have some compulsive things to work through. that's important, and I'm not taking away from that.

However, the context in which your narrative of compulsion is playing out, is one in which the dominant society (capitalism) wants you to stop engaging in direct action which you violate its arbitrary social norms (property rights of corporations/petit bourgeois entrepeneurs). But the thing is, the violation of these norms is actually helpful to totally reasonable politics (anti-capitalism, anarchism). So there is a political factor involved.

So you have to consider your own personal situation first, and do what's right for you. but also, I'm just mentioning that there's a broader struggle between social forces, which you can understand your particular situation within if you so choose. Just offering an alternative, to the medicalizing/neoliberal model which you are currently expressing to us.