Submitted by Vulgar_Soda in Vegan

invalidate your vegan cred? I'm wondering how that even works. Like, if I was sitting there eating a salad and then my partner is shoving bovine carcass into their face hole in front of me, how could I call myself vegan if I didn't do anything to stop them from purchasing the cow corpse in the first place? Worse yet, what if I paid for it indirectly because we share expenses? Wouldn't fucking a non-vegan be tantamount to supporting their non-vegan way of life? I wouldn't fuck a nazi. Why are meat eaters suddenly okay?

I keep thinking back to a post here where a user (pretty sure it was /u/moonlune) was arguing that people aren't truly vegan unless they further animal liberation (or something to that effect). Under that definition, most "vegans" are just plant-based pretenders. That single post ruined me. I kept thinking, what's the point in my vegan theatrics? I'm no vegan if I befriend and support non-vegans. I can't even save the neglected snakes at my friend's house (she isn't the one neglecting them, the roommate that doesn't pay rent and is never there is the culprit). A real vegan would have done something. All I could was eat my mixed nuts and sigh at the snakes' miserable existence.

Is it possible to be vegan and do nothing but eat daiya queso quesadillas?

Is it possible to be vegan and be with a non-vegan long term? I feel like eventually there'd be too much friction, too much mutual animosity. I stopped eating meals together with the family when I went vegan, because they couldn't end their flesh addiction, and because I couldn't stand the passive-aggressive remarks. The relationships were marred by disapproval from both ends.

I keep thinking, what's the point of eating only plants and doing nothing else? Love is the ultimate battlefield of ideology. Dating a non-vegan would be compromise, and compromising ideals means admitting defeat. Might as well take a bite of a Big Mac if I'm willing to suck non-vegan dick.

God, I need sleep.



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ikk wrote (edited )

i don't think liberation pledge dating is that much of a compromise, i.e. only eating completely vegan together, potentially veganizing them.


capitan wrote

My friend's partner is the opposite. He is a vegan in their shared home, but will eat meat when they go out.


Bezotcovschina wrote

Yeah, I'm suffering from huge impostor syndrome calling myself vegan, because of constant torrent of "Am I doing enough?" thoughts. And what even is enough? Maybe, the same story as with anarchy, there is no such thing as being vegan but only an aspiration? I always could do more to fight specieism and human-centrism and it never will be enough. Maybe, consciousness about that is a key?

I'm married to a non-vegan. I love them nevertheless and the last thing I want to do is forcing them (or anyone, really) to adopt my way of living. Probably, it's because me myself don't feel that I'm some kind of stainless paragon (see above). I do compromise on things. So do anyone. The way, I chosen is chosen on pure egoistical basis of achieving inner peace and consistency for views. I don't know where to draw a line on things one willing to compromise with, so I'll avoid telling others where they should draw it.


existential1 wrote

Stop relying on and reifying vegan identity and just do what makes sense. No rulers, no masters.

I say this as a vegan myself. You're a human first and foremost.


moonlune wrote

Yay got name dropped. Yes it was me lol. Me neither I don't do anything but eat my mixed nuts and silently gasp at the way animals are treated. I still hate myself for not doing more btw.

I'd accept a short term relationships with a non-veg*an because they don't know yet, but a long-term relationship would be harder to have because of the chasm between our values. My mom asked my dad to stop smoking if he wanted things to go further, and he dropped the cigarette. Although I'm not too fond of relationships anyways so I might not be the best person to take relationship advices from...

in other words, as long as u don't mix ur fluids ur safe. /jk


ghost wrote

I ain’t no cop. I’m not gonna police anyones food.

My partner wasn’t vegan when we met but is now… it helped that I did all the cooking and wouldn’t cook meat, but it was ultimately his choice to stop eating it outside the house.

Anyway, there are legit reasons someone might need to consume animal products to survive and I’m not gonna be that kinda asshole to say I can’t date them because of their disability.

(I will not be arguing that point. If you’re genuinely interested, read “beast of burden” by Sinatra Taylor to learn about the intersection of animal liberation and disabled liberation.)


calamada wrote

I think after you stop eating animal products and stop doing the most obvious things hurting animals like buying leather or animal tested cosmetics, there should be milestone saying "Now you are vegan". After that, you can always be more vegan, doing activism, spreading the message, go zero waste etc. There's no point making actual vegans feeling guilty, when 97% rest of the world are the ones that should be. It's this present shitty society, that keeps telling us we are not enough, not doing enough, are being lazy and so on. No need to stain anarchy with the same doctrine.