Also unrelated rant damn being vegan is hard. So I have been eating heavily on peanut butter bc lazy. So for a while I would eat the natural kind of peanut butter which didn't have hydrogenated vegetable oil. So I then learned about sugar being nonvegan. But then later I learn that fully hydrogenated vegtable oil isn't that harmful like partial hydrogenation. So I go back to regular peanut butter bc it tastes better and is way cheaper. So I stock up on PB but then remember fuck sugar isn't vegan. God damn
Then yesterday I went on a walk to go buy some food. I had stocked up on lot of nuts and peanut but I wanted some more yummy carbs. So as i was shopping I was looking for the most economical carb that I didn't have to cook. It ended up buying some generic brand cornflakes. Then when I get home I realize fuck, its fortified with vitamin D which in most cases isn't vegan shit.
I saw my brother yesterday too. he bought some french fries that no one was going to eat so he was just gonna toss them so I ate it. Which in fairness is fine but then later i realized oh yeah most fast food ries aren't vegan bc they add milk. Which sure I think eating animal products that would be thrown away is better than buying food but I honestly don't like it much tho I feel its better to eat the thrown away frood that new food. Tho tbh I can't stomach eating any animal products straight. I can only handle stuff that its like milk powder or whatever.
I still think about something I did a year ago and cringe and feel bad. So i met two cool people who were really nice to me and I wanted them to like me. So they offered me to try some bread they made. And I thought yeah bread i should be fine. So then when I get it its just fucking slathered in butter. And then one of them asks. Oh no, aren't you vegan I'm so sorry. And I just am too anxious and don't wanna make a scene or be rude to people who have been so nice. So i just painfully eat this bread and just die inside.
So every time I eat a animal product on accident I just remember me doing that and just become very uncomfortable and think about how I'm such a fucking scum bag people please.