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zoom_zip wrote

gonna reply to this, but not to offer an answer; only to offer solidarity. i'm not coping. every day i am looking for a way out of this collective nightmare that we have created for ourselves. but i can't see one. not in my current situation. if i didn't have people that relied on me, maybe i would desert, abandon civilisation, go and live in a cave in the woods, but it is just not an option for me so i am stuck in this prison of wage slavery--and if i don't do it, i will starve.

i even got a job where i thought i would be able to help people and contribute to society; but i have again become stuck in a system of drudgery and paperwork, and in a position where my job requires me to actively cause one of the worst harms against another person that it is possible to do.

looking for a new job doesn't feel like an answer either. it's just a different way to engage with hell. fiery wasteland, but with a view from a different window. the only solution i can think of is to find some way of leveraging some talent that i have to create an income where i am not beholden to a long chain of middle managers who get to decide how i apply the time that they are stealing from me. i haven't figured out what that is yet, because saturated markets make it feel impossible to break into any industry; most of which are monopolised or controlled by larger corporate entities.

for example, lets say my thing is making films. well, the majority of that industry is controlled by studios, publishers, bullshit jobs that keep a stranglehold on the production of things within that industry. if i subvert that and make a film on my own, of my own accord, i have to figure out a way to break through the hundreds of thousands of other people who are also doing that--saturated. then i have to convince people in a world where there is so much free choice and availability of media, to pay me for the thing that i created?

at this point, it's starting to feel like work again. not just work. soulless marketing.

the only piece of advice i can give that may even remotely be helpful, is to find ways to reduce your dependency on capital. then cut your work hours. recognise that you don't need to buy a lot of things; so you need less money; and because you need less money, you can work less hours.

i work only the hours that i am required to buy a frugal amount of food and pay my shelter (it comes out about 24 hours a week). i still fucking hate it. i still fucking hate that 24 hours of my week are taken from me, but i still get to claim back some time compared to the norm.

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celebratedrecluse wrote

Drugs, art, friends, small crimes

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[deleted] wrote

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celebratedrecluse wrote

Illegal art is a good one, and not too bad if you get caught.

I also like to ride on the bicycles

Psychedelics are quite a strong one, but I can't imagine you'll be boredom.

Friends are hard. The usual ways of making more are far and few between these days.

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UberGeek wrote

Does using the office printers to spin out rad zines count as "small crimes"? Asking for a friend, and all.

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_caspar_ wrote

cooking, weed, watching films, listening to music or podcasts throughout the day, going on walks, having a beer outdoors, fires at night every once in awhile. my partner helps tremendously in creating fun moments everyday. attempting to stay engaged in study: reading philosophy or fiction, working on personal research projects, sitting in online reading groups (a good one over at the nihilist instance on mastodon).

although this all might sound nice and easy, its been one of the roughest periods of my life this winter and unlearning how not to be stressed is an ongoing endeavor. reading from Liezi has helped me to focus on just allowing things to play out as they will. having no savings and student loans also, I can only pay for what I need and desire, the loans just dont/wont get paid. its like they dont even exist!

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MidnightHamster wrote (edited )

I am sincerely sorry that you have also become a victim of this huge machine grinding the bones of millions of people every day, every minute, every second. Sometimes I think that even when I'm sleeping on the other side of the globe, someone is working hard and hates everything surrounding him. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer for you. Sometimes I'm so tired that the day for me is a set of rapidly changing pictures from pillow to pillow. I am thinking about taking courses in financial modeling, which I read about at wallstreetoasis.com(https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/resources/financial-modeling/list-best-financial-modeling-courses), and start getting at least more money for your torment. But I hope that you will find a way out of this circle of Samsara. Good luck! I will believe in you.

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