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edmund_the_destroyer wrote

I didn't mean for my tone to be condescending or to come across as humouring people.

But I don't have to understand people who create abstract art, Muslims, or people covered with tattoos to respect their right to exist in society and be free from discrimination and mistreatment. How is sexuality different?


GaldraChevaliere wrote

Gender and sexuality, while often intertwined, are far from synonymous. I understand the point you want to make, but it's a mistake that often leads to further confusion and misunderstanding down the line.

Speaking from a trans femme perspective, but one that's generally aggressive towards 'fixed' perceptions of gender, the way I feel about my body is more androgynous than anything. I don't feel wholly within the boxes of male or female, including in their 'traditional' gender performance (a very young and christo-eurocentric thing). I feel feminine, in that my appearance and my attitudes are mostly within that set of boxes, and certainly identify more with woman- than manhood.

But I also feel that to wholly immerse myself within those boxes would be inauthentic and alienating to me as a fully formed person, and living within the grey zone (problematically referred to as being a 'trap' by most people I've met and occasionally myself self-deprecatingly) is where I feel most complete and fulfilled. My experiences and my upbringing have led to having a much different life than a cis man or woman have had, and I feel a deep kinship and solidarity to other trans* and gender non-conforming folk for the bulk of those shared struggles, but I am not wholely like a transwoman who is definitively a woman either.

I guess the tl;dr is that as a person, addressing this wholely philosophically because I don't want to get super into the neurology or hormonal aspects right now, I am almost completely alienated to the western modern world's perception of sex and gender. I am only me, and what I want is the freedom to live as only me, and not as a lover's dirty little secret or an 'ally's' pawn or a cishet man's easy fuck and murder victim. I cannot pursue that freedom authentically by forcing myself to be one thing or another when neither are who I am.