Submitted by SwiperYesSwiping in axolotl (edited )

I rode my bike like 9 miles to a Walmart and swiped like 100 MTG booster packs. I also used my fishing magnet to un-spiderwrap 2 Google Home Minis and 2 police scanners.

But some broad had to ruin it by doing the “scan all areas” bullshit.

Had half a mind to say fuck it, go back in the store and swipe those items. I just would have felt too awkward so I rode my bike to another Walmart expecting them to have the same merchandise. They only had one police scanner and no Google home minis.

So I swiped the scanner, some binoculars, and headphones instead.

Of course while I was looking at the headphones, a lvl 7 customer service rogue asked if I “need help finding anything”. 🙄 I told her I was just looking for an item I saw online. She then pulls out her phone and says she’ll help me find it. (sigh) I hadn’t even taken anything off the shelf at this point. Had she been younger and a male, that would have earned her a face full of pepper spray.

I actually was going to give up, but that annoyance put a fire in my belly and I had to touch em.

Happy lifting. Stay safe, even if it means harming employees. They know the risks, and if they don’t, they gon learn today.

”A 100 Miles and Runnin'. Swiper, I hold the gun and You want me to steal a motherfucker and it's done in. Since I'm stereotyped to kill and destruct, Is one of the main reasons I don't give a fuck!

P.S. to the snowflake LP guys who are registered here: go ahead and downvote this. I’ll still have the merchandise and you’ll still be a virgin 😌

P.P.S. Pics:



You must log in or register to comment.

Torskion wrote

Are MTG packs source tagged?


SwiperYesSwiping OP wrote

Damn I didn’t even check. I didnt really care anyway because I expect the other things to be source tagged.

I was just gonna do a brazen walkout and set off the towers 😎


noop wrote

My only issue with this is that you said people working at walmart know things and that there's LPs on raddle